


The Freedom to Choose

by Naramis



Category: Gentleman Jack (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Smut, au set in the future, there'll be some pseudo-science that I completely made up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:41:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 55,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28394796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naramis/pseuds/Naramis
Summary: Follow-up to the Christmas 2065 one-shot.After a night of passion following a Christmas party, Ann and Anne part ways but none can quite stop thinking about the other. But the situation is complicated and both have their own problems standing in the way. Can they find the courage to tackle their issues together?
Relationships: Anne Lister (1791-1840)/Ann Walker (1803-1854)
Comments: 200
Kudos: 187





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't already, I'd advise you read my Christmas 2065 story first since it's what happened before this :)

** The Freedom to Choose **

If anyone had told Anne before attending Christopher Rawson’s Christmas party that she’d end up thoroughly enjoying herself for most of the night, she would’ve likely laughed at them.

On the way there she’d run many possible outcomes through her head, and sure, picking up a cute girl and having some fun was among those, but none of her imaginations had come close to how amazing her night with Ann had been.

And not just the night. After barely being able to keep their hands off each other in the morning, they’d eventually managed to order breakfast to Anne’s room at around 9:30.

They were now sitting together facing one another, each in a white bathrobe with the hotel’s golden orchid logo embroidered on it, and Ann was happily digging into her pancake while Anne enjoyed her scrambled eggs and bacon while her thoughts kept going back to the previous night, the amazing sex and how she could barely keep herself from grinning far more than felt appropriate considering this was only supposed to have been a one-night stand – even if a particularly incredible one.

But here was the thing, she thought when making eye contact with Ann and the corners of her blue eyes wrinkled with her genuine smile – Ann had had a crush on her for a long time, clearly still felt that way, and Anne, well, Anne couldn’t deny that she felt drawn to the cute blonde as well.

There was also the part of her that wanted to hold her back, the part that reminded her of her past with Mariana. The sting that still caused could hardly be ignored, as well as the fact that she’d been too trustworthy, had not guarded her heart enough and as a result had been backstabbed by Mariana marrying Charles when she’d least expected it.

 _Who says it would be any different with another woman?_ That reasonable voice in her head reminded her, but it had a hard time battling against the excited part of her that wanted to leap into this and give it a shot after such a long period of being single and wanting for a woman to spend her evenings with.

“What are you thinking about?”

Anne looked up from her thoughts, smiling.

“Oh, just business I need to see to at Shibden,” she lied.

“On Christmas?” Ann raised her eyebrows.

“The financial sector never rests,” Anne said with a shrug, and it wasn’t even a lie. Though she did take a few days off, not that Ann needed to know that.

Ann hummed, nodding before putting the last piece of pancake in her mouth.

Anne took a sip of her Earl Grey, that excited part of her urging her to ask for Ann’s number so she could see her again, so she could make it clear to her that she was interested in pursuing this, assuming Ann was too.

But she held on, biting her lip. She couldn’t quite bring herself to do it, even though there was no harm getting her number, right? She didn’t have to use it, but it gave her options, so-

The clattering of cutlery as Ann put it down drew her out of her thoughts, her gaze following her as she rose from her seat and moved over to the minibar. Anne licked her lips as Ann bent down to retrieve her beverage – her ass looked great even in that bathrobe that concealed more than she liked.

Ann turned her head and caught her mid-stare, a knowing look on her face as she rose and reached for the bottle opener, biting her lip and coyly glancing back once more before breaking eye contact.

A quick glance at the time later, Anne moved over, wrapping her arms around Ann and pulling her against her front. She giggled, pressing against her.

That giggle turned into a pleased hum as Anne kissed along her neck, inhaling her sweet scent as her hand wandered to the behind she’d just admired and gave it a firm squeeze.

She licked the shell of her ear. “You knew I was going to look.”

“Yes,” came the breathless reply.

Anne reached to her front to open the belt, wasting no time when the robe fell open and slipping her hands inside to fill her palms with Ann’s breasts.

She groaned, reaching up to cover Anne’s hands with hers and then gently pulling them away, causing Anne to still and frown in confusion.

Ann turned to face her, putting her arms around Anne’s neck with a smile as she pressed against her and kissed her hard, wiping away any worry. If Ann wasn’t so good at swiping her off her feet kissing her _like that_ and making her ache for her, Anne might’ve wondered if she was losing her edge letting such small moments slow her momentum like that.

But Ann and her insistent tongue and lips didn’t allow her, shutting down that ever-thinking brain like flipping a switch. Anne slipped both her hands back inside her open robe and to her hips, pulling Ann against her while pressing the both of them against the counter behind Ann.

She kissed along her jawline, finding a fire similar to the one burning inside her looking back at her from those darkened eyes when she gazed at her and reached down. Ann held onto her as she lifted her on top of the counter.

Anne stood between her legs, running her hand up her thigh and letting her fingertips tickle the sensitive skin, making Ann shudder.

“Please don’t tease,” she breathed, angling her hips forward.

Anne kissed her cheek, smirking. “But why? We have time, don’t we? I want to enjoy you.”

Ann groaned before looking at her with the most desperate expression. “Because I need you.”

Anne’s core throbbed at the desire Ann showed so openly. Was there anything hotter? She growled, kissing her hard as her hand slipped between her legs to find her wet and ready. She started rubbing fast urgent circles over her clit, and Ann moaned against her mouth.

The room was filled with her gasps and moans as Anne continued her work, losing herself in the feeling of Ann so wet against her hand, so responsive to her touch and not afraid to show it-

The sudden loud melody of a pop song Anne couldn’t remember the name of but had undoubtedly heard countless times before broke their moment, and this time Ann’s groan was not one of desire as she looked across the room. Anne raised her eyebrows in question but didn’t let up touching her.

“Ignore it,” Ann gasped, bordering on a moan as her eyes slipped closed and she held Anne close.

Anne nodded, willing herself to ignore the pop song as the phone continued ringing for what felt like forever. She rubbed a little harder, switching to her thumb and teasing her entrance with her fingers. It was delicious, wonderful, if not for… if not for this stupid caller not getting the hint and hanging up.

Ann seemed to feel the same, sighing in defeat and moving to get off the counter. Anne pulled away, standing there frustrated at whoever was interrupting their perfectly good morning shag.

“Yes, Cath, what is it?”

Anne watched with a raised eyebrow but stayed silent.

“What?” Ann sighed, turning to face Anne with an apologetic look. “Okay, okay. I’ll hurry up. She really- she really needs to calm down, she acts like I cannot be left unattended for five minutes.”

Another sigh. “I know. I’ll see you in a bit then.”

Anne tentatively moved closer, sensing Ann’s distress. “That doesn’t sound so good.”

Ann smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes. “No. Apparently Eliza thinks the fact that I’m not opening the door to my room means I must’ve hurt myself or something like that.”

Anne opened her mouth to say something but stopped when Ann fastened the belt of her bathrobe and nervously moved around the room to pick up her clothes from the night before.

“Cath says she’s getting really worried, and of course she cannot tell her the truth that I’m okay and here with you because she’ll connect the dots and I’ll never hear the end of it.”

Anne nodded, somehow understanding – she knew what Eliza was like – but also feeling a sting that this was what it was like. _It’s always the same._ And of course it was no different with Ann. She swallowed her frustration for now, knowing this was not anything Ann needed right now.

It was her own fault anyway, she shouldn’t have gotten her hopes up, Anne thought bitterly.

Having picked up her stuff, Ann smiled apologetically as she closed the distance between them.

“I’m sorry about this. My family-” she gestured as if that would explain everything in a moment.

Anne shook her head, forcing a smile but the disappointment in her eyes was clear. “No, I…” she paused, “I understand.”

She looked to the door. “Go, before Eliza gets any ideas.” She leaned close, pecking her lips.

Ann held her close, deepening the kiss before Anne could pull away. She felt a sense of loss when they parted.

Ann looked over her shoulder once more with a small smile before closing the door behind her.

They’d had their fun but that was that. Why had she even let herself hope it would be different? With a woman like Ann Walker of all people. Her family was calling the shots, and this is how it would always be, she knew that. And Ann knew that too.

Anne groaned, letting herself fall on the bed. Memories of last night came back to her, and she consciously reminded herself that she’d had a lot of fun, that anything more would’ve likely been troublesome anyway with Ann’s family in the way, and that she valued the freedom of being alone. _Right._

She nodded off for she didn’t know how long, waking up refreshed and much better for it. The nap had given her a bit of a break to gain back some distance. It was time to call her aunt and pack her things so they could check out and go home in the next couple of hours.

****

Anne sighed when she sat down in their taxi and the driver closed the door. As comfortable as the hotel bed had been, she was looking forward to her own bed at home. Yet, there was also a sense of heaviness in her chest that she found hard to ignore.

Aunt Anne met her gaze, smiling. “Did you have a good evening? I didn’t see you around after I went for the buffet.”

She had a knowing twinkle in her eye. Of course her aunt was no stranger to Anne’s pursuits, though she doubted that her aunt had seen whom she’d snuck away with.

Anne smiled, nodding. “Quite good, aunt. I managed to avoid Christopher all evening, that already is a success and made for a pleasant evening.”

“Why even go when you hate him so much?” Marian piped up from the left. Anne rolled her eyes.

“You don’t understand these things, Marian. It’s business.”

“Can’t be that important for ‘business’ if you’re fine avoiding him all night.”

Anne hated to admit it – and she wouldn’t, not openly – but her sister had a point there. She only shook her head, huffing as she turned to look out the window and watched the busy city fly by.

Before long, her thoughts went back to Ann and filled the silence in her head. What if she’d gotten her number? There was no point overthinking this now, she reminded herself – the chance was gone. Ann was practically her neighbour, sure, but that didn’t mean she should just go over there out of the blue – she’d likely make a fool out of herself anyway.

“Oh, I forgot,” her aunt spoke up. “I ran into the Priestley’s earlier, and we all agreed it would be lovely if they popped round for lunch next week.”

Anne’s eyes widened. “What?”

Her aunt smiled, taking her hand like she often did to calm her. “I know, I know. Eliza is a bit of hard work sometimes, but I thought it’d be nice.”

Anne nodded slowly, not sure how well she would cope having to deal with Eliza’s nonsense _again_ especially after she already ruined her perfectly good morning with-

“Oh, they’re bringing Ann, by the way,” her aunt added cheerfully. “She’ll be happy to see you.”

Anne coughed. Her throat felt dry suddenly, her palms sweaty as her stress level skyrocketed in a matter of seconds.

“Everything alright, dear?” Her aunt looked at her with concern, and Anne was glad that she seemed to genuinely have no clue what had gone on between them last night. She did not want to talk about it.

Anne forced a smile. “Of course. It’ll be good, aunt.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! I haven't written anything longer than a one-shot in years, so please be gentle with me and my storytelling :D
> 
> Have a good start into the new year!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, first of all I'm so blown away by all this support and wanted to thank you for it. Second, I didn't expect to have this chapter ready before New Year's, but here we are :D Enjoy!

Christmas came and went rather quickly and uneventfully for Anne, as usual.

She’d stopped feeling and living the spirit of it some time ago, the last of it dying with her love for Mariana and whatever romantic ideals she’d had attached to that and her idealised vision of sharing a true ‘family Christmas’ some day with everyone together and happy – and her and Mariana married, of course.

Now, however, the whole festivity wasn’t much more than an excuse to indulge in all her favourite foods for a few days without worry, and usually getting drunk late in the night to drown her sorrows.

The last part was noticeably different this year, though. Anne didn’t feel the usual urge to grab her bottle of cognac and lock herself in her room after the family dinner. Her mood was not as dark and stuck in nostalgia and what-could’ve-been’s this time around, and she was silently thankful for it.

She had to smile to herself when her family seemed surprised as she stayed downstairs with them for longer and they chatted lightly while the usual Christmas programmes were on in the background and the fireplace warmed them.

Through all of it and despite her best efforts, her thoughts kept being drawn back to a certain pretty neighbour, wondering what Ann might be up to this evening. Her chest constricted with an uncomfortable mix of doubt and excitement, of curiosity and hesitation, so she tried her best to distract herself from a topic she’d better avoid for as long as she could – until Ann’s inevitable visit in a few days.

When she retreated to the silence of her room later in the night and stood near the window to look outside and take in the northern lights that had appeared in the sky – a beautiful anomaly sometimes caused by instabilities in the artificially created horizon of their colony – there was no distracting herself from her thoughts and the conflict inside her anymore.

Anne stared at the beauty outside, but her thoughts were going back to Ann. The young woman who was seemingly unhinging her already after one shared night. She had to shake her head at herself – the 29th couldn’t come soon enough; she was glad when this would hopefully give her a firm reminder that she’d be better off moving on to more fruitful pursuits.

****

Ann nervously bit her lip as she paced up and down in front of her mirror and checked her outfit for probably the 10th time. She didn’t usually care that much, but today she’d be seeing Anne and wanted to look pretty for her.

She hadn’t exactly left it in a great state with her that morning in the hotel, had she? Not like she’d had much choice with Eliza practically hyperventilating by the time she had been able to prove that yes, she was perfectly fine.

Catherine had given her the most amused smirk but luckily, no one had noticed. Still, as fun as it had been with Anne, Ann felt her heart sink that she’d rushed out on her like that and hadn’t even found the courage to go over to Shibden and make things right like she felt she should have.

She hoped that despite the Priestley’s presence making things more difficult she’d find a way to speak to Anne privately. Ann swallowed as the one question that had been burning inside her for days hammered through her head once more. _What if I’m just another conquest for her?_

****

Anne walked up and down nervously in her room, glancing at her watch so often it felt like time wasn’t passing at all. _5 more minutes if they’re on time._

She tried to resist the urge to go to her window and look out when she heard a car door being closed outside – what would it look like if anyone spotted her?

Chewing her lip, she straightened her black shirt once more, gave herself a once-over in the mirror and made sure her hair sat neatly in place just past her shoulders. Not wanting to appear too eager, she waited in her room for another 38 seconds before trying to appear casual as she strolled down the stairs to the entrance where her aunt and their visitors could already be heard chatting.

She took a deep breath, rounding the corner into the narrow entryway with a confident smile. The unmistakable glow of a familiar pair of blue eyes locked onto hers immediately, though she couldn’t see much of Ann with her view blocked by the Priestley’s. Her heart skipped a beat regardless.

“Ah, there she is! I was just mentioning you,” Eliza announced cheerfully as she approached Anne and shook her hand with enthusiasm.

Anne wanted to groan but played along, keeping her smile in place as William greeted her and then moved out of the way.

Her smile widened as she took in the one person she’d actually been looking forward to seeing today, no matter how much she’d tried to kid herself. She briefly looked her up and down with her grey knee-length skirt, black tights, boots and white sweater, and her mouth salivated; Ann looked sexy.

The others were still nearby, so Anne cleared her throat to remind herself of that fact, but it got a chuckle out of Ann as she stood close and took her hand in greeting – oh, Anne wished nothing more than to do more than that, but Eliza’s ever watchful gaze was a good reminder why she needed to keep her distance anyway.

“How have you been?” Ann asked softly. Her gaze seemed searching, and the way she was shifting on her feet a little made Anne wonder if she wasn’t the only one who was a little nervous.

Still, she couldn’t take her eyes from her despite her nerves. She shook her head to clear her thoughts. “Oh, quite well.” _Better if I hadn’t been torturing myself trying to avoid thinking about you all the time. Better now that you’re here._

She swallowed thickly as Ann smiled softly, innocently up at her. “And you?”

Ann glanced over to the side to her family who were still lingering but had moved a little further away. She rubbed her hands nervously.

“I- I’ve been meaning to apologise for running off the way I did,” she started gently, lowering her voice so the others couldn’t hear. “After the party.”

Anne nodded slowly. She’d been disappointed, yes, but really, this is how it was with her and women – have fun, then straight back to business. It wasn’t Ann’s fault that her situation was the way it was, Anne knew that.

“Don’t worry about it,” Anne replied, nodding over in Eliza’s direction, “you can’t change your family.”

Ann smiled sadly. “I wish I could.”

Anne felt sorry for her. “I know. But really, it’s alright about the hotel. I’m not holding it against you.”

Ann let out a long breath and seemed relieved. “I was wondering-“

“Do you two want to talk in the hallway all afternoon?”

They looked at each other, and Anne rolling her eyes got a small laugh out of Ann as they followed the others. Their hands accidentally brushed against one another in the narrow hallway, and it sent a spark through Anne’s body. She forced herself not to look in Ann’s direction.

Everybody sat down at the table, Cordingley served a few snacks and tea and soon they got talking about the usual mundane topics. How was life, what new gossip was going round – Eliza always had _something_ to tell – politics and the like. Anne couldn’t be more bored but didn’t hold back her opinions.

Ann remained silent through most of it, and Anne’s biggest struggle aside from her boredom with the conversation was not to blatantly stare at the pretty woman sitting right in front of her. It was as if a magnet was constantly trying to pull her eyes away and towards Ann, no matter where she was looking or what she was trying to focus on. It was maddening.

She twitched in her seat when she felt a nudge against her lower leg, but ignored it – must’ve been an accident. Taking a sip from her drink, she nearly spilled some when there was the distinct feeling of a _foot_ gently trailing along her leg.

Her eyes snapped to Ann who was giving her the most innocent smile. Anne held her gaze, glad that everyone else seemed so engrossed in each other that no one paid attention to her and Ann.

Anne stretched out her own foot and nudged Ann’s leg, raising an eyebrow in a silent challenge as Ann bit her lip to oppress a laugh, then nudged her back and trailed her foot higher, along her inner thigh and-

“How is it going at the bank, Anne? I’ve heard some investment banks have made losses lately with the stock market’s volatility.”

The foot froze, pulling away, and Anne took a sharp breath as she tried to calm her breathing and appear casual. She turned to William, trying to quickly formulate a reply in her head.

“I… Well-“ she took a long sip from her glass.

“Excuse me, dry throat.” She glanced at Ann for a moment and didn’t miss the sly smile she got in return.

“You see, William, that’s quite right, but many people forget that in such times it’s important to stay calm and wait it out, maybe shift a few investments around but nothing major. The market usually corrects itself in time.”

“The worst you could do – but some people do, because they’re afraid – is selling right away when their shares lose a lot of value.”

He nodded, seemingly content with that response. “That makes a lot of sense.”

She smiled at him before looking back at Ann who was watching her with an intensity in her eyes that was reminiscent of their night together. Anne licked her lips.

“Excuse me.” Ann rose from her seat, their eyes meeting briefly before she left the room.

Anne shifted in her chair, the material suddenly uncomfortable against every cell of her being as she counted down the seconds in her head.

“I’ll be right back,” she announced and left the room in the direction of the kitchen.

Not that she intended to go there. She walked right through towards the bathroom where she suspected Ann had gone, knocking politely.

The door opened straight away and she was pulled inside and pushed against the door as she heard the lock click and hungry lips found hers. She groaned, wrapping her arms around Ann.

Her head was spinning when she felt small hands trail down over her chest and straight to her pants to wrench them open. A hand brusquely cupped her through her boxers, and Anne moaned. She didn’t know what had gotten into Ann, but she wasn’t going to complain.

“You shouldn’t be allowed to- to talk like that,” Ann panted against her mouth as she slowly, maddeningly rubbed her through her underwear.

It wasn’t enough, and Anne was getting desperate fast. She urgently pressed against her hand, not caring how needy it looked.

“Talk like what?” Her voice cracked at the end as Ann slid her hand inside and applied just the right amount of pressure to her aching clit.

“All business and smart and like- like you know so much.”

Ann blushed, and Anne would’ve laughed at the ambivalence of it all – this woman fiercely ripping her pants open in her _own_ bathroom who was now shyly admitting Anne’s business talk had worked her up – but as it stood, she could only gasp and shudder under her precise touch.

“I’m going to- _fuck_ – keep that in mind.”

Ann sloppily kissed her, and it was good that she did because Anne wasn’t sure if she’d have been able to keep it down as her orgasm started washing over her like the fiercely unpredictable wave of a tsunami rolling over a small island.

She didn’t know how much time had passed when she opened her eyes and found Ann staring at her in a way that instinctively made her want to hold her in her arms and protect her from the world. _Don’t go there._

Anne shook the feeling off, letting out a sigh. A grin started growing on her face. She wrapped her arms around Ann’s waist, about to flip them round when the blonde pulled back.

“I’d love to, but I don’t think we have time.”

They had been in here long enough already. As much as she hated to admit it, Ann probably had a point. Slowly nodding, Anne pressed a kiss to her lips, smiling when Ann leaned into it.

“I’ll go first,” she said eventually, her hand brushing Anne’s before she left her alone in the bathroom.

The feeling of loss was eerily familiar to their morning at the hotel, but Anne tried to ignore it as she looked herself over in the mirror, zipped up her pants and made sure she didn’t look quite as thoroughly fucked as she felt.

She met her own gaze in the mirror with a lopsided smile. _What are you getting yourself into?_

Another two minutes later she left the bathroom and nearly ran into Marian on her way back.

“You’ve taken a while, where’ve you been?”

“On the phone, Marian.”

Her sister frowned but moved past her without another word, which Anne was grateful for. Her excuse was good enough, surely, but she still didn’t feel like discussing it with her sister.

She didn’t have much luck trying to avoid looking at Ann when she got back, and it felt like she wasn’t the only one, as she often already found her eyes on hers when she stole a glance.

“Miss Lister,” Eliza spoke up, drawing Anne’s attention away from the only woman in the room she had eyes for. Luckily, she knew Eliza was too self-absorbed to have noticed it. Hopefully.

“Yes?”

“I was wondering if you’re going to attend my New Year’s party this year. You were sorely missed last year, you know.”

She smiled, and Anne returned the gesture politely. Oh yes, last year. She’d rather not be reminded of the disaster that was.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Eliza.”

Glancing over at Ann, she found her smiling sweetly. Of course. Ann would be there. Suddenly, Anne was finding a sense of excitement blooming in her chest.

It wasn’t that she disliked Eliza’s New Year’s parties, they were fun enough when Anne needed something to distract her from her sulking and the ever-painful reminder that she was still without a woman at the end of each year. But aside from that purpose she knew they weren’t all _that_ great.

But now… well. Perhaps they could continue the business they’d had to interrupt in the bathroom.

A few minutes later, Anne watched the Priestley’s drive off, standing at the door with a faraway stare.

“You and Miss Walker are getting along,” her aunt piped up from beside her.

She looked to her side and found her wise knowing eyes on her. Anne sucked in a breath. “Yes. But I’d rather not talk about it.”

“All in good time, dear.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year 2021 to you all :)


	3. Chapter 3

New Year’s Eve and the unrestrained partying well into the night that accompanied the date was a special occasion that many people looked forward to. On the space colony they lived on that in its entirety compared to about the size of England back on Earth, New Halifax was only a rather small district, and so most people used the high-speed trains and travelled outward in a matter of minutes to party in the bigger districts that had plenty of nightclubs that were filled to the brim with people looking for a good time until the early morning hours.

Anne wasn’t keen on the stuffy feeling of being stuck in a tight space with drunk sweaty strangers all around her – she’d done it a couple of times with Tib when she was younger, but it had lost its appeal a long time ago.

Of course a party like Eliza’s was an entirely different affair, and while it was certainly not the most exciting and rather stiff, Anne found she’d grown to appreciate attending her parties most years. There was a certain comfortable predictability about it that gave her comfort, like a sense of control, something she knew was there even if in other parts of her life – mostly women – she sometimes felt powerless and almost like she had to resign to some sort of cruel fate condemning her to loneliness.

Today, however, there was more to it for Anne. Trying as she might, she had not been able to get Ann out of her head, and by now her growing infatuation was hard to hide even from her own stubborn self that had mastered the art of looking away.

It would be a lie if she didn’t admit that she was excited for the party and seeing Ann – and whatever might happen after. She still felt a tingle run through her body at the thought of their brief encounter in her bathroom a few days ago, and how Ann had unravelled her so effortlessly. Good lord, she’d come so hard.

Anne licked her lips as she reached for her throat and made sure her red tie sat in place neatly. It looked rather dashing with her black suit and white shirt, she thought with a pleased smile. She couldn’t deny it, but she hoped her outfit would impress Ann, and maybe… maybe they would be able to sneak away and she could return the favour like she’d been meaning to at Shibden.

She let out a long breath thinking about how _good_ Ann had felt in the hotel, how much she craved being inside her, hearing those moans that went straight to her core as she fucked her.

Her watch beeped loudly, drawing her out of her thoughts. Only 5 minutes until her taxi would arrive if the driver wasn’t early. Her thoughts went back to Ann, wondering what she’d be wearing for the party, if she’d even be able to find her in the mass of people, and most importantly – if her family would be the usual pain in the ass they had proven to be.

Anne’s chest tightened at the thought, a good reminder that whatever her silly heart was hoping for was hopeless. Still, she couldn’t deny the attraction to the pretty blonde woman, and if nothing else Anne was sure they could have a good bit of fun together for a while longer until, doubtlessly, Ann would give in to her family’s pressure and be off and out of Anne’s world quicker than she could think. Always the way.

She shook herself out of the thought just in time to see the taxi park in front of their house outside. Anne rushed down, said her goodbyes to her aunt and sister who’d decided to stay home, and got in.

The drive to Eliza’s palace of a home wasn’t long, and soon the hovering car parked in front of the elaborate house. She held up her watch to the scanner to pay, gave the robot a small tip and moved towards the impressive building in all white – Eliza had a sense for style when it came to her home, Anne couldn’t deny her that. Even if it felt like a façade at times, looking proper and perfect on the outside but clearly the insides of Ann’s extended family weren’t nearly as perfect as the shiny shell pretended.

The smell of food, the noise of crowds of people chatting lightly all around her, and the busy atmosphere enveloped Anne straight away as she entered the hall and was greeted by one of Eliza’s staff. She let her invitation be scanned and made her way through the hall towards the crowds, looking around searchingly for familiar faces and one blonde in particular. No luck so far.

 _Don’t think about her so much._ She reigned herself in, setting her focus on the buffet for now and making her way towards it. She was here to have fun, right? Potentially meeting Ann was a bonus that could or could not happen. No pressure.

She’d just reached the vast selection of foods when a soft touch to her shoulder made her twitch, her heart skipping a beat in her chest. Was that…?

“Anne! You’ve ignored my messages.”

Whatever excitement had been accumulating in her system immediately fell to rock bottom. Anne slowly turned to face her ex-fiancée, her lips a thin line as she tried to control the anger starting to boil in the pit of her stomach.

“I have. I told you we’re done, Mariana.”

She sighed as if Anne was a petulant child she just needed to teach some manners, rolling her eyes before standing uncomfortably closer and rubbing over her shoulder. “Come on, Anne. We both know what it’s like…”

Mariana looked her up and down like a piece of meat – she knew she meant it to look sexy, but at this point it was anything but to her – running her tongue along her lip seductively.

“You look so beautiful tonight… all for me?”

Anne looked to the side, taking a moment to compose herself as her anger dared to overtake. She couldn’t afford to make a scene, nor did she want to. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she shook her head.

“No, Mariana. I told you this is it and I meant it.”

Every word came out with sharp determination as Anne focused on her ex-fiancée to finally get her to understand the message that no matter how hard she tried, this was over – it hurt, sure, but Anne understood that going back served only to hurt her more even if the familiarity and the false sense of security felt good for a short while… until Mariana got bored of her again and dropped her to the side once more for the cycle to repeat. She was done with that, her scars too deep.

Mariana reached for her arm, and Anne wasn’t sure what she was trying, but she firmly pulled away and shook her head. “I said no.”

Recognition slowly set in as Mariana’s eyes widened before taking her in and seeming to understand. She nodded slowly, stepping away.

“Well… if you change your mind, you know how to get in touch,” she mumbled, but it wasn’t as convinced and self-assured as Anne was used to. Maybe she’d finally get it this time around.

Anne let out a sigh, took a moment to compose herself and turned back to the buffet where a variety of foods was on offer. She was still amazed how far they’d come with the production of foods, knowing that now all ‘meat’ that was on offer was artificially produced without the need of killing.

She got herself some canapés and a flute of champagne before looking around the massive room to decide where to mingle. Finding no one she recognised, she went to a group of men who by the bits of conversation she overheard were working in the banking sector as well.

Anne found it easy to introduce herself and participate in the conversation of the gentlemen who – as she learned – worked in banks in nearby districts. Figuring growing her connections was never a bad move, she used her charm to get involved and soon everyone was sharing drinks together and talking about the joys and difficulties of their respective positions.

“Anne?”

Everything around Anne seemed to disappear as she recognised the soft voice calling out to her from nearby, and she immediately turned to find the one person she’d been wanting to see looking right back at her with insecurity in those blue orbs.

Oh, how she longed to kiss her. Anne excused herself to the group of gentlemen and stepped closer to Ann, taking her hand and softly kissing her knuckles as she kept eye contact.

She looked stunning in her flowing turquoise dress, and oh, her revealing cleavage gave Anne an excellent view as she glanced down. Ann smiled, a slight blush on her cheeks as they walked together.

“I’ve been looking for you.”

Anne nodded, looking around for anyone who might interrupt them. “So have I. We were so short on time the other day.” She smirked.

Ann looked away bashfully, nodding. “We were. Maybe we will have more luck with that later.”

Anne raised an eyebrow at the glimmer in Ann’s eyes as she let the words hang in the air. The older woman felt an ember of anticipation start to smoulder in her gut at the possibilities. Part of her wanted to grab Ann’s hand right then and sneak away with her.

Ann took her hand and squeezed, a small amused smile on her lips. Anne found herself chuckling, and they went upstairs to the less frequented parts of Eliza’s villa. It was as if Ann was guiding her to a particular place, and Anne just let herself be led, mesmerised by the woman in her company.

When they reached a rather secluded part of the never-ending rooms of the villa, Ann stopped to look outside the wide window to the gardens that were festively illuminated. Fireworks stood ready for the big moment, and Eliza’s staff could be seen moving back and forth in preparation.

“I… I’ve been meaning to speak to you.”

Ann turned to her, and Anne nodded patiently, but inside her heart raced.

“About… this.” Ann gestured between them.

“Oh-okay.” When had her voice become so weak?

Anne’s mind started running away with the possibilities without her consent, reminding her she’d seen this coming, she’d known this. Ann would tell her she needed to put a stop to this, it couldn’t go on-

“What are we?”

Those three words dragged Anne out of her thoughts in an instant. Well… that was a good question, wasn’t it? She rubbed the back of her neck before finding some sort of smooth answer within herself.

“Whatever you’d like us to be,” she replied with a half-smirk. She was wondering if Ann could hear the pounding of her heart that was betraying the all too cool response.

Ann frowned, nudging her shoulder with a bit more force than necessary. “Don’t be glib. I mean it, Anne.”

She bit her lip, glancing to the floor for a moment before her eyes shone with more determination again. “I- I don’t want to continue like this. I want more.”

 _I want more._ The words burned themselves into Anne’s mind and chest alike, and she kept mentally repeating them as if worried she’d heard her wrong and needed to make sure she wasn’t making a fool of herself here. Did Ann really mean…?

“I do.”

Ann reached for her hands, taking a deep breath as they seemed to gravitate towards one another. “But… do you want the same?”

A loud cheer by the crowd downstairs, followed by a series of bangs as the first wave of fireworks was shot into the atmosphere could be heard. Anne looked at the angelic being in front of her wide-eyed, the colours of the fireworks reflecting in the windows next to them.

Her heart filled with a sudden urge to hold her, kiss her, to make this leap of faith no matter how stupid that was. Anne wrapped her arms around her, hovering close to her face.

“I do. I want this,” she whispered before bringing their lips together.

She had no idea how much time had passed when they parted, smiling at each other. In that moment, she felt only lightness in her heart as she looked deeply into those stunning eyes.

“Happy New Year, Anne.”

They kissed again before turning towards the windows to watch the fireworks as they illuminated the dark sky with all colours of the spectrum.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Oh, I can think of more beautiful sights.”

Anne glanced at her, biting her lip playfully as Ann’s cheeks reddened immediately. Ann turned to her, a moment of silence passing between them before she reached for Anne’s tie and pulled her in to kiss her passionately. Anne groaned, holding her close as Ann nipped at her jawline.

“Let’s sneak out of here,” she whispered into her ear.

They were down the stairs within moments, smiling at each other like a couple of teenagers doing something they aren’t supposed to – and in a way it was true as they looked around trying to avoid anyone who might spot them and slow them down on their escape.

Anne’s heart nearly stopped when they bumped into someone on their way out, but then the woman apologised politely, and they were on their way again. She followed Ann blindly as she led the way out via a side entrance. They ended up in the gardens, and Ann rubbed her arms as the cold air enveloped them.

“No coat?” Anne asked as she took off her suit jacket and put it over Ann’s shoulders – the déjà vu of the situation made her smile fondly.

“I didn’t want to make a detour to get it. Besides, I always have one as long as you’re with me.” She grinned.

“Ah, and I have to freeze, hm?” Anne chuckled as Ann hummed as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

The taxi they called was there within no longer than two minutes. They exchanged a look when Ann leaned forward and told the driver where they’d be going. Anne smiled widely. What a start to the new year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not entirely sure how happy I am with this chapter, but staring at it any longer wouldn't have helped either. So here it is, hope you enjoyed :) I'll try to have the next one up relatively soon too!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is no plot in this chapter :)

The drive was short, and still Anne found herself nervously bouncing her leg by the time the taxi stopped at Shibden. Maybe it was the excitement that this is where Ann wanted to spend the night, maybe it was the way she’d been busying herself most of the brief drive running her fingertips over Anne’s thigh in a way that could only be described as maddening.

She rushed to pay the driver before taking Ann’s hand as they grinned at each other and hurried to the door. The lights were off when they stepped inside, so Anne knew her family had gone to bed already.

The moment she’d stepped out of her shoes Ann was on her, pressing impatient kisses to her lips. Anne took her jacket from her shoulders, her eyes wild as Ann licked her lips and threw her arms around her neck to kiss her again, her tongue sliding against hers.

Her own patience was starting to run thin; the anticipation that had been steadily growing all night, the way Ann had further riled her up during the drive and her eagerness had been more than enough to grow the fire in Anne’s body into an untameable inferno.

She reached under Ann and lifted her up with ease, her dress riding up revealing the smooth skin of her legs as they wrapped around Anne immediately and she steered them towards the stairs and up, groaning when hungry lips kissed and licked her neck and ear.

Anne had no idea how they made it to her bedroom without her completely losing her composure and taking Ann right in the hallway. She kicked the door shut behind herself, growling when she set Ann down on the bed and crawled on top of her.

They kept eye contact as Ann laid her hands on her chest and shaky fingers fiddled to unbutton Anne’s shirt. The older woman reached up to loosen her tie, but Ann gently pulled her hands away.

“Keep it on,” she whispered, before popping open the last button on her shirt. “But take everything else off.”

Anne’s core throbbed at the softly spoken commands. She shucked her shirt and bra while Ann kicked off her heels and kneeled, turning her back to her expectantly. She shook her head at herself, was this the real Anne Lister following Ann’s every command like this?

She pulled down the zip of her dress, smirking as she reached around to cup her breasts and felt Ann shudder against her.

“You have some guts ordering me around in my own bedroom,” she husked next to her ear. Her fingers lightly pinched Ann’s nipples through the dress, feeling her press back her ass into her crotch.

Anne felt the heat between her legs grow to nearly uncomfortable levels. Impatiently, she tugged at Ann’s dress. “Take this off. Now.”

Ann looked over her shoulder into her darkened eyes, and the way Anne stared at her like she was going to eat her whole. The dress was off in moments, followed by her bra.

It was like two forces colliding when they got their hands and lips back on each other, and Anne made a point of grabbing Ann’s wrists and pulling them away from where they were fiddling with her belt, their gazes meeting before she guided her on her back, holding those wrists securely in place above her head.

Ann writhed against her, both moving away from and back into her, but her hips pressing urgently against Anne spoke a clear language as the older woman kissed slowly, languidly along her collarbones.

“Anne…”

Anne hummed contentedly against her skin, smiling when Ann’s soft face contorted in frustration. “Come on.”

Anne stopped, looked up at her as if in thought. Then she slowly let go of her wrists and took a nipple in her mouth and sucked while never once taking her eyes off her. Ann moaned, using her regained freedom to tangle her fingers in Anne’s mane.

She considered drawing this out longer, making Ann beg for it. But when their gazes met and Ann pressed her hips upwards again, Anne felt she didn’t have the willpower for it – not tonight, not now.

Leaving a trail of wet kisses, she found her way lower, delighting at the obvious wet patch at the ruined white lace that passed for underwear before. She pressed a kiss against the damp fabric and teasingly let her tongue flick out against the hard nub underneath. The grip in her hair tightened immediately.

Anne slid the panties down her legs and threw them to the side before hooking her arms around her thighs to pull her close. The musky scent of Ann’s arousal was all around her, clouding her thoughts in the most pleasant way. She leaned in, softly, almost teasingly placing a kiss to her clit.

Ann let out a sigh, and when Anne looked up she found she’d closed her eyes and her body was tense in anticipation for her next move. She looked beautiful, Anne found herself thinking as her eyes tried to take in every detail of her at once, tried to memorise the little freckles and the places her soft skin had birth marks. There was no doubt: Ann Walker sprawled naked in her messy bed was art she wished she could draw into a picture to immortalise this moment.

She gazed back up to find now open blue eyes locked onto hers. The silence in the room felt smothering as much as there was a quiet understanding, a closeness between them that sought to drive away whatever fear Anne had and replace it with a warmth ready to envelop her.

Swallowing, she drew her eyes away from Ann’s and focused back on what she was good at. The sharp gasp when she made a move and flicked her tongue against Ann’s clit blew away any thoughts of what had just happened in a heartbeat.

She took her time to explore her most intimate area, licking and sucking in slow methodical patterns no matter how much Ann tried to buck her hips against the firm grip of her hands. Anne let her tongue draw maddeningly slow patterns everywhere but where she was needed before diving in suddenly and focusing all her attention on her clit all at once.

“Anne…”

Ann moaned loudly, gripping the sheets tightly as she tried to grind against Anne’s face. Anne doubled her efforts, and when she sucked and let her tongue flick against her nub, Ann cried out, hands suddenly burying in Anne’s hair and keeping her right where she was. The muscles in her legs started twitching and shaking as Anne’s tongue did its magic with relentless precision.

Anne guided her through her peak, taking a proud look at the mess of a woman recovering with heavy breaths in her bed when she pulled away. Kneeling next to her, she felt her own arousal pool between her legs.

Maybe it was out of habit, maybe she just couldn’t wait; either way, Anne’s hands wandered to her belt of their own accord, impatiently dipping into her soaked boxers as she took in the beautiful blonde in her bed. She moaned softly at the first touch to her clit, and Ann opened her eyes, glancing down immediately to what she was doing.

She watched for a moment as if considering whether she wanted to interrupt Anne or enjoy the show, but then she sat up, placing a soft kiss to her cheek.

“You’re so turned on, aren’t you?” she whispered next to her ear.

Anne groaned, stroking herself faster as she nodded eagerly, her eyes slipping closed. She’d found a good spot, only a little more, a little faster and-

Ann pulled at her tie, gently enough not to hurt but hard enough to get her attention as her eyes shot open. Ann’s face was so close, her eyes dark with desire. Anne mirrored the gaze.

“I could help you, you know,” Ann breathed, “you don’t have to do it yourself.”

There was a softness as she spoke, her features softening as she reached inside her boxers and covered her hand with her own in what little space there was. Then she licked her lips, tilting her chin forward.

Anne was powerless to resist her; she caught her lips with her own, surrendering to the gorgeous blonde as she pulled away her own hand from her underwear. The first touch to her clit was electric, so much better than her own. Ann found that perfect spot, circling it meticulously. All Anne could do was hold onto her shoulders as she approached her climax with speed.

She buried her head in her neck, gasping at a particularly intense stroke.

“Come for me, Anne.”

She couldn’t have denied her if she’d tried. Anne saw stars as she came, pressing against Ann as she shuddered and bucked her hips. With a final broken moan she slumped against her. Somewhere in the distance of her consciousness she felt a series of kisses against her shoulder. She hummed contentedly as her frantic heartbeat started slowing.

Moving away from their embrace, she found her girlfriend smiling at her. Her girlfriend. Did she just think that? Her chest warmed at the thought. This is what they were now, right?

The affection in those blue eyes made it impossible to overthink this like she was prone to. She could only reach out and wrap her arms around her waist to pull her in and kiss those soft lips that she was growing to enjoy more each time.

Ann moaned softly as their breasts pressed together and their kiss soon became heated. Anne kneaded her perfect ass, groaning when Ann impatiently tugged at her still loosely open pants. This girl had an appetite to match her own.

Dilated pupils met her own, and she swallowed hard at the intense gaze. Anne kissed her briefly, heatedly, letting her hands slide over her chest and her hardened nipples.

“Lie down,” she commanded, pleased when Ann immediately moved.

She watched her lie down as she hurriedly rid herself of her remaining clothes and went to her drawer. She felt rather than saw Ann’s gaze on her as she took out her strap and immediately fumbled to get the harness in place.

Anne turned fully to her when she put the strap in place, tugging to make sure it was set right for it to work. She gasped when her hand accidentally brushed her shaft and the sensation sparked electricity in her body. _All in working order._

Stepping close to the edge of the bed, she looked at Ann ready and waiting for her. Letting her gaze wander over her curves, she felt her anticipation grow. She climbed back on the bed, meeting Ann’s gaze that was full of desire to match her own.

“Get on your front,” she husked with an underlying authority in her tone.

Watching the beautiful woman bite her lip and quickly shift to get into position made Anne’s blood boil with want. Seeing her open her legs as she got in position behind her, she appreciatively ran her fingertips over her round ass before grabbing the lube and coating her shaft generously.

Ann tensed, pressing backwards as she ran her cock through the inviting warmth of her folds.

“You’re so wet.”

Closing her eyes, Anne took in the sensation as Ann impatiently squirmed against her.

“Please…”

Anne stopped, pulling back slightly to line her cock up with her entrance. A smirk tugged at her lips. “Please what?”

Ann groaned, pushing back to try and slide the tip inside but failing. Anne moved her hand to her hip to keep her still, squeezing her just hard enough to get the message across.

“Ask for it.”

Anne moved her hips forward just the tiniest fraction so the tip pressed inside, making both of them gasp. “Tell me what you need.”

Ann gripped the sheets tightly as she exhaled shakily. Anne was feeling it too, the pent-up hunger, the increasingly hard to control need for Ann. But she kept herself in check for now.

“Please… fuck me, Anne.”

Anne growled as the words travelled straight to her heated core and she leaned forward to push inside Ann with ease.

She moaned as Anne filled her all the way, and the older woman gave them both a moment to get used to the feeling as she sighed. _Fuck._

Gripping her hips, she started long and deep thrusts. The feeling of Ann’s clutching heat around her was nearly too much to bear, and they’d only just started.

“Fuck…”

“You feel so good…”

Feeling Ann push back into her thrusts, she moved faster, reaching around with her hand to find her clit.

Ann cried out at the first touch, and Anne was pushed dangerously close to her own peak right then when her walls gripped her cock tightly. She kept pounding into her, driven by the filthy symphony of their moans, the sound of their skin meeting and the telling creak of her bed whenever she filled Ann with her entire length.

“You’re close, aren’t you?” she gasped when Ann’s core started convulsing around her.

Ann could only nod against the pillow as Anne continued fucking her. She tensed, a long moan slipping past her lips as Anne pushed her over the edge of her release and a fresh flood of wetness met her.

She continued her fast shallow thrusts, holding onto Ann with a vice grip as the wave of her own climax washed over her and everything went blank. With a groan she collapsed on top of Ann who mumbled something she didn’t have the capacity to pick up through the intensity of it all.

It was silent save for their laboured breathing for a few moments before Anne placed a single kiss to her back and moved off her to lie on her back next to Ann with a contented sigh.

Ann turned to face her with a sleepy smile.

“That was amazing,” both said at the same time.

They laughed, and Anne shook her head at the situation. A feeling of intense gratitude washed over her as she looked at Ann. Maybe she’d gotten lucky for once? She barely dared hoping it, but in the post-orgasm bliss she could only smile and feel happy.

“Shall we go to sleep?” Ann reached up to loosen her tie and throw it to the side before she clumsily tugged at the harness to get it off, and Anne chuckled as she helped her, slipped it off and put it aside with the strap.

“Sure, let me just go clean this-“ She sat up to go, but Ann put a hand over her arm.

“No, leave it for tomorrow.”

Soft eyes met her own, and Anne lay back down without a word of protest. She could really not be expected to resist this angelic being, could she? 

Ann hummed contentedly and wrapped her arm around her middle, cuddling close as if she’d never done anything else in her life. Was this her future? Anne found a deep peace take a hold of her at the thought, a smile growing on her lips as she pulled the duvet over them and made sure Ann was all wrapped up in the cosy fabric.


	5. Chapter 5

It was still dark outside when Anne woke up, groaning when she sat up and stretched. She looked over in the dimly lighted room to find Ann curled up and still soundly asleep, smiling when the events of last night came back to her.

She got up to go to her adjoined bathroom, grabbing the strap on her way to clean it. When she was done, she looked herself over in the mirror, frowning slightly at her messy hair. She put it in place before sneaking back into the bedroom. Her watch showed her it was only 7am, and while Anne was always one to rise early – usually earlier than this – she couldn’t deny the temptation to get back in that cosy bed with Ann was strong.

And it was New Year’s Day, not like she had anything else to do. She lifted the duvet and got in, cuddling close to Ann from behind and wrapping her arms around her middle. Before long she drifted off into a soft slumber.

****

Ann groaned as she was rudely awoken by the distinct blaring sound of the typical phone ringtone – it wasn’t hers for sure, she would never set one of these horrible standard ones, and besides, she’d left her phone in her coat at the party anyway.

Anne shifted behind her. “It’s Eliza,” she said groggily.

Ann forced her eyes open and turned to face Anne who held up her watch where it clearly read Eliza Priestley. Ann frowned, why would Eliza call at… whatever hour it was, it was too soon.

“Wonder what she wants,” Anne said. “Should we find out?” Her lips curled into a slight smirk as she looked at Ann.

_No way._ Ann was not in the mood to have the headache-inducing sound of Eliza’s voice ruin her morning. She leaned over, pulling Anne over her as they both giggled and she reached for Anne’s wrist to press the mute button.

“Whatever she wants, it can wait.”

Anne grinned, kissing her softly as Ann wrapped her arms around her and kept her close in the warm cocoon of their bed. They kissed lazily for a bit longer, hands exploring without any goal, legs sliding against one another. Ann couldn’t remember when she’d last had such a good morning.

She was still coming to terms with the fact that Anne had agreed that they would take the next step, that she’d be more than just another woman on the long list of Anne Lister’s conquests. Her heart leapt in her chest at the thought, and she smiled widely at Anne when their lips parted and the older woman cupped her cheek.

“You’re beautiful,” Anne said softly.

Ann looked away bashfully at the sincerity in her brown eyes. When had someone told her this last and meant it? Truly meant it, like Anne did?

She bit her lip, looking back to find Anne’s gaze still on her. There was so much depth to those beautiful eyes, to Anne herself, and Ann was quickly learning by the way she sometimes seemed so careful, the way she guarded herself, that Anne must’ve been hurt in the past.

Kissing her, Ann vowed to herself to try her best to do right by her, to give her the affection she deserved that had been waiting to be released for years and years without a chance – until now.

All the possibilities swirled in her mind as their kiss grew more passionate – she wanted to go on dates with Anne, wanted to wake up together often like they did this morning, wanted to be able to proudly call herself her girlfriend-

_Oh._ What about that actually? They’d spoken about wanting ‘more’, but where exactly did they stand now?

The moment Anne’s tongue asked for entry and her leg slipped higher up where it had been resting between Ann’s, she knew she had to bring this up quick before her mind was shut down by her growing desire.

It took all her willpower to pull away from Anne’s soft lips. She received a puzzled look, but smiled.

“Before I lose my ability to think, I wanted to ask you something.” Ann blushed slightly at the smirk she received in return before Anne nodded, moving to lie next to her and face her with all her attention.

“What is it?”

Ann turned on her side, taking Anne’s hand.

“We’ve- we’ve only spoken about this briefly last night,” she started, running her thumb over Anne’s skin, “but I was wondering… does that mean – what we said, I mean – does that mean we’re dating now?”

She bit her lip, shaking her head at her own nervousness and insecurity rising so obviously. Anne must think her an idiot, and she felt silly for asking the question too, for coming across so _eager_ when really she should just go with it and not question so much, right?

Anne nodded, running her tongue along her lip. “I’ve been asking myself that.”

She shifted closer, looking right into Ann’s eyes. “I meant what I said last night, I want to be more than what we’ve been doing. To me, that means we are dating, yes.”

She smiled, not in her usual confident way but a softer, almost a bit unsure smile as if she was worried what Ann would say next.

But there was really nothing to worry about, for either of them. Ann felt whatever heaviness this question had caused drop off her shoulders, making her feel lighter and drawing the broadest smile on her lips.

“Good. Because I’m really fond of you,” she breathed.

Anne wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close, kissing her softly. Ann hummed contentedly, still not quite believing her luck but just going with it. Somewhere in the back of her mind she was aware this would be difficult to handle because of her family, but she had a right to be happy too, didn’t she?

Anne’s hand wandered down to cup her behind, and Ann moaned despite herself. Anne snuck her tongue past her lips in that moment. The air seemed charged with tension as Ann pressed against her, running a hand over her chest and finding a hardened nipple.

Anne could only gasp, eyes closed as Ann eagerly kissed her exposed neck. Then hands wrapped around her, catching her off guard when Anne rolled on her back and brought Ann with her, smirking at the momentarily surprised look on her face.

“You’re too smug.”

“What are you gonna do about it?”

_I can think of a few things._ Ann balanced herself on top of her, reaching for Anne’s hands and leading them up to her chest with an almost innocent look on her face. She pressed into her touch, closing her eyes when Anne growled lowly and started kneading her breasts.

Ann started grinding into her lap, feeling her wetness pool between her legs with every ongoing second of this sweet, sweet torture. She needed more, yet she was also stuck in this bliss of anticipation and Anne’s touch, Anne’s attention and the intense gaze on her. Ann returned the look with equal heat.

She bit her lip when Anne slid one hand between her legs, warmth spreading throughout her body when her fingers slid over her clit. Anne gripped her hip and pulled her closer. Ann followed her lead as she slowly lowered herself onto her digits, her skin tingling as a wave of pleasure rolled through her at the stretch.

With what little experience she’d had before Anne, Ann knew she’d been clumsy when they’d last had sex in this position, but she already felt more comfortable this time getting into a steady rhythm as she held tightly onto her lover’s shoulders and moved atop her.

Anne encouraged her gently, her free hand stabilising her as Ann went through the motions; rising, feeling the withdrawal of Anne’s fingers, then letting herself down on them with a breathy moan to be filled again. She felt Anne’s gaze on her, meeting those deep brown eyes that she could lose herself in so easily. Her chest expanded with warmth, her body nearly thrown out of its rhythm at the handsome woman she was somehow lucky enough to be in bed with.

“I could watch you all day.”

Ann was sure she’d lost all sense of speaking before, but it was only clearer now as she could only nod with the intensity of the situation. She rode Anne harder, moaning as she felt her climax looming on the horizon.

“You’re so hot. I want you to come for me…”

Ann dug her nails into her shoulders, gasping loudly when Anne’s hand brushed against her clit.

Everything froze when a knock could be heard on Anne’s door. Their heads snapped to the source of the sound as it was followed by another impatient knock.

“What is it?” Anne called, the frown clear even through her voice.

There was a muffled groan outside. “I see you’re in a fantastic mood. We were wondering when you’d be down for breakfast, it’s unlike you to still be in bed at this hour.”

Ann looked at Anne, her brow furrowing with worry as a thousand thoughts went through her head. Her having breakfast with the Listers, would Anne want that? Would they want that? Would they dislike having her around like this?

Anne kissed her cheek, slightly wiggling the fingers that were still buried deep inside Ann as she grinned. Ann bit her lip to hold back the moan in the back of her throat. She was so worked up, and somehow the fact that they could easily be found out if she didn’t stay quiet only made her hotter.

“I’ll be down in 30. And Marian, tell Cordingley to set the table for another person. We have a guest.”

“What?”

“You heard me, Marian.”

Another groan from the other side of the door. “You’re impossible, absolutely ridiculous!”

She could be heard storming off, and Anne found herself raising an eyebrow at Ann amusedly before breaking into a chuckle. Ann found it contagious, the ridiculousness of the situation, everything. She joined her laughter, and it took them both a few moments before calming down.

Anne placed a lingering kiss to her mouth, smiling before starting to move her fingers slowly. “I’m not done with you yet.”

Ann could do nothing to hold back the moans and gasps spilling from her as she ground against her and her walls soon started to contract around Anne as her orgasm took over. She cried out a final time before slumping against her sturdy frame. Her body felt electrified and worn out in equal measures, and she smiled contentedly as arms wrapped around her when she rested her head against Anne’s strong shoulder.

Anne rubbed her back. “We should be getting ready for breakfast.”

Ann nodded against her, forcing herself to move away from the embrace. They smiled at each other as she slid off Anne.

Gentlemanly as she was, Anne let Ann use what little time they had to shower. When she stepped out of the warm stream, though, she quickly noticed that she only had her dress to wear and that would likely look a little out of place at the Lister’s table. After looking through her dressers for something appropriate, Anne handed her a fresh pair of her boxers, pants, shirt and a sweater for the cold day ahead. It was all a size too big for her but it would do.

Ann didn’t miss Anne’s watchful eye on her when she put on her underwear. She filed the thought away for later – she couldn’t deny that wearing Anne’s boxers made her feel powerful in a sense, and a quick look to the mirror confirmed that she looked pretty good in them too. And the way Anne stared at her made her want to drag her straight back to bed.

That, and Anne looked devilishly handsome herself in those tight black jeans and grey sweatshirt.

They eventually left Anne’s room to go downstairs, and with every step they took, Ann felt her heartbeat pound faster against her ribcage as the nervousness from earlier returned. She knew rationally that there was nothing to be afraid of – the Listers knew her, liked her from what she could tell, and surely it wasn’t the first time Anne had brought down a surprise guest for breakfast.

Yet she still swallowed thickly as she heard them talking at the table nearby before they rounded the corner and saw Marian and Aunt Anne waiting for them. Her thoughts briefly went to the late Captain Lister who’d passed not all that long ago from what she’d heard – she wondered how Anne felt about that.

Marian’s eyebrows went up in surprise as all eyes were on Ann, whereas Aunt Anne only smiled kindly at her as she waved them over.

“Good morning, Miss Walker… Anne.”

Anne moved over straight away to give her aunt a hug, nodding at Marian before holding out the chair for Ann to sit down. She couldn’t stop herself from blushing in this situation with all eyes on her – all that attention, and for once she wasn’t getting it because she did something wrong or because she was scolded for being ‘useless’. And Anne being such a gentleman with her was charming and made her feel valued.

Still, even with all the delicious food on offer Ann found it hard to eat in this situation that made her shift around nervously in her seat. Ann didn’t talk too much during their meal unless asked, but Marian and Aunt Anne were kind with her, were asking her questions and really weren’t any different than she was used to from before.

Yet Ann still worried what they might think of her and Anne. Anne seemed to notice, gently squeezing her hand and smiling at her.

“Are you two doing anything together today?” Aunt Anne enquired, directed more at Ann than Anne.

Ann found herself looking to her right where Anne was sitting, a helpless expression on her face. They hadn’t talked about that yet, and really, Ann needed to probably go home sooner rather than later and get in touch with her ever-nosy side of the family.

“We haven’t made any plans yet, aunt,” Anne replied for her, and Ann who knew she would’ve likely just been a stuttering mess without a proper response just wanted to kiss her right then.

She smiled gratefully instead, knowing she would not have the courage to kiss Anne in front of her family right now.

“Well, if you want to be around for dinner, you’re welcome to join us, Miss Walker.”

“Thank you. I appreciate the offer.”

The rest of the meal went by rather quietly before everyone retreated. Ann followed Anne back upstairs, about to ask her about the day when that shrill ringtone she now knew was Anne’s rang again.

“Should I pick up this time? It’s your favourite family member.” Anne grinned.

Ann felt like anything but grinning, her stomach sinking low at the thought of trying to explain to Eliza what she’d been doing without telling her the truth and getting herself in trouble. She still had to do that later, but for now Anne needed to take this call and lie for her.

She looked to Anne helplessly before taking a deep breath in preparation. There was only so much dodging they could do with Eliza.

“Speak to her, but you have to make something up. She can’t know I’ve been here, it makes everything difficult.”

Anne nodded slowly, and Ann wondered if she truly understood the situation they were in. Did Ann herself understand? She wasn’t sure. She knew she wanted Anne, always had, but she hadn’t actually ever considered she would get there. Her mind had been blown after their night at the hotel, but even then Ann hadn’t really thought she’d ever get further than that. Now here she was with a homophobic controlling family and no plan.

“Eliza, good morning. What can I do for you?”

Ann didn’t need to see Anne’s grin to hear it, and she hoped her charm would work on Eliza – and that she was a good liar, but she had a feeling Anne could be.

“Miss Lister. We didn’t run into each other last night, I hope you had a good evening, and happy new year!”

“We didn’t, a real shame.” Anne winked at Ann, who found herself grinning despite her nerves as she sat down on the edge of the bed. “Happy new year to you too. The fireworks, Eliza, they were simply wonderful.”

“Oh, they were, weren’t they? William has done such a good job organising it all.” Very good. Ann knew Eliza loved praise, and from the sound of her voice she appreciated that one.

“Now, Miss Lister, I was wondering… have you seen Ann? I was told you two left together, and I haven’t heard from her. She also left her coat. I’m a little concerned, you understand.”

_Concerned because you cannot control every second of my life._ In this moment, the part of Ann that was so sick of all of this, of years of her life being stolen from her family’s overbearing behaviour, wanted nothing more than to make herself known and tell her she could stick her concern where the sun didn’t shine. She swallowed hard – it was rare that Ann got this angry, but after the wonderful time she’d spent with Anne she just wanted to be free.

But also, Ann realised with fear setting in – who had seen them leave together?

Anne gave her a reassuring gaze. “That’s right, Eliza. We left together. Miss Walker and I took a brief New Year’s walk together and I brought her home safe. She mentioned she forgot her coat, but I lent her my jacket.”

“Ah, how very nice of you! I’m glad you took care of her. I’ll go over and bring her her coat in a bit.”

Ann’s eyes widened as panic set in. If Eliza got to her place before she did, she’d be in trouble. Anne sat down next to her, reassuringly rubbing her thigh.

“Oh, she was rather inebriated when we arrived – I even had to steady her. Maybe don’t wake the poor girl too early, Eliza.”

There was a moment of silence before Eliza hummed amusedly. “I see. Very well. It’s unlike her to drink so much, but it sounds like she had fun. Thank you for letting me know, and for taking care of Ann, Miss Lister. She’s a good girl, you know this, but she does need someone to look after her and guide her.”

_No._ Ann stiffened where she was sitting, but Anne smiled at her sympathetically as if to say, ‘let her talk’.

“Then I’m glad I could help. I’ll speak to you soon.”

Ann didn’t quite know how to feel when Anne pressed the button on her watch and the call ended. She was thankful, incredibly so, that Anne was an amazing liar and saved her from trouble there, but she also found herself worrying how they would handle this obvious problem when they were going to see each other more often – if Anne even still wanted to. Her family breathing down her neck wasn’t exactly appealing.

She looked up at her, and as if reading her thoughts, Anne leaned forward and kissed her forehead softly. “Don’t worry about her.”

Ann closed her eyes, wanting to lose herself in Anne’s soft lips, in her warm embrace as she wrapped her arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. But her nagging thoughts didn’t quite let her.

“I wish I could. But she- they are always like this, and- and I just don’t know what to do.”

Ann moved to look at Anne, and for a moment it seemed like there was conflict going on inside her too with the way her brow furrowed in concentration and she bit her lip gently.

But then her face cleared and brown eyes found hers. “Then we’ll fool them a little while we figure something out. Alright?”

Was this real? How was Anne so understanding with her? The same Anne who also had the eyes of someone who had loved deeply but had been burned along the way. Ann considered herself immensely lucky that this woman somehow decided to accept her and give her a shot despite this situation. Was even willing to lie for her like it was nothing.

She captured Anne’s lips, wanting to make sure if not with the words she currently lacked, then with her body how grateful she was for this. And Anne seemed to understand, smiling into their kiss and holding her close.

“Do you think you can make dinner later? We’d like to have you.”

Ann nodded with a smile. “I’ll figure something out.”

Ann wrote down her number for Anne to be able to contact her before she left for Crow Nest so Eliza wouldn’t find out about their little lie when coming round.

****

Anne found herself thinking when she stepped under the warm stream of her shower and closed her eyes. She’d been aware Ann’s family wasn’t exactly easy, but the tendrils of doubt started slithering into her system anew when she replayed the situation with Eliza earlier.

Oh, Anne had had no trouble lying for Ann – she was practised from years of avoiding husbands, sneaking out of uncomfortable situations and improvising believable statements frequently to save them from being found out. The situation with Ann felt eerily familiar in that regard, something she’d sworn to herself she did not have the heart to get entangled in anymore.

_And still._ Here she was. The difference with Ann was simply put that she had made it clear with a deep sincerity in her eyes that – unlike so many before her – she didn’t just want Anne for her skilful hands and dexterous tongue. She wanted her for her big heart too.

That was worth going through some trouble for. If Ann didn’t turn her back on her, Anne’s doubt whispered in her ear as her thoughts went back to Mariana. She’d claimed to love her, and Anne had undoubtedly loved her too. And still Mariana didn’t commit to her.

But Anne was committed to this now. She couldn’t deny the blossoming feelings for Ann that went deeper than mere attraction. The way Ann’s smile lighted up her mood, how she was warm all over when holding her close and felt her absence immediately the moment she left the house. It was all there, slowly growing into something equally beautiful and terrifying. Anne could only hope this wasn’t a mistake. _I can’t take another heartbreak._


	6. Chapter 6

Ann had never been a good liar. At all. It had mostly never been a big issue, she preferred honesty anyway and stuck with that for the most part.

That was why she was all the more nervous when she came home, changed into her own clothes and hoped that her hungover act would be somewhat believable when Eliza came round. She nervously tapped the side of her couch as she waited around, her thoughts going from anxiety about their little lie being found out to doing a 180 and conjuring images of her amazing time with Anne. They reminded her that it was worth it.

The sound of the doorbell went through her entire body like lightning, making her twitch. She inhaled deeply, preparing herself when she heard Eliza’s cheerful voice coming closer as she talked to James.

“Thank you, James,” Ann said softly to her butler before he left them.

Eliza approached her as she rose, embracing her in one of those tight uncomfortable hugs. Ann wished it would end, awkwardly patting her back.

“How are you, dear? We didn’t hear from you and were worried.” She frowned, and Ann felt the silent judgement making her small as they sat down.

Eliza’s gaze was on her, and Ann could only look away as she hunched over and felt her heartbeat against her ribcage. Part of her just wanted to leave this room immediately, leave it all behind, pack her bags and hide in Anne’s arms until Eliza and the rest of her family couldn’t get under her skin anymore. But it wasn’t that simple, was it?

Ann looked back, licking her lip nervously. “I, uh… I’m doing better,” she replied with a small voice, hating herself for not being able to stand up for herself more, for feeling so weak under Eliza’s presence.

Eliza nodded, and the way she smiled eased some of the pressure. “Miss Lister told me you seemed to have quite a good time. I’m glad.”

There was a pause as James brought in tea and biscuits. It gave Ann a moment to calm herself. He left, and Eliza took a sip of her tea before her attention was back on Ann.

“You seem to be getting along well with Miss Lister.”

Ann could only smile weakly, her heartbeat picking up. Did Eliza suspect something…?

But then Eliza took her hand, squeezing it lightly. “It would do you good to become friends with her. She’s excellent company, and I think you could learn a thing or two from her.”

Ann wasn’t sure whether she should feel relief that Eliza only saw them as two women becoming friends, or annoyance that even when it came to this matter her cousin-in-law was dictating her what to do. Even if it would benefit her in this case.

She opened her mouth to reply, but Eliza continued.

“Just… do be vigilant with her. I hold her in high regard, as you must know, but Miss Lister has a bit of a,” she gestured in the air, looking for the word, “difficult reputation when it comes to women.”

_Well._ What should she say to that? Of course Ann had heard the rumours. “Oh, I- I’ve heard a thing or two.”

Her mind thought it was a good moment to conjure images of last night, Anne’s head between her legs, Anne deep inside her fucking her with the-

She looked away shyly as a blush rose on her face at the most inopportune time. Why did she have to think of this just now? And why was she such a terrible liar?

Eliza hummed thoughtfully. “I know. It isn’t the most comfortable topic to be discussing, but I wanted to remind you. I don’t doubt Miss Lister has the purest intentions when it comes to you – she’s known you since you were little – but please be vigilant regardless.”

Ann took a sip from her tea, working hard to erase the filthy images that kept trying to rise to the forefront of her thoughts. _Not now._

Eliza touched her shoulder. “There was something else I meant to bring up.”

Whatever it was, Ann wasn’t interested – she knew that much already.

“We thought it would be a good idea with the new year to help you leave behind the past and set out for new shores, so to speak,” Eliza announced happily.

_Uh-Oh._

Eliza touched her arm, and honestly Ann just wished she would stop doing that so often as she slightly leaned away from her. Not that Eliza would notice, she was too self-absorbed for that.

“We know it’s soon, Ann, but we worry that Richard’s death is going to leave you lonely. And you’ve always struggled with depression.”

Ann did not like where this was going at all, but she forced a polite smile as she nodded along.

“So we thought, why don’t you get to know someone new? There are a few wonderful gentlemen, and may I say handsome,” she suggestively raised an eyebrow at Ann at the note, “who have expressed their interest in getting to know you.”

Ann wasn’t sure if she wanted to rather scream and run or vomit. She was feeling sick at the thought for sure, an invisible rope tying around her body keeping her captive and stealing the air from her lungs. It was hard to breathe as unbidden images of her being married off _again_ against her will entered her mind. She felt trapped, helpless.

“I- I can’t,” she said with a shaky voice, nervously running her hand over her thigh. _Not again_ kept repeating in her head over and over, the voice of her thoughts frantic and-

Eliza took her hand to steady her, but it shook all the same. “I understand. It is soon, maybe too soon yet. I know you are still mourning.”

Ann nodded, tears leaking without her consent as her heart screamed for Anne to save her from this, to _be with her_. That’s what she wanted, not yet another husband and a loveless marriage.

Eliza, who had no clue what was going on inside her – she never did – wrapped an arm around her shoulder to comfort her, but the comfort Ann wanted and needed was a ten-minute walk away.

“Perhaps we should give it a little more time,” she said sweetly and rubbed Ann’s back soothingly. _Stop touching me._

“Let’s come back to this at a later date. I know it all seems gloomy and dark right now, but you will be able to move on from him, and things will look brighter. And you will see, Ann, that seeing someone new and getting settled with a good man who looks out for you and guides you will make you happy again.”

Ann shivered. She couldn’t take this anymore. It had already been unbearable to marry Richard, as nice and understanding as he’d been. They’d been getting along well enough, but still it had been painful for Ann to live a life she’d never wanted, had never asked for. His unexpected death had come as a relief, and Ann had naively thought she was free.

The same questions kept repeating in her head: What if the next one wasn’t so nice? What if he didn’t accept a no? What if-

_No._ This needed to stop, she couldn’t- she couldn’t take this anymore.

Ann freed herself from Eliza’s grasp, standing and looking at her with teary eyes. Her hands felt cold, her body barely complying with her as she tried to stand upright with weak knees.

“I- I can’t do this.”

Everything around her was hazy like in a fever dream as Ann rushed out of the room under Eliza’s wide-eyed gaze. She made it up the stairs into her bedroom and with a shaky voice commanded the AI to lock the door behind her.

Leaning against it, she closed her eyes. Her heavy breathing filled the silence of the room. _What could she do?_

Kind brown eyes appeared on her mind, immediately soothing the frantic pumping of her heart. _What would Anne do?_

****

Anne’s brow creased in a hopeless attempt to concentrate. The words on the screen seemed to blur the more she tried to force herself to stare at them and just _focus_.

Anne Lister having trouble concentrating on the one true love in her life, her work? Unheard of. But true. She sighed, standing and deciding not getting everything sorted and in order for work tomorrow was not _that bad._

Pacing her small office, she let her thoughts roam freely, and unsurprisingly they quickly went to the blonde who was slowly filling the empty space in her chest with every touch, word and smile.

Anne smiled too, thinking of this morning, and it only widened when she brought up her message history on her watch and re-read the little text from just an hour ago that confirmed Ann would come for dinner. She’d read that text far too often in the past fifty-eight minutes.

She nearly jumped when her watch vibrated in just that moment with another incoming text. From Ann. Anne’s heart leapt, only for whatever excitement there was to be damped immediately when she read it. Ann wanted to speak to her before dinner.

The feeling in her gut told her that it wasn’t exactly good news whatever she had to talk about. Anne quickly used the voice recognition to type a reply.

Her pacing turned into more of a march as her mind ran away with the possibilities. It wasn’t farfetched to assume this was about her family, and Anne already dreaded what Ann would have to say. Would this little episode end sooner than she thought? Had she been naïve to open the door to her heart for Ann?

Anne ran her fingers through her hair and shook her head. Ann had feelings for her, it was clear as day. And Anne trusted her to follow her heart. She tried to remind herself that that was important, and besides, maybe she didn’t even mean to speak about that. Though somehow Anne doubted that.

The time until Ann would arrive dragged on and on. Anne couldn’t focus on work, and her thoughts were in complete disarray. Her sister took the brunt of her souring mood when Cordingley asked about dinner and they couldn’t decide between dishes. The spicy fish stew was the _clearly_ superior choice, but of course Marian disagreed.

Eventually, Aunt Anne went between them and made a final decision – not the fish stew, but not Marian’s beef stroganoff either. Anne grabbed her coat and left for a walk after, not dealing with the tension and the walls seemingly coming closer anymore.

The cold crisp air helped, and even in this age where transportation was capable of getting anyone anywhere in a matter of minutes, Anne often enjoyed walking places, even if it took her longer. And it had the added benefit of it helping her clear her head in moments like this.

She let out a sigh as she walked the route to town, soon arriving at her favourite pub _The Grey Fox Inn._ How many nights she’d spent here drowning her sorrows after yet another argument with Mariana she’d stopped counting. The place had always served her well with its charming vintage setting with wood panels along the walls, dim lighting and candles at each table setting the atmosphere, rounded off with music from last century mixing in with more modern – but still old-fashioned – stuff from the 30s. The slick modern almost sterile design of many other places was nowhere to be found here.

The heavy door squeaked behind her as it fell closed. Anne smiled when her gaze fell on the old man behind the counter.

“Steve!”

The man looked up from where he was scrubbing the counter, a smile lighting up his features.

“Anne! Long time no see,” he called excitedly and waved her over with his left arm.

Anne noticed how fluid his movement was, remembering last time they spoke he had still been rather clumsy with his new prosthetic arm while getting used to controlling his movements with his brain. She had to ask him how that was going, it seemed good.

She smiled and sat, and within moments he put down the glass of whiskey in front of her and nodded. Already she was feeling much calmer.

They talked about this and that, and while Anne briefly hinted at a new woman in her life, she didn’t go into detail – she was here to wind down and not worry about that. Steve seemed to understand that and didn’t pry. Instead, they chatted mostly about his family and how he’d been getting on.

It was turning dark outside when she paid and left to be back in time for Ann to come round. Her heart felt lighter after her little chat with Steve. They’d known each other for years, and she reckoned that despite her best tries to play it cool he’d seen right through her and had done his best to cheer her up. Her thoughts went back to Ann when she stepped into her home. Maybe she could introduce them sometime, she had a feeling he’d like her.

Anne busied herself tidying up her room until she glanced out the window and spotted Ann approaching the house. She immediately rushed down the stairs, wiping the hands that were sweaty from both anticipation and uncertainty on her pants before opening the door just when Ann came to stand in front of it.

Their gazes met, and the momentary surprise on Ann’s face quickly gave way to the deep creases on her forehead, and the way her lip curved with sadness. Anne opened her mouth to speak but was cut short when Ann enveloped her in a tight hug and buried her head in her chest. She started sobbing, and all Anne could do was hold her and soothingly rub her back as she wondered what had happened, her heart breaking a little as she felt Ann cry against her.

She gently guided her inside and closed the door behind them, and for a bit they were just standing there like that. Anne was silently grateful that none of the staff or her family walked by as she held her tightly.

Ann slowly pulled away to look at her with reddened eyes and her cheeks wet from crying. Anne reached up and wiped away a tear with her thumb, looking at Ann in question.

She only shook her head, then grabbed Anne’s hand and led her up the stairs. Anne wasn’t sure how to feel – seeing Ann like this upset her too, and she made it her mission to make this beautiful young woman smile again tonight. On the other hand, worry took a hold of her as she wondered what – or who – caused Ann to cry so much.

The door closed, and Ann’s lips were on hers in a heartbeat, kissing her hard as she pressed Anne against the door. Anne groaned, responding to the passionate kiss but also needing a moment to realise what was going on as Ann’s hands slid over her chest and lower.

She slowly moved away from Ann’s insistent lips, cupping her cheek with one hand as the other gently pulled her hands away from her belt.

“Won’t you tell me what happened? You said you wanted to talk,” she said softly.

“I need you,” Ann whispered, almost sounding desperate. She glanced down at Anne’s lips, and she braced herself for another incoming kiss which didn’t come. Instead, tears started flowing again as Ann looked away with shame.

Anne put her arm around her, kissing her temple. “Come on, let’s sit down.”

She led her over to the bed and sat next to her, taking her hand and looking at her expectantly.

Ann stared at the floor as if preparing herself, then found her gaze again and nodded. “Eliza came round,” she started, swallowing thickly.

Anne nodded. Of course it was something about Eliza… What had she said to Ann? She rubbed over her small hand, patiently waiting for Ann to go on.

“S-she started talking about how it was time to move on f-from Richard,” Ann said with a weak voice, her hand grasping onto Anne’s tightly, “how lonely I am and that I need someone to look after me.”

Anne frowned. What was Eliza getting at? The way it sounded like she’d been talking to Ann like she was a clueless stupid girl who needed constant supervising was making her angry as she pressed her lips together tightly – as much as she wanted to say something, she wouldn’t interrupt Ann.

Ann licked her lips nervously and looked directly at her, her eyes wide, frantic even. “She said they’re going to set m-me up with men, Anne.”

Anne stared blankly for a moment as she tried to process the information. Only one word came to mind in response. _“What?”_

Ann shook her head, briefly closing her eyes as more tears leaked and her face distorted in pain. When she looked back, she looked empty.

“They think I need someone to look after me,” she repeated weakly, “to ‘guide’ me, as Eliza put it.”

“That’s- _no._ ” Anne reached forward, cupping Ann’s cheek and seeking eye contact. “You don’t believe this, do you?” Fear clutched at her heart as she looked for any sign that Ann was considering this nonsense.

Ann held Anne’s other hand tightly, shaking her head. “I-I don’t. B-but they… Eliza made it sound so final, I… I don’t know what to do.”

Ann was looking at her with desperation dimming the usually bright colour of her eyes, her gaze seeking help and protection. Anne leaned in, kissing her forehead softly, then her cheek. She felt unsteady too at this surprising news but forced herself to smile.

“We won’t let this happen, okay? Eliza cannot- they cannot treat you like a pawn they can move around on a chessboard like they please,” Anne said slowly, feeling her confidence make a return as her words ignited a spark of hope. She was Anne Lister, she’d managed to get out of difficult situations more than once – and she would not let this happen to Ann.

She frowned when another thought occurred to her. “Besides, isn’t it _very_ soon to be approaching you with this now? When you would still be mourning?”

Was Ann’s family really that cold and calculating in reaching their goals? Anne had never considered the possibility, but now it seemed plausible. _Disgusting._

Ann nodded, taking a deep breath as the hint of a smile appeared on her lips for the first time tonight. “Yes. I panicked when Eliza told me, and… and it convinced her that it was because I’m not over him yet and need more time.”

“Okay. That’s good, that’s good.” Anne rubbed over the knuckles of her hand, one by one, as that spark of hope grew brighter. They had time to find a solution. And she’d be damned if she didn’t find a way out of this for Ann – she deserved better than this. As long as Ann was fighting together with her, they’d be okay somehow.

Ann wiped her tears, her breathing slowing, though she still looked unsteady. “What do we do? I don’t want this.”

“Honestly, I don’t know yet. But we’ll figure something out together.” Anne wrapped her arm around her and pulled her against her chest, and Ann let out a sigh as she hugged her tightly.

“Okay?”

Ann looked up, nodding. “Okay.” She tilted her chin.

Both hummed when Anne captured her lips with hers, softly rubbing her back as they kissed.

“I feel so much stronger when I’m with you. On my own, I feel weak and like I can’t do anything against them.”

Anne pecked her lips. “You aren’t weak. A weak woman would bow down and never question all of this, even if it’s against her wishes.”

Ann looked away as her cheeks reddened slightly. “Oh, I-“

Anne held her chin and gently made her look back at her. “But you aren’t like that. There’s a rebel in there, I can tell.”

She smiled, feeling her stomach somersault when Ann smiled back like Anne was her entire world, the light returning to those beautiful blue eyes. Anne couldn’t recall when someone had looked at her like that last. Leaning forward, she kissed those soft lips again, feeling Ann wrap her arms around her and hold her as close as possible.

Only a soft knock on the door interrupted them, and Ann twitched as they pulled away as if someone had caught them doing something illegal.

“Miss Lister? Dinner is ready, ma’am.”

“Thank you, Cordingley. We’ll be down in a moment.”

Anne’s gaze fell back to the stunning blonde next to her as she raised an eyebrow. “Shall we? A good man once told me it’s impossible to be upset with a full belly.”

Ann chuckled, pecking Anne’s lips before a thought seemed to occur to her. “Do I look okay?” She stood, rubbing her eyes.

Anne gave her a good look. Her eyes were a little puffy – it certainly wasn’t bad, but also not ideal; Ann surely wouldn’t want to be seen by her family like that. She led her over to the bathroom and after giving her face a good wash, Ann looked better already. Unfortunately, Anne had stopped wearing make-up years ago and had none to offer for her to cover it up a little. She reassured her instead that it was alright and they would likely not notice.

Dinner was delicious. Maybe Aunt Anne’s decision for them to have shepherd’s pie wasn’t so bad – not that Anne would admit it out loud. Similar to breakfast, Ann was rather quiet and shy with her family, but they involved her in conversation and made an effort, which Anne was happy about.

She’d known Ann wasn’t one to easily strike up conversations and draw everyone in with her self-confident, charismatic ways – unlike Anne herself – but she’d noticed that she was even shyer now than she’d been at lunch with the Priestley’s before. She wondered why that was.

“So, how is it with you two? Are you just playing around again, Anne, or is Ann your girlf-“

“Marian,” Anne warned, and noticed out of the corner of her eye that their aunt was giving her a stern look as well.

Marian held up her hands in defence. “I was just asking. It is a valid question.”

Looking to her side, Anne noticed that Ann had turned a shade of pink next to her and seemed to sink into her seat with embarrassment. _Ah._ Perhaps she’d found the reason for her shyness. She gave Ann a kind smile before turning back to her annoying sister.

“We are seeing each other. That is all you need to know, Marian.”

Anne sat up straight, puffing out her chest and looking right at her with a look that she knew told her sister to take the next thing she was going to say _very_ seriously. “And I’d appreciate it if you didn’t go round and told half the town about it.”

“Alright, alright. Calm down.” Marian shook her head in disbelief. “I wasn’t going to.”

“We all know that’s not true,” Aunt Anne piped up with an amused smile. It got a laugh out of Ann, the sound music to Anne’s ears. It was contagious, and soon everyone joined in.

They were in a cheerful mood after they’d finished desert and Cordingley removed the plates. Anne took a sip of her red wine when Ann leaned close and put a hand high up her thigh.

“Bed me,” she whispered with a sultry undertone, her hand moving up Anne’s thigh.

She nearly choked on her wine, putting down the glass. Trying to breathe, she started coughing.

“Everything alright, dear?”

Anne nodded in the direction of her aunt, her eyes tearing up as she recovered. Her throat felt scratchy. A glance over to her side confirmed that Ann was currently biting her lip in a terrible attempt to keep from laughing. That little devil.

She reached for her glass again, finishing what was left as her eyes intently stayed on the blonde next to her, a clear message in her calculated gaze. Ann’s face fell and suddenly it looked like she was biting her lip for an entirely different reason.

Anne raised an eyebrow at her as she put the empty glass down on the table and calmly leaned back in her chair for a moment, took her sweet time removing her napkin from her thigh, folding it neatly and placing it on the table as if making an art out of the process.

Glancing over, she found Ann staring holes into her. A smirk tugged at the corner of her lips.

“Aunt, Marian, we’ll head up for the night.”

Everyone said their goodnights, and it was Anne who had to stop herself from chuckling when a rather flustered Ann nearly stumbled over her words before they left the room. Oh, she had considered sticking around a little longer and casually making conversation with her family just to torture Ann, but really, she’d be a liar if she denied she wasn’t feeling the sparks in the air, the thick tension between them that seemed to skyrocket with every step they took up the stairs and closer to the privacy they needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do we think? :)
> 
> So, I didn't plan for it here, but these two seem to always end up in bed with each other somehow :D I don't want to overload this story with (potentially) too much smut though, so here's my question for you: write it out this time or just leave it and move on with the plot straight away?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a bit longer :) Hope you enjoy.

The moment they were alone, their bodies clashed like two forces being drawn together by a magnet. Really, if Anne thought about it, this was generally how it felt since they met at Christopher’s party; she was drawn to Ann by an invisible power that seemed as strong as gravity itself. It was impossible to resist – not that Anne wanted to.

She’d certainly tried when it came to her feelings, Anne thought as they kissed and Ann’s arms wrapped around her neck to keep her close. But she was realising with every ongoing day that that battle was pointless too as Ann’s sweet smile worked tirelessly on making her heart a warmer, brighter place that eased the sting of the old scars more with each day.

Ann nipped her lip before pulling away just a bit to look at her with parted lips, the yellow glow of the bedside lamp illuminating her from behind and giving her an almost angelic aura. Anne could only stare; in that moment, she was convinced she’d never seen a more beautiful woman in her life.

“You’re staring,” Ann said softly with a little smile, keeping her eyes firmly on Anne.

“Mhmh.” Anne leaned towards her neck in that moment, taking in the alluring scent that was so Ann before kissing her way to her ear.

“I cannot help it,” she whispered, letting her breath tickle her skin.

Ann squirmed against her, slipping her hands under her sweatshirt and running her fingertips over Anne’s belly just so her fingernails lightly scraped her skin. It drove Anne wild, goosebumps rising in their wake. Her hands in turn fiddled with the buttons of Ann’s cardigan until the garment fell open.

“You’re stunning.”

She kissed her lips briefly, smiling when Ann’s mouth followed her for more as she pulled away. “And still wearing too many clothes.”

“So are you.”

Ann’s fingers played with the hem of her sweatshirt and tugged, her gaze not wavering and staying on Anne’s. Was Ann challenging her?

That wouldn’t do. Anne took her hands and pulled them away from her, walking her backwards until her legs hit the edge of the bed. The silence was deafening and electrified all at the same time, and when Anne glanced down at those soft lips with darkened eyes it was all the warning Ann got before she dove in and kissed her hard, her hands cupping her breasts firmly through her clothes.

Ann’s moan was swallowed by Anne’s lips, her hands grasping her and pulling her with her as Ann let herself fall on the bed.

Patience was running thin as they parted and the cardigan was discarded at once before the shirt underneath and Ann’s bra followed suit. She kicked off her shoes and socks while Anne undressed her own upper half and crawled back on top of her, kneeling between her legs as she wrenched open her jeans.

Ann bit her lip when Anne looked down and found a familiar pair of boxers peeking out and groaned at the sight. She quickly pulled off Ann’s jeans and took in the view of Ann sprawled in her bed only covered by her own grey boxers. It did something to Anne. She felt her own boxers soak with her growing wetness as they stuck uncomfortably to her skin.

“Fuck, Ann,” she husked as she lowered herself on top of her and greedily captured her lips.

Small hands travelled down her chest, a bolt of lightning shooting through Anne’s body when fingers pinched her nipples before moving lower. They came to an abrupt stop when Anne slipped her hand inside Ann’s boxers and cupped her, both moaning at the ample wetness she found.

Ann shifted to slide down the boxers and make room, but Anne stopped her.

“Keep them on.”

There was something intense and wild in Anne’s gaze while the darkened brown eyes fixating on Ann also showed her a vulnerability inside. She nodded, finding speech eluded her as she rested her head back on the pillow.

Everything around them blurred when fingers found her clit and heat spread through her body at once, her toes curling when Anne rubbed _just right_. How did she always know?

Sighing, Ann found her eyes falling shut as Anne’s breasts pressed against hers and all that existed anymore was her touch and their connection. She angled her hips upward, holding Anne close to her so the strength and warmth of her body would engulf and protect her from the world.

Fingertips circled her entrance, slipping inside and filling her completely the moment she urgently pressed against them. A breathy moan left her, but then soft lips kissed her passionately as those long fingers – _God_ – started slowly drawing back before filling her again. It felt so good.

Part of her still couldn’t believe that this was real, that she, Ann Walker, was the one Anne Lister looked at _like that,_ like she’d never seen anyone she wanted more, like she was speechless at the impact of it. She held that gaze, convincing herself that this _was_ real, that it wasn’t just another of those dreams she’d wake up from aroused and with an empty heart yearning for a woman she couldn’t have.

Ann shuddered as those skilled fingers curled and hit that perfect spot that made her tingle and feel _hot_ all over. No, this was definitely real. It was the real Anne Lister who ground against her thigh, the scratchy fabric of her pants rubbing against her soft skin; it was the real Anne Lister who plastered kisses along her neck while breathing heavily with the exertion; it was without a doubt the real Anne Lister who was making love to her like she was the only person in her rich vast world that mattered. The thought nearly made her tear up.

A thumb brushed against her clit as Anne drove into her harder, and Ann went rigid as she saw her peak approach with speed and readied herself to be taken away by the avalanche. Her insides tensed and she let out a long moan. Anne groaned against her.

“You’re so close, aren’t you?”

Ann could only nod quickly, finding she had too little brain power left to put a single thought into words. Opening her eyes, she found Anne’s gaze already on her filled with so much desire and affection that Ann felt a wave of relief wash over her at once, her body going rigid as she held her tightly and gasped. In that moment, as the intensity of her peak took her away and mixed with what she’d seen in Anne’s eyes, all doubt was brushed off her shoulders. She knew she could do it. No matter what – Eliza, her family, the world – it didn’t matter, with Anne by her side she had the power to overcome it all.

A deep feeling of trust settled low in her gut as she felt soft lips on her forehead and warmth next to her. Coming back to her senses, Ann looked over to find Anne staring at her with an expression she couldn’t quite put her finger on, but she knew it made her want to never leave this bed again.

Taking a deep breath, she turned to face her. Anne smiled. She looked happy, relaxed where usually she often appeared so on edge, like something was always on her mind keeping her running a sprint where others decided for a leisurely walk. Not so right now.

Ann smiled back, taking her hand and squeezing.

Despite the inferno in her abdomen slowly tearing her up from the inside with want, Anne found a strange sense of calm had overtaken her. Her heart was pounding in her chest and yet she felt at peace instead of eager to shove her hand down her pants and grant herself the relief she needed.

She could only stare at these blue eyes in amazement as she let it sink in what this young woman was doing to her. The nagging voice in her mind warning her was mostly quiet, pushed aside as she allowed herself this moment, allowed herself to feel happy.

Anne pulled her closer, wrapping her arms around her waist securely. There was an innocent smile on Ann’s face when she reached around and squeezed her butt before tugging at her pants.

She sat up and wasted no time removing her remaining clothes, turning back to Ann to find her watching her with a hungry gaze. Looking down her where she was still wearing her boxers, Anne felt a tinge of something uncomfortable overcome her; suddenly she felt exposed naked as she was with Ann still partially covered. The situation felt foreign, weird when it was usually Anne who was wearing clothes when her partners were exposing themselves for her while she remained protected by layers of fabric. She squeezed her legs together, licking her lips.

Ann’s brow creased as she noticed the change in attitude. “Anne?”

Anne shook her head at herself. This was Ann, her heart told her she could let go of this and trust her. _But_ , another part of her warned in a hiss, _isn’t this intimidating?_

Taking a deep breath, she found concerned eyes locked to her. “Sorry, I… I’m not used to this. It’s silly.”

Ann looked at her with a puzzled expression, but nodded. “Okay. I’m sure it isn’t silly though.”

Again, Anne shook her head, not sure whether at herself or the kindness in Ann’s eyes that she somehow showed despite Anne making a big deal out of nothing instead of just going on, relaxing and letting her take care of her. She was being stupid, but instead of being put off by it, Ann only showed patience as she reached for her and rubbed soothingly along her back.

It helped, the soft sensation of those fingertips on her skin grounding her to reality and reminding her there was nothing to be worried about – Ann had not once given her reason to worry about her body. She focused on that as well as her delicate touch as it wandered from the firmness of her broad shoulders to her lower back and back up before repeating, daring to give the soft cheeks a squeeze when moving lower this time.

Anne let out a sigh, wrapping an arm around Ann and pulling her close as she made a conscious decision to surrender to this sweet woman and rolled onto her back, bringing her with her.

“You’re beautiful,” Ann whispered and kissed her shoulder, her collarbone, her neck. Surely she could feel her pulse racing when her hand settled at Anne’s hip and moved inward the moment Anne opened her legs.

Her heart felt full when she kissed Ann, her gasp swallowed by her lips when her hand slipped between her legs and stroked along her folds. Ann was avoiding her clit, narrowly brushing past it. Whenever she came close to her centre, Anne’s hips pressed forward in search of her, only to find Ann’s fingers retreat again. It was agonising and blissful all at once, this tantalising build-up of tension without granting her what she needed most.

She found herself groaning as her patience started to crumble, and Ann smiled softly like she wasn’t currently torturing her like this as her fingers slowly slid over her sensitive clit. Anne couldn’t have stopped the embarrassingly loud moan from slipping past her lips even if she’d seen it coming.

Ann wasn’t holding anything back, applying firm pressure that was making Anne hot as she was climbing towards that peak almost too quickly, her eyes falling shut and little sounds escaping her parted lips when Ann bent down and took a nipple in her mouth while her hand worked.

“Fuck…”

The moment teeth gently scraped along her nipple she gasped loudly, hips pressing urgently into Ann’s hand as her heart pounded in her ribcage. Were those breathy moans hers? She wasn’t sure, couldn’t focus as her peak overwhelmed her with a sudden force, her hand grasping onto Ann hard as she saw only white and came.

For a few moments, the only things she could focus on were the rapid beating of her pulse, her laboured breathing and how fucking good she felt. That was until her attention was drawn away from another unmistakable sound.

Opening her eyes, Anne turned her head to find Ann next to her facing her, one leg slung over hers and a hand inside her boxers, little sighs and moans escaping her as she touched herself. _Fuck._

Turning over, she found those stunning eyes opening to look at her while Ann’s hand continued, and Anne licked her lips as she slowly, purposefully reached for her hand and pulled it out and towards her.

Looking at the fingers that were glistening with Ann’s own arousal, Anne kept eye contact while taking them in her mouth to lick them clean, groaning at her taste. Ann stared, desire clear in her eyes.

“Anne…”

There was no holding Anne back when she rolled her onto her back, slid her boxers off and wasted no moment making her way down until her tongue dove between her soaked folds. This wouldn’t take long, not judging from how Ann’s fingers tangled in her hair immediately, pressing her close urgently and shuddering the moment Anne’s tongue slowly swiped over her clit to take in more of her taste.

She hummed as she kept up her efforts, licking and sucking and nipping before Ann gasped, holding her in a death grip against her core as she rode out her orgasm.

Anne smiled contentedly when she pulled away and admired her work, Ann spent in her bed, her chin wet and her taste on her tongue. She wiped herself off before lying next to her.

Ann smiled sleepily when she opened her eyes. “I feel safe with you.”

Anne kissed her forehead, rubbing her thumb across her cheek before rolling onto her back and looking at Ann invitingly. She scooted close, rested her head on her chest and slung a leg across hers, humming contentedly when Anne’s fingers rubbed lazily along her waist.

If she was honest, Anne had no real plan what they would do to deal with Ann’s family, what _she_ would do to justify Ann feeling so safe and strong with her, through her. She only knew that she would try everything she could think of for this amazing little woman who was filling her with a happiness she hadn’t felt in years.

For now, she was glad to know she’d taken away the sorrow and worry from her and replaced it with contentment and joy. They would figure it all out. Anne had been in rough situations before, and she’d managed to walk away successful through her stubborn refusal to give up.

****

The next morning, Anne found herself joking about how Ann lending clothes off her might become a common occurrence if she didn’t start thinking about bringing an overnight bag next time, or better yet, store some clothes in her place just in case. Ann agreed with a broad smile.

Really, she hadn’t thought about it much, but in hindsight it felt like a big step that Ann would be having her toothbrush next to hers and a little segment in her closet for her stuff. It was soon, yes, but it made things easier, and Anne was nothing if not pragmatic. Especially with Eliza breathing down Ann’s neck, it might be better if Ann wasn’t seen with her overnight bag going to Shibden. Still, she felt excited, almost giddy at the thought – though she wouldn’t admit it to anyone.

When they sat down in her room to discuss Ann’s family again, things weren’t quite so easy. After rising early, Anne had figured why not go with the most straightforward approach to settle this matter? She knew Ann felt intimidated by her family and Eliza especially, so wouldn’t it help if Anne accompanied and supported her when she approached her family to tell them? Ann had said so herself, she felt safe with her.

Ann took a shaky breath, panic settling in her widened eyes as she shook her head. Her hands nervously fiddled with her cardigan.

“I- I can’t.”

She looked at Anne pleadingly, and Anne wrapped an arm around her, trying to calm her.

“I’d be there with you all the way. And if Eliza makes you feel uncomfortable, she’ll get a piece of my mind. That’ll shut her up.”

She smiled with confidence, hoping to get a smile out of Ann in turn.

But she only shook her head again, leaning forward and rubbing her temples as if a headache were plaguing her.

“N-no. I… I’m sorry,” she whispered, looking at Anne again helplessly. “I can’t. The thought alone…” Ann swallowed, closing her eyes briefly, “The thought alone makes me panic.”

Tears started welling in her eyes as her breathing picked up, and Anne could only nod and rub her back to try and ease her distress. “It’s okay.”

Holding her close, she felt worry dig into her thoughts – yes, she’d been willing to be patient, knowing that they wouldn’t have a solution for this straight away and might have to pretend a little and so on. Yet, Ann’s strong reaction made Anne question when she’d be ready to break it to them, with or without her help.

She’d been convinced that offering her support by physically being there would take away whatever fear Ann had, but clearly she’d been wrong to assume that. Now Anne wondered how long they would be playing this game. When would Ann commit to her fully? When _could_ she? Could she at all?

Her face seemed to say it all. Ann wrapped her arm around her, pressing a desperate kiss to her lips as she sought eye contact.

“I- I want to tell them, Anne. I want to be with you openly. Please believe me.”

Anne nodded with a pained smile. She did believe Ann _wanted to_ – the desperation in her eyes mixed with honest affection as Ann held onto her for dear life was telling her everything. That wasn’t the point.

“I’m just concerned.”

After Mariana, Anne had learned her lesson. She was willing to be patient for Ann, sure, but there were limits – she’d learnt that after she’d waited years for Mariana to fully commit to her and ended up alone anyway. She was too old and tired for a repeat of this.

“Can I- can we wait a little? I need time.”

Anne felt like she’d heard it a million times before. And she probably had, but that wasn’t Ann’s fault, was it? She sighed, running her fingers through her hair.

Those beautiful eyes would be her downfall one day, Anne thought with mixed feelings as she slowly nodded eventually.

“Then you’ll have to play along with Eliza’s plans for a while until you’re ready,” she said, her brow furrowing before she added the next part, “and we will have to keep seeing each other in secret until then.”

It pained her to say it, and she hoped in her heart that she wouldn’t regret it. Anne had sworn to herself she wouldn’t do this again – being the dirty secret of a usually married woman was not what she wanted for herself anymore, she wanted a woman who was hers alone, who wasn’t ashamed to be seen with her or had a husband to get back together with as soon as Anne had done her job in the bedroom.

With Ann, of course, things weren’t as easy as that – Ann wanted her and no one else, but she was also scared of her family, had lived a life under their control and struggled to find ways to get out of that grasp and stand up for what she really wanted. It was frightening with her dependency on them since they mostly controlled her money and had been around her all her life – Anne understood that, but she couldn’t deny that she’d – perhaps naively – thought this would be simpler.

Still, she hoped that with some more time she could help Ann gain more confidence and courage to open herself up to them about her sexuality and make clear that her lifestyle was her decision and she would pull through with it. That was Anne’s plan. She had no idea if it would work, but it was the best they had right now.

“Okay. Thank you so much.” Ann kissed her passionately, pouring her gratefulness into it. Anne was still conflicted but kissed her back after a moment. She couldn’t deny the sinking feeling in her stomach that was only slightly eased by the warmth Ann’s lips gave her, the way she tried to reassure her that she would not disappoint her.

But when they parted and Anne wiped a stray tear from where it was escaping down her cheek, she couldn’t stop herself from wanting her despite the mess she was feeling she was getting herself entangled in again.

“As long as I have reason to hope,” she said softly, her voice uncharacteristically weak as she felt the weight of the situation on her shoulders.

“You have every reason to hope,” Ann whispered and pressed her lips to Ann’s forehead to smooth over the worry lines.

Anne, perhaps foolishly, believed her.

****

_Two weeks later…_

Ann fiddled with the hem of her jumper, pulling at a stray thread and wrapping it around her finger before looking up from where she was sat squeezed into the corner of her couch feeling uncomfortable and bored in equal measures.

Really, it was her own fault that she was even sitting here with Eliza and this young man opposite her who was currently boring her with some story how he’d made a smart investment apparently everyone had advised him against and had earned a hefty sum anyway – probably something he’d already told a dozen people before her in hopes of impressing them. Ann couldn’t care less but for politeness sake faked interest, while Eliza leaned forward in her seat with a smile while she listened intently.

In her thoughts, Ann scolded herself. She would not be sitting here if she had any courage in her bones to tell her family the truth and take what she wanted. Of course Eliza had emphasised the young man going by the name of Greg – or was it Gary? – only accompanied her to keep them some company, that it was innocent and Ann didn’t need to worry, but might like him anyway – sure. Sometimes, Ann felt insulted by how stupid they seemed to think she was.

She’d been mostly quiet, only responding politely when asked. Ann only wanted this to end, it was making her tense and uncomfortable, and she would much rather speed up time so it was time for Anne to pick her up after this.

It was dragging on, though, but slowly it seemed to dawn on both Eliza and the man that they were overstaying their welcome. They rose, and when Eliza stayed behind with Ann for a moment, she felt a cold shiver run down her spine as she sensed the inevitable talk coming up, the judgement and telling her what to do hid behind friendly smiles and seemingly kind words.

“That went well, didn’t it? You were a bit shy, perhaps, but I know what you’re like around new people.” Eliza’s eyes bored into her. _Don’t be so quiet next time, open up more._ Ann could practically hear her say it.

She licked her lips, only looking away as she tried to remind herself of Anne’s most recent advice. Why was she so scared? Why couldn’t she be brave like Anne?

“Greg is a handsome fellow, isn’t he? Why don’t I bring him around again sometime? Or you two could meet up in town. That would be lovely, don’t you think?”

Eliza was asking too many questions all at once. Ann’s head was starting to pound, and she felt the urgent need to retreat to her bedroom and be left to herself until Anne arrived, the only company she wanted right now. The thought of the evening ahead with her girlfriend gave Ann a burst of energy and confidence as she thought how proud Anne would be of her.

She rose her chin, looking back at Eliza with as much confidence as she could muster as she shook her head. “I don’t think so, no. Actually, I don’t care about seeing him again. And I’d rather be alone right now.”

The words were out before she had any chance to overthink and ruin it for herself. Her heart was pumping so fast she was concerned even Eliza could hear it, but then the older woman looked back at her with widened eyes, taking a step back before she seemed to recover.

“Well, it must’ve been a long day for you. Rest, and perhaps think about it again.”

Ann forced herself to keep Eliza’s gaze until the woman gave in and turned around.

When Ann heard the heavy sound of the door being shut behind them, she let herself fall on her couch with a sigh of relief before reality set in. She’d done it. It was small progress, but she’d done it, just like Anne told her.

Anne had suggested she work on trying to refuse Eliza small easy requests first, or gently talk back when she belittled her again, and now she felt she was slowly making a little progress. It wasn’t much, but it was a start, and perhaps – _yes –_ perhaps she could build up enough courage in time to talk back to them properly.

She excitedly sent Anne a message telling her she could pick her up and went upstairs to change into something prettier for their night out. Ann was just finishing putting on her makeup when the doorbell made her forget all about it and rush down so quickly, she got there just in time for James to open the door.

_Wow._ Anne looked devastatingly handsome with her hair tied back neatly and her black greatcoat that gave her an imposing aura. Something that reminded Ann of a fearless adventurer, and she guessed in a way, Anne was just that.

“I will stay overnight at the Lister’s, James,” she told him before he affirmed and closed the door behind them. She was glad she could trust James.

There was barely a moment before Anne’s lips found hers, but Ann shuddered and pulled away. “Your lips are freezing!”

Anne chuckled, shrugging as they walked together. “I walked here. No point bringing a car when we’re walking to town, is there?”

Ann wrapped her arm around hers with a smile. “No, there is not. You still should’ve warned me though.”

“Aw. I’ll make it up to you later.”

Looking over, Ann saw the mischievousness in that gaze that made her swallow as her mouth went dry at the possibilities. They had all night…

But for now, she was excited for their little date, even if it meant pretending they were just friends in case anyone spotted them. It wasn’t forever though, and Ann excitedly told Anne about her little success with Eliza right away as they walked. The glow in Anne’s eyes warmed her more than even her thick coat could, the way Anne stopped, pulled her into a tight hug and whispered how proud she was made her smile enough to light up the entire town.

It was a peaceful, quiet evening, the sky clear and the air cold enough that they could see their breath in front of their faces. As they walked the short way to town, Ann got a new sense of appreciation for the beauty of the area – really, she took the car far too often even for short distances; she made a promise to herself to walk more in the future.

Though maybe not when it was frosty. The path they took had remnants of snow and ice in places that made it slippery – it would be easy to fall if not paying attention. But Anne stayed close in case Ann lost her balance as they carefully maneuvered these parts before getting to those that the city service had cleared properly.

The streetlamps gave the city a warm glow that contrasted nicely with the cold and the remaining bits of snow on rooftops and next to the pavement. Ann hoped it would snow again, she loved the way it gave everything an almost magical touch. That, and she wanted to build a snowman.

“Over there,” Anne said and pointed to an illuminated sign that read _Villa Medici._ The sign sat atop a small building with big windows at the front that let out the establishment’s light onto the relatively dark side street they were on.

As they neared the place, Ann found herself falling in love already when she peaked inside the small restaurant that was decorated in the abstract modern shapes that were currently trending, rounded off with soft warm pastel colours.

Anne had told her in length how she usually disliked the way modern architecture gave places a cool, often sterile and lifeless feeling, but Ann could see that this place had pulled it off to be modern while still radiating warmth and looking cosy. The faint sound of music could be heard as they approached the door, and Ann felt a smile grow on her face.

They entered, and immediately the waiter next to the door greeted them and led them to their table right in the corner where they were shielded a little with a wall in the way. Ann immediately noticed that the place Anne had chosen must be rather upmarket – the cheaper restaurants didn’t even employ human waiters anymore, for one, and the spotless clean design was a hint too.

The waiter pressed a button under the table and the menu popped open above in a sleek hologram. They quickly decided on a red wine, but as usual Ann struggled deciding on what to eat. She could just go with lasagna, she pondered, but then she always took that and felt like she wanted to try something else in this place. Maybe fish? No, not in the mood for it. Her brow furrowed.

Anne’s chuckle drew her gaze away from where it had been staring holes into the wall in thought.

“Trouble deciding?”

Ann smiled, nodding. “Yes. I can never make a decision when it comes to food.”

“What caught your attention first when you looked? Take that. It’s usually a good choice, and it makes deciding easy.”

Ann frowned as she tried to remember. “Oh, I… I don’t know actually.” She fiddled with the black fabric of her sleeve. “What’re you having?”

“Pizza Calabrese. They make the best pizza here.”

“Then I’ll have that too.”

As expected, the food was exceptional. Ann didn’t have pizza often, but it was still safe to say that this had probably been the best she’d had. It didn’t surprise her that Anne would know where to take her for good food.

They stayed a little while longer, skipping desert but finishing their wine together. By the time they left, both had broad smiles on their face and Ann felt a little tipsy. She didn’t think about it when halfway down the road she reached up and kissed Anne, giggling when the handsome woman wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her into an alley.

When had she ever been this happy? Butterflies were practically wreaking havoc in her stomach as Anne winked at her and they reluctantly pulled apart and made their way back to Shibden.

In another part of town, a tall man was hunched over his computer screen in a shabby hotel room, smiling when he evaluated the pictures his drone had taken that night. Both faces clearly recognisable, nothing blurred, the kiss unmistakable. Perfect. Another job well done; his employer would be pleased. He sent the message right away.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me a while, been a bit busy. This is not a happy chapter, guys.

_A few days later…_

Ann groaned sleepily when her ringtone pulled her out of whatever pleasant dream she’d just been stuck in – something about her and Anne on vacation in a grand city – the warmth and happiness still clinging to her as she forced her eyes open and reached to pick up her phone.

“Hello?”

“Woah, Ann. What did you do? I’m not even trying to be nosey, but even I got the news that the tribe isn’t happy at all.”

Usually, Ann was happy to hear Catherine’s usually cheerful voice, even in the rare cases she woke her earlier than she liked. With that news, however, she already wished she hadn’t picked up as her stomach tied in knots.

“What?”

“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. I’ve no idea.”

Ann blinked as she sat up in her bed, wishing Anne was with her to calm her nerves. “I… I don’t know.”

But she had a feeling there was trouble ahead.

“Well, let me know once you’ve found out,” Catherine said, and Ann could practically see the understanding smile on the other end of the line. “They’ll probably let you know soon enough.”

“Okay. Thank you for warning me, Cath,” Ann said more weakly than she wanted to, biting her lip so hard she was surprised it didn’t draw blood.

“It’ll be okay, whatever it is. Ring me if you need me, yeah?”

“I will.”

They hung up, and Ann needed a moment to take in and understand what was going on. Her thoughts raced chaotically through her mind, trying to solve a puzzle she was missing most pieces of as the question what she could’ve possibly done wrong this time went through her head.

She tried to refuse thinking about the scariest option what if they’d found out about her and Anne somehow despite them being so careful. But she tried to reassure herself it was unlikely and that there were often even little things that bothered Eliza especially enough to want to lecture her about and warrant a speech about what a “proper member of the Walker family” was supposed to behave, look and be like. Ann felt sick at the thought.

Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she made herself get up and under the shower. Surely it was only a matter of time till her family would either call her – that was, if she was lucky – or just come round unannounced to invade her privacy as if it was their right if she was not so lucky. She counted on option two, hoping for one.

True enough, it wasn’t much later that the doorbell rang and James went to open the door. Ann put down the book she’d been trying to read for distraction and braced herself, trying to remind herself she could do this and it was surely not going to be that bad.

Moments dragged on like minutes until William and Eliza entered her living room, William with a nervous smile and Eliza with what could best be described as a gaze that could make hell freeze over. Ann swallowed thickly.

They sat down, and James brought tea.

William shifted in his seat. “Ann… you know the reputation of our family is incredibly important not just to Eliza and me, but everyone involved.”

Eliza only looked towards Ann in that controlling manner that made her tense up and ice-cold shivers run down her spine.

William cleared his throat and continued, “We have always understood that with your young age you might lack the understanding for it, and we’ve taken it upon ourselves – as you know – to gently guide you while forgiving simple missteps as part of you growing into your role.”

He licked his lips, about to speak again when Eliza cut in, “But there is a line.”

Ann fiddled with her hands, the rest of her feeling paralysed as if even moving might get her into more trouble than she already was in from whatever William was alluding to.

“W-what do you mean?” She hated how meek she sounded, and she hoped no one noticed the slight tremble in her hands.

Eliza frowned. “I think you know well enough.” She sighed, her lips a thin line as she continued. “I should have known better. Foolishly I assumed Miss Lister can be trusted around you, but she exploited you and forced her ways on you.”

_No no no no. How?_ Ann wanted to speak but no sound came out as she tried to make herself. How did they know about them? They’d been so careful…

As if reading her mind, Eliza reached into her purse and produced a picture, wordlessly sliding it over on the coffee table. The picture showed her kissing Anne after their date in town a few days ago. Ann swallowed as she remembered. She’d been careless one moment… and immediately she paid for it.

“I am very disappointed in her, but also in you. I told you to be mindful,” Eliza continued coldly. Then she glanced over at William. “We think this… _behaviour_ of yours shows that you will stray to ways that would shame the family if left unchecked.”

Ann didn’t know how she held on, how she stopped herself from panicking in that moment as the feeling of something inevitable closed in around her and made her feel like someone was pressing a pillow into her face that took away the air she needed until she suffocated painfully, left alone and forgotten about.

It felt like a thin rope, like she was barely holding on to whatever strength she had as she stared blankly and her thoughts went to Anne to keep her rooted to sanity. Her Anne. If only she was here, if only she could-

“Surely you will see reason now that we’re bringing it to your attention. This is unacceptable, Ann.”

Eliza took a sip from her tea, looking at her with that piercing gaze that made Ann even more uncomfortable than she already was as she sank into the soft cushion of the sofa. She wished it would swallow her.

She felt so weak. What would happen now? She wanted to be with Anne. She always had. And if she weren’t such a coward but brave and strong like her, she would stand up for herself now.

Her vision became blurry with tears as Ann shook her head at herself. She had learned nothing in the past weeks. The brief moments she had talked back meant nothing when all she could do was sit here like a pathetic coward now when it mattered most.

“We’re convinced this foolishness will end as quickly as it started once you have someone by your side who will look after you and dispel this nonsense, however. You will decide between two candidates to marry. Soon.”

There was no stopping the flow of tears as the harsh reality set in. There was no choice for her to escape this, and there never had been. She’d tried to wiggle and gain some free space to move in, and when she’d been successful and made small steps, she’d stupidly assumed she could slowly make more room for herself while secretly seeing Anne, until… until _what?_ What would she have done to stop this? To get out of it? Her family had control over _everything_ in her life. She’d be left with nothing.

“Don’t worry, Ann,” William spoke up with an empathetic smile that did nothing to soothe her.

She looked up from where she’d stared blankly into the floor, her gaze void of any of the colour and life that was usually found there.

“Do you understand?” Eliza asked, and Ann wished she would just _stop talking._ Her voice became nearly unbearable, like a shrill sound that slowly drove her mad from the inside.

No, in fact she did not understand. She couldn’t. She would never understand how being gay was causing such disgust among her family. How their ‘reputation’ was more important than happiness and being with the person who made you happy. Ann’s hand formed into a fist as years of frustration started boiling inside her.

_Just leave me alone, it’s my life,_ she wanted to shout.

Her anger got stuck in her throat the moment she made the mistake of looking up into Eliza’s eyes that radiated such dominance Ann felt herself shrink to half her height and whatever resistance had been trying to build within her got crushed in a moment, overshadowed by fear.

She could only nod, muttering a weak ‘yes’. Anne would rightfully despise her for this if she were here. Ann stayed silent, her gaze on the floor until the Priestley’s got the message and left, not without Eliza putting a hand on her shoulder and reminding her it was for her good and how happy she would be once she understood.

Ann didn’t want to understand. She didn’t know how many hours passed that she sat in her same place on the sofa without moving, but the sun was setting when she rose to use the bathroom. She felt empty, her eyes red from crying and her face pale.

Her thoughts went to Anne when she looked in the mirror after washing her face. She wanted nothing more than for her to be here right now, to hold her and make it all better. But her stomach sank when she realised even Anne would look down on her now.

Had she not sold her soul by not refusing to be married off once again? What would become of her and Anne now? She’d never truly had a choice, Ann thought bitterly as her heart was torn apart by the thought of losing Anne.

She slid down against the wall, sobbing loudly. Foolishly she had dared to dream what it would be like to marry Anne someday, to wear her ring with pride and wake up next to her every morning. But it didn’t matter, as her fate was decided by her family anyway.

Anne deserved better than her. She deserved a confident woman who wasn’t afraid to fight her family for her happiness, not a stupid girl who let them kick her around however they wanted.

At least she’d been happy for a few weeks of her life.

She typed a message to Anne with shaky hands.

It wasn’t thirty minutes later that she arrived at Ann’s place, finding Ann curled on the floor with her arms around her knees as she leaned against the wall of her living room.

Anne rushed to her side, kneeling next to her. “What happened? I came as quickly as I could.”

Ann shook her head, closing her eyes as new tears escaped down her cheeks. When she felt Anne reach out and wipe the tears away, her heart only ached stronger for it. She was running out of time with Anne, and every affectionate gesture only served as a reminder of her own failure and the heartbreak she would have to live with for the rest of her days, the deep longing for Anne eating her up from the inside.

She sobbed. “I… I’m going to be married again. They f-found out about us.”

Anne sat back, baffled. “What?”

Ann pointed over to the coffee table.

“Oh…” Anne held the picture in her hands as reality seemed to set in. She ran her tongue over her upper lip, and Ann could practically see her mind working. Putting the picture back down, she moved back over to Ann and rested her hand on her knee.

“This complicates things, yes, but they’ve been meaning to marry you off before this. And we’ve been working on that.”

When Ann looked up to meet her gaze, she saw so much affection and strength in it, it only made her chest constrict more as she thought of the inevitability of it all. And yet, here Anne kneeled, ever confident and stubborn that they could do it.

“You’ve- you’ve gotten better at denying them, so we can do this. It might only mean we have a little less time, right?”

Ann gently shook her head. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

Anne shifted to get a better look at her, frowning. “What do you mean?”

The situation was unbearable. Ann could barely stand it, the pain in her chest, the cold panic clawing at her entire body at the finality of her family’s decision, the way she felt like she was watching what little time she had run between her fingers like sand.

“I- I can’t,” she said weakly. “They said I’ll have to choose between two candidates soon. I-it sounded so final.”

Anne shook her head, her hand holding to Ann’s knee more firmly. “There is always a choice, Ann,” she said, raising her voice.

Ann saw those beautiful brown eyes glaze over as Anne sucked in a breath, “You can’t… you can’t let them win.”

A loud sob filled the otherwise quiet room as Ann buried her head in her hands. “What should I do, Anne? They _own_ me!” she whisper-shouted after a few moments with desperation in her reddened eyes.

“They control everything I have, everything I _am,_ ” she continued before another series of sobs followed.

There was only silence in response, and when Ann looked next to her, she found Anne kneeling with a blank gaze directed somewhere else. She shifted and took her hand from her knee, looking at her, and the pain she could now clearly see in her eyes took her aback.

“Then this is it? Is that what you’re telling me?”

Anne’s voice was low and strained with hurt and anger as she looked at Ann expectantly with a firmness in her gaze that made her flinch. Ann was sure she could hear her heart break in that moment.

“I don’t _want_ to do this, Anne. I have no choice,” she responded quietly.

“There is always a choice, somehow,” Anne repeated her earlier statement, moving to stand.

“I want to be with you,” Ann sobbed, “I love you.”

Her eyes widened at her own admission, and so did Anne’s as they looked at each other in silence. She loved Anne – she’d known this for a while, had felt it in the depths of her heart but had thought it too soon to say these three impactful words.

A single tear ran down Anne’s cheeks as she swallowed and her expression distorted in pain. “Then you would choose me.”

“I want to,” Ann said meekly, looking up at Anne as she was towering over her.

Anne only shook her head, her lips a thin line. “Don’t let yourself be seen around Shibden anymore, _Miss Walker._ ”

Every word hit Ann as if someone was stabbing into her chest repeatedly. Through her pained sobs, Ann could not hear Anne’s footsteps as she stormed away. She flinched when the door was slammed shut and left her alone in the dim light of her living room.

She’d lost it all. Her own cowardice had lost her the only person who’d ever made her happy. The woman she loved. And it would get her trapped in another marriage for the rest of her life, unloved and lonely. Perhaps she deserved it for hurting Anne the way she did.

****

Anne groaned painfully as her head hit the pillow and everything seemed to spin around her. She’d no idea how late it was, only that it had needed quite a good amount of cognac to get her to this state where the buzz of the alcohol was mostly drowning out the pain.

Still, she was tossing and turning restlessly, finding no sleep despite her inebriated state until exhaustion eventually took her late into the night.

The next morning, she awoke and took a deep breath, and for a moment the lingering familiar scent that was Ann’s soothed her until she opened her eyes and found the pillow next to her empty. Memories of yesterday came back in an instant, and with them the pain she’d tried to drown last night.

Again, she’d been naïve to let a beautiful young woman take her heart when it had been clear from the start that she could never truly be with her. But Anne had been a fool once more, her heart not caring what her rational side tried to warn her about.

She groaned when she sat up and her head pounded. Stretching and feeling her joints pop, she was reminded once more of her age – she would die alone and lonely, she thought glumly. No woman wanted to have her as her girlfriend, she was only good enough for a proper fuck. And even the one who did want her wouldn’t be with her.

Anne wanted to scream. She grasped the sheets in her hands, growling in frustration at herself and her stupidity.

The ringing sound coming from her wrist drew her out of her thoughts, and for a split second hope bloomed within her despite herself. What if it was Ann?

She looked at the screen, another name entirely showing. She deflated. Against better judgement, she picked up.

“What do you want, Mariana?”

“Is that the kind of greeting I get these days?” Mariana responded half-jokingly, and Anne felt irritation stir in her gut.

“I’m not in a good mood.” _But don’t ask me why._

Mariana hummed, but didn’t enquire further. “I’m in the area today, and thought I’d pay you a visit. What do you say?”

It wasn’t a question. That much Anne knew after all this time. But Mariana conveniently seemed to forget that they were done. Only Anne wasn’t sure she had it in her to fight with her, not today. Not anytime soon.

Sighing, she nodded to herself. “I’ll let Cordingley know we’ll have another guest.”

“Fantastic. I’ll see you around.”

Anne buried her head in her hands after the call. She wasn’t religious but prayed to whatever gods would hear her that Mariana would be easy on her.

****

Anne had spent the better half of the day burying herself in work with mild success. It only did so much to soothe the pain in her chest or stop the thoughts from wandering back to Ann. She almost felt relieved when Mariana arrived for dinner.

And luckily, it went by without any trouble. She knew her family had never liked her – understandably so after everything that went on between her and Anne. But they behaved well enough, the only awkward moment being when Mariana went for the bathroom and Marian questioned what she was doing here and where Ann was. Anne had no answer. Her aunt met her with an understanding smile.

Mariana insisted her and Anne go for a walk after food, and she reluctantly agreed. It was a frosty evening, similar to the one a few days ago when she took Ann out, Anne thought sadly but tried not to dwell on it.

Mariana wrapped her arm around hers like she owned her as they walked in silence for a bit. Anne hated to admit it, but right now part of her was glad that Mariana was here and she at least wasn’t alone.

“How are things with you and Miss Walker?”

Anne looked over, finding Mariana’s gaze on her as they were briefly illuminated by a streetlight while passing under it. She looked away.

“I’d rather not talk about it.”

Mariana hummed but stayed quiet for a few moments. “Maybe now that silly girl isn’t distracting you anymore you can remember who’s been here for you all these years.”

Anne stopped in her tracks. Mariana looked at her confidently, her lips slightly curling into a sly smile.

“Excuse me?”

Mariana shrugged, seemingly unaffected by the outrage in Anne’s voice. “I said what I said. You’ve been neglecting me, and I know what you said, but we both know you never mean it, _Freddy._ ”

Anne snarled. She hated that nickname. Once, a long time ago, Mariana had been using it affectionately, but it had long since developed into a nickname she only used when she was frustrated with her.

“I meant it that time, and I still do. And don’t talk about Miss Walker in such a way.”

Mariana stepped closer, taking her hand in hers. “Why not? She’s dumped you to get married again, hasn’t she?”

Anne freed her hand from her grasp, frowning with the growing anger inside her. This is precisely what she didn’t want tonight. But it was too late to regret it as she felt her frustration grow the longer she looked into Mariana’s eyes, and it felt like they’d been in this situation a million times before already.

“So did you, Mariana,” she hissed before Mariana’s words repeated in her head and she wondered. “How do you know this?”

Mariana stepped closer and wrapped her arms lightly around Anne’s waist, shaking her head. “Did you truly believe that Miss Walker would refuse the security of a wealthy gentleman by her side for you?”

The words stung, and Anne had to look away from her. Still, she didn’t free herself from her grasp that felt both unwelcome and comforting at the same time – Mariana was the only one who understood her well, who knew how inadequate she felt sometimes. The comfort decades of loving and fighting each other gave her made her ignore the part of her that wanted to push her away.

Anne gently shook her head. No, she guessed deep inside she had not genuinely believed it. But she’d _hoped._ She’d hoped Ann was stronger.

Mariana leaned against her chest, and it was more reflex than anything when Anne wrapped an arm around her.

“That’s why I exposed you two. I did you a favour before you would’ve lost your heart to her.”

It took a moment for the words to sink in. Anne felt speechless. It felt like reality was dismantling around her – perhaps she was rapidly going insane? Surely, this could not be real.

“You did what?” she asked, unsure.

Mariana looked at her with a calm expression. “I hired someone to find evidence on you two. You’ve probably seen the picture. I forwarded it to her family.”

Anne blinked once, twice. This could not- why would Mariana do this to her?

She only realised she said it out loud when Mariana rubbed her shoulder affectionately but spoke to her with the voice of an exhausted teacher answering the same question for the tenth time. “To protect you from being hurt, Anne. Like I said.”

It was then that Anne felt like a switch had been flicked. She gripped Mariana’s arms and moved them off her with disgust on her face, stepping back as far as she could on the pavement that was deserted except for them.

“This time your selfishness has really outdone itself, _Mariana_ ,” Anne hissed, not letting herself be disturbed by the expression of shock forming on Mariana’s face.

“You call this protecting me? Destroying my relationship, then visiting me after as if you were some sort of saint who didn’t leave me for Charles and then dragged me along by a sliver of hope for _years_ …”

Mariana was about to open her mouth, but Anne silenced her with a firm gesture of her hand. “And now you expect me to thank you for it, to realise how right you were and feel enlightened by it, is that it? And perhaps invite you straight back to my bed to properly thank you for it before you fuck off again to your husband tomorrow, mhh?”

She was talking herself into a rage, her voice filling the empty streets around them. Anne was past the point of caring if anyone saw or heard them. Her blood was pumping in her veins as she saw red and her growing contempt for Mariana reached new levels.

“Anne, this is not-“

“Don’t you talk to me,” Anne hissed. “This,” she said, pointing at Mariana and boring her finger into her chest, “is low even for you, Mariana.”

Mariana stared with wide eyes. She’d never seen Anne like this. Licking her lips, she nodded more to herself as a sense of defeat started setting in. Looking into Anne’s eyes that were darkened by rage and the hurt underneath that Mariana could spot so easily, she couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps she’d made a mistake.

A sense of loss started taking hold of her as she wondered if she’d gone too far.

“But do you really think she would’ve decided for you without my interference?” she asked, not unkindly.

“I don’t know. But you took that choice from her.”

They stood in silence for a few moments, and Anne took a deep breath as she felt her anger slowly dissipate. She was still furious, but it was now accompanied by a calm sense of resolution.

“Never contact me again. We are done. Once and for all.”

Weeks and weeks ago Anne had communicated similar messages to Mariana, but it had been clear to her that the woman had not understood, or perhaps had simply refused to take her seriously.

Either way, when she glanced one final time into those so familiar eyes and saw them glazed over, a sense of understanding set in between them. This was final. This was goodbye.

Anne briefly put her hand on her shoulder and squeezed before moving past her and back towards Shibden. She didn’t look back.

By the time she’d dragged herself up the stairs and into her room, she felt drained and empty. Her fitful sleep was filled with dreams about Ann and what could have been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It'll get better, trust me!


	9. Chapter 9

The next two days dragged on in a blur of tears and misery. Ann locked herself mostly in her room, her crying only interrupted by hours of restless naps whose only advantage was that she couldn’t feel miserable while asleep. There was a gaping wound where her heart was, and it felt like every breath she took was painful without Anne by her side filling her chest with warmth.

This morning, however, was particularly difficult. Ann had been told she was to see one of the men today, which did nothing to make it any less hard to drag herself out of bed. She’d neglected her appearance the last two days, had barely eaten or drunk anything, and it showed when she looked at herself in the mirror and dark rings showed under her eyes, her hair sticking up wildly and her skin pale and lifeless.

_Good, maybe he won’t want me,_ she thought bitterly before stepping in the shower. Of course realistically she knew that hope was in vain – these men wanted her for her money and the standing of her family, not because they found her pretty.

Ann did the bare minimum to make herself look presentable, only so much that she didn’t embarrass herself and wouldn’t give Eliza another reason to lecture her. She put on an old blue hoodie and her least favourite pair of jeans, not bothering with make-up at all for the occasion.

Time dragged on until her appointment with the man whose name she didn’t even know yet. Ann anxiously chewed her lip. She only wanted to get this over with and go back to hiding in her bed where the covers provided her a small solace and she could pretend the cold world didn’t exist.

Her thoughts went back to Anne despite her best efforts not to go there, her eyes immediately watering again as the ache in her chest stung when she imagined that broad smile reserved only for her. What she wouldn’t give for Anne to saunter in here confidently right now and whisk her away with that smile on her lips.

Ann twitched when she heard the doorbell, quickly reaching up to wipe away the few tears that had started to roll down her cheeks. She braced herself, tensing the moment she heard footsteps approach and the door open.

The dark-haired man with the neatly trimmed moustache, well put together grey suit with a red tie and shiny black brogues looked exactly like she’d expected. Eliza often seemed to pick up these kinds of types for her, and it wasn’t surprising. He looked a little older than Ann with his sideburns showing noticeable greying even from the distance, but his age was hard to judge.

Their gazes met, and she didn’t fail to notice how the man’s eyes immediately took in her entire figure up and down. He licked his lips almost imperceptibly, but Ann caught it. A cold shiver ran down her spine.

He smiled at her haughtily. “Miss Walker, what a pleasure to meet you. I have heard so much about you already.”

He approached her with measured steps that looked so proper and well-practised Ann wanted to puke. She knew the type – wealthy family, likely sent to a renowned private school as a boy, probably Lichfield nearby if she had to make a guess.

James nodded at her with a sympathetic smile from the background and closed the door to the living room, the faint sound cementing the situation she was in: alone with this man for at least an hour or two, having to pretend she didn’t hate every second of it. Ann felt trapped.

He reached her, holding out his hand for her to take. Somehow he even made that simple gesture look lofty. “My name is Victor Moore.”

She swallowed, staring for a moment at the big hand held out in front of her before reminding herself she had to play along and taking it. Her own small hand felt icy in his firm warm grip. She hoped he wouldn’t comment.

What she didn’t expect was when he took her hand and brought it to his lips to place a kiss to the back of it. Ann could only stare open-mouthed as her stomach turned. _Please don’t_ , she thought to herself, trying her best not to show the disgust too much as he let go.

“You are a quiet one, aren’t you?”

He sat down on the sofa next to her uninvited, and since he occupied the middle, Ann would have no choice but to sit right next to him. She glanced over to the armchair nearby and moved over to sit there.

“I don’t talk much,” she answered quietly, avoiding looking at him longer than necessary.

He hummed, rubbing his chin as his gaze lingered on her. “Mh. Well, it doesn’t matter. I’m sure you’ll warm up to me in no time.”

He smiled confidently, and Ann did not like the way his eyes gleamed as they briefly flicked down to her chest. She swallowed as cold anxiety started spreading through her veins at the thought of this man trying to touch her.

An awkward silence spread as Ann stared holes into the floor. All she wanted was to be left alone, and if anything were for her to decide, she’d have kicked him out already. Maybe he’d get the hint and leave if she stayed silent.

_But then what?_ _What if the second choice is worse?_ No, surely he couldn’t be. Ann refused to think about that possibility as she lifted her gaze and caught him looking at her with intent green eyes.

“I know this is always a little strange at first, getting to know one another. But we can certainly find common ground given a little time.” His smile seemed more innocent, more sincere this time.

“What do you do in your spare time, Ann?”

The moment James entered and brought tea, Ann took a relieved deep breath for the welcome interruption, her pleading gaze silently wishing for James to just take her out of this room, or out of this world entirely somewhere else where she could be free.

He left, and Ann bit her lip. “I, uh… I like to paint, I guess.”

Raising an eyebrow, he nodded appreciatively. “Painting is good. A sophisticated pastime. You could paint me sometime.”

_No._ Ann nervously played with her fingers. “I’m… I’m not very good.”

“Fair enough. Maybe when you’ve improved sometime, though I imagine you’ll be rather busy with other things.”

He took a sip of the tea, his eyes not leaving hers as she looked at him puzzled. Ann was many things, but busy wasn’t one of them. If anything, her fortune allowed her to spend most of her time freely.

“Why do you say that?”

Humming, Victor leaned forward and put down his cup. “Well, of course we will have a maid, but children are still work.”

The blood in Ann’s veins froze. The room suddenly felt arctic, and she couldn’t move as if her body was frozen in place. Her worst possible fear seemed to be becoming reality as she stared at him and saw in his eyes that he was serious about that statement.

She shook her head gently. “I- I don’t want children.” _Or being touched by you._

He frowned, looking at her arrogantly as he leaned back and spread his legs confidently. “If we are to marry – and we are – then we will have children. Surely your family has taught you a woman’s place, have they not?”

Ann felt small under that firm gaze boring into her, the authoritative low timbre of his voice doing the rest in shattering her as she had a hard time stopping her hands from shaking in her lap. She couldn’t- she couldn’t do this.

“I haven’t agreed to marriage,” she said more meekly than she wanted to, but with all her willpower managed to look up and muster whatever resolve she could find to stare right back at him thin-lipped, tilting up her chin slightly in her best try for defiance.

Shaking his head, Victor leaned in her direction with a smirk that immediately made Ann regret her reaction. “Did your family not tell you?”

“W-what?”

If Ann was certain about anything, she knew that she didn’t want to hear what was to come next. Not with the way he was looking at her smugly, his hand rubbing over his fingers.

“It’s already agreed on. How strange that they would not tell you this. The ceremony is in three weeks.”

Chaos took over in Ann’s head as a million thoughts started flying through her mind, voices all talking over one another. _But Eliza said- This can’t be real. I can’t do this. No, no, no! I’d rather die._

She shook her head as a dark future started forming on her mind, twisted images of the hell of a marriage she had been sold into without her consent. Disgust and panic were threatening to overwhelm her, everything spinning around her, and in worry she might vomit right there, she rose from her seat and rushed out the room.

“Excuse me.”

Locking herself in the toilet, she breathed heavily as she managed to just about stave off what felt like a panic attack. What could she do? She couldn’t marry this man, she would rather die than sleep next to him every night and have his paws on her body.

Her phone beeped from where she had put it in the pocket of her hoodie, and she checked to see a message from Catherine asking how she was doing. Guilt overwhelmed her as she recalled she’d not even talked to her anymore after Catherine had been so kind to warn her about that visit by the Priestley’s a few days ago.

But maybe… maybe Catherine knew something to do. She’d always had her back, and she understood the family situation. Ann pressed the phone to her ear, and Catherine picked up immediately.

“Hey, aren’t you supposed to be meeting someone right now?”

So she heard the news. She sounded amused, as if she knew Ann had snuck away, but that changed quickly when she heard Ann’s heavy breathing. “Are you okay, Ann?”

Ann shook her head as if Catherine could see her.

“No,” she almost whispered. “Cath, they- they already promised me to this man, and he- he is awful.”

She nearly choked as tears flowed, her voice breaking, “I- I can’t do this.”

There was a moment’s silence as Catherine seemed to take in what Ann said. “Wow, okay. I didn’t think Eliza would do such a thing. That’s not, no – that’s not okay. There is no way out of it?”

“He made it clear that we’re marrying in three weeks. There is even a bloody date set already!” Ann could feel her heart beating rapidly against her ribcage as she sobbed uncontrollably, her inescapable future hanging over her like the sword of Damocles, ready to fall on her and seal her tragic fate.

“Hang on… what?”

“That’s what he said.”

Ann could practically see the angry frown on her friend’s face. “That’s- no! That’s not right, Ann. That’s all kinds of fucked up.”

Ann knew. Nothing about this was right in any way. “I wish I could just be with Anne…” she mumbled. _If she’d even still want me,_ she thought to herself sadly.

“You know I’ve always endorsed you being with who you love, Ann,” Catherine said with sympathy in her voice. “If only life were like in one of those movies, you know, where you just take her by her hand, run away with each other, and it’s happily ever after.”

Ann laughed through her tears. Somehow Catherine could make her feel lighter even in her darkest moments, chasing away dread with her light-hearted comments and silly jokes.

“Oh, I wish.”

“And she’d just whisk you away to a far-away district and you’d get married super secret.”

They giggled together, and Ann already felt much better as it seemed the dark cloud over her head lifted a little, at least for now where she didn’t have to deal with the reality waiting in her living room. It felt good to be focusing on these dreams instead, even if that’s all they’d ever be.

“Actually… hang on a second…”

Ann raised an eyebrow in question. “Yeah?”

“I’m- why didn’t I think of that sooner?” Catherine’s voice seemed a pitch higher as it filled with excitement that Ann, confused as she was, could not share. She looked forward at the mirror in the small bathroom, finding only her own puzzled gaze.

“You totally can!”

“What? I’m not following, Cath.”

“You _can_ run away with Anne Lister and get married and show Eliza the middle finger she deserves!”

Ann’s brain short-circuited, and for a moment it seemed like she struggled catching on. Maybe it was the immense sadness she’d been dealing with lately clouding her brain, maybe it was the shock from today’s events slowing her. It didn’t help that Catherine talked faster when she was excited about something.

Catherine caught on. “I mean, Ann, haven’t you heard of young couples going to York and doing just that? You can get married there in like less than two hours. Totally easy!”

Ann stared at her reflection in the mirror open-mouthed. She was sure she’d heard mention of it years ago, but it was only brought back to her attention now. Did that mean-? Could they-? “I… I guess.”

“So you can grab her hand, take a train or whatever and make her yours! No one can do a thing about it.”

Ann felt incredibly stupid as her brain seemed to finally properly catch on through the haze of tears and the growing headache. How had she not thought of that before? However, her ever-doubting mind reminded her, it didn’t solve a few critical issues.

“They still control me though. I can only imagine how they’ll react if I do this.”

Catherine grumbled. “I’m only pissed off I didn’t think of this sooner. But really, what are they gonna do? You’d be married, screw them. And if they take your money away, so what? You can build something new with Anne. You’d be free.”

Ann nodded as something clicked and a heavy pressure seemed to lift off her shoulders. Money had never been important to her, as it couldn’t buy happiness and didn’t mean anything to her, but she’d always worried she’d be left penniless and losing her home. She’d always imagined having to fend for herself, trying to make a living in a world she had little experience in, let alone sufficient talents to earn money with.

But of course she’d have Anne, and while she wasn’t rich like her, she was doing well enough. She wouldn’t let her down, surely. How had Ann not thought about it like this before?

“Okay, you have a point there,” she said softly, the first smile since forever forming on her lips when Catherine hummed contentedly.

“There is just one problem.”

“Go on.”

Her smile faltered as Ann thought back to that day she’d told Anne the news and she’d stormed off.

“When I told her the news about them wanting to marry me a-and how scared I was, I-“ Ann sniffed as Anne’s cold voice echoed in her head, “she told me she didn’t want to see me again.”

“Oh, Ann.”

They shared a moment’s silence as Ann cried on the phone, wondering if there was any hope for them. Anne was a woman of her word, so when she said something like that, she meant it. Ann’s heart clenched as she realised she’d probably given away her one chance at happiness.

“She was hurt though,” Catherine tried. “You love her, don’t you?”

Ann nodded. She’d never known anything with more certainty than this. “Yes.”

“Then go over there and tell her. And bring up this plan. You have to try.”

Catherine was right. There were few things in her life that she’d ever been as clear about as this: she loved Anne, and she would be damned if she didn’t try everything imaginable to win her back. Her cowardice had gotten her into this situation, a situation in which she was so trapped into a tiny corner she was facing a grim fate that had forced her to realise it was do or die.

Go all in or live the rest of her life trapped in a nightmare of a marriage. In a twisted kind of way, Eliza and her disgusting choice of a husband for Ann had helped her by forcing her to make a move if she didn’t want to drown in misery.

The clarity of the situation felt freeing in a strange sense Ann couldn’t quite understand right now. All she knew was that today she either won all or lost all.

“You’re right,” she said to her friend, her voice filled with more life now as she stepped towards the mirror and wiped away stray tears with her free hand.

“Then go on and get her,” Catherine cheered her on. “And let me know how it went as soon as you can. I need to know if I have to murder your husband-to-be or not.”

Ann chuckled alongside her before they hung up and she cleaned herself up. Her thoughts went back to the vile man still in her living room who must be wondering where she went. Ann quickly sent a message to James instructing him to escort Mr Moore out before grabbing her coat and sneaking out via the back entrance. She had no time to lose.

****

“You are insufferable lately, Anne!” Marian shouted across the room where Anne leaned against the doorframe with her arms crossed and an angry frown on her face.

“You can’t expect us to wait up forever with lunch while you’re out for God knows how long wherever it is you go,” she continued, the shrill agitated sound of her voice doing nothing to soothe the headache that was pounding in Anne’s head.

“Did it occur to you you could’ve just called me and asked? Mh?” Anne held up her wrist.

“You could’ve also just told us! Why do we always have to dance to your tune?”

Anne groaned as her irritation reached new levels. She had no patience for this whatsoever, not lately and especially not today. “Because this is _my_ house, Marian. As long as you live here, you’ll go along with _my_ rules. If that’s an issue, you’re free to move out.”

Marian stared at her in disbelief, shaking her head. “Oh, and you’d kick out Aunt as well?”

Anne snarled as she took a step towards her. “I said nothing about kicking out anybody-“

“Girls.”

The firm sound of a familiar voice behind Anne shut her up in an instant as she turned, stepping out of the doorway as their aunt walked past her, eyeing her sharply on the way in before giving Marian the same stern look.

“I think this is quite enough.”

She turned to Anne. “Next time, just give us a rough time when you’re back, will you?”

Whatever anger had been boiling inside Anne dissipated when her aunt’s kind but assertive gaze stayed on her. She had a way to get to her when few people could, and she knew how to wield that power.

Anne nodded. “I can do that.”

Then, turning to Marian, Aunt Anne added, “And you, Marian, don’t give your sister such a hard time, alright? She’s got a lot on her mind.”

Normally, Anne would protest, too concerned that bringing it up would only lead to questions that she wasn’t ready for. She wanted to deal with this on her own and in her own time, and she knew her nosey ever-pestering sister would just ask far too many questions about her bad temper, the dark rings under her eyes and where Miss Walker was.

Marian nodded, the hint of an apologetic smile on her face as she looked first at their aunt and then at Anne. “Okay.”

Anne only nodded with a forced smile, ready to leave for the privacy of her room. She stepped back. “I’ll be down for dinner later.”

The last few days had been rough. Not for the first time lately Anne felt like her life was falling apart, and she wasn’t coping well with it at all, spending most of her free time holed up in her room alone with her thoughts, alcohol and sometimes the journal she’d started writing as a means to relief herself off the chaos of emotions she found so hard to control and bring in order.

So far she’d had limited success with it, but this wasn’t the first heartbreak she was going through and she knew the rules. Sitting down at her desk, she took out the little tablet and her pen and started writing away. She’d been at Steve’s today after a few hours of work, drinking away her sorrows and telling the old guy all about the last week’s events. It had helped, sure, but no matter what she did, the pain didn’t pass.

Her eyes stung with unshed tears, her vision blurring as she thought back to Ann, her beautiful smile and how she missed her. Yet another entry on the long list of women who didn’t choose her.

A knock on her door caught her attention, and immediately her brow furrowed in annoyance. Had Marian not got the hint and could leave her alone for a few hours? Was that too much to ask?

“Marian, I swear-“

“Calm down. There is someone who wants to see you, Anne.”

Anne put down her pen, rubbing her temples. Whoever it was, she wasn’t in the mood. “Tell them I’m busy.”

“Are you sure? It’s Miss Walker.”

Anne swallowed, her heart leaping in her chest at the unexpected news. What did Ann want of her now? Did she-? No. Anne shook her head as it came to her. Of course. Ann still had a few things here, clothes that she probably wanted to pick up. Anne only wished she weren’t home to have to see her for it.

She stood and went for the door, taking a deep breath. Better get this over with quickly. Opening it, she found Marian stepping to the side as Ann came into view. Anne could not stop herself from staring, she looked so beautiful.

Her heart nearly broke, though, when she saw the dark rings under her eyes similar to her own, and the paleness on her cheeks. Ann looked just as miserable as Anne felt, the realisation bringing reality crashing back into her at the situation they were in, the reason why Ann was here.

Marian left them alone, and Anne only nodded towards her room as she stepped aside and closed the door behind them. “Come on. I’m guessing you’re here to pick your stuff up.”

Ann entered shyly as if it was her first time visiting, biting her lip nervously as she turned back to Anne who stood tensely at the door still. Only then she realised what she said. “W-what?”

Anne frowned. Was she trying to annoy her on purpose, make this more painful than it already was? “Your clothes.”

She didn’t miss the hurt flash over Ann’s face at the harshness of her tone, and for a moment she regretted it. _Get yourself together._

Ann shook her head. “Oh, I… no. I’m here to talk to you.”

Anne took a few steps closer, crossing her arms in front of her. “What’s there to talk about? You’ve made your choice.”

Whatever optimism Ann had felt tentatively grow inside her alongside the apprehension as she’d made her way over to Shibden had been crushed the moment Anne had opened that door and she’d gazed into those eyes that had nothing but hurt and cold in them when they looked at her. Had she been foolish to assume she’d have any chance with Anne anymore?

She felt small standing in front of her with an invisible wall between them that felt so dividing they might as well be worlds apart. Ann swallowed, remembering Catherine’s encouragement as she looked up.

“N-not voluntarily,” she responded with glazed eyes. “I want _you._ ”

Anne scoffed, glancing away briefly before looking back at her. Ann looked so fragile before her, and yet the words she’d spoken only angered her at this point. What kind of game was Ann playing? Did she come here to torment her further in her heartbreak by twisting and turning the blade that was stuck in her chest?

Anne ran her fingers through her hair. She was so tired. “Ann, what are you doing here?”

A tear escaped Ann at the hurt tone in Anne’s voice. Pain that she had caused by being a coward and not choosing that which they both wanted. If there was a God, she hoped they would listen to her now and help her make this right. She mustered all her courage before she spoke.

“I love you, Anne. I meant it, and I still do-“

Anne’s face twisted in pain. “Ann-“

Ann gently held up her hand. “Please give me a chance to explain.”

Anne nodded slowly. She was already broken, what more could Ann destroy?

“I love you,” Ann started again, finding her voice filling with more strength as she focused on the feelings for Anne that were living in her heart and had been the only reason she’d been able to get out of bed at all lately.

“And I want to be with you. I always have. I’m not going to get married because I can’t stand the thought of being apart from you for the rest of my life.”

Anne stared at her blankly for a long moment as she tried to process her words. Did she dare hope? After all of this? Her mind said no but her heart screamed yes. She let her arms fall to her sides as she looked at her and saw no signs for insincerity in her eyes.

“Do you… do you mean it?”

Ann took a step forward so they stood right in front of each other, nodding as she reached for her hand and took it when Anne didn’t pull away. “Yes, I do.”

She could still see the flickers of doubt in those beautiful brown eyes as Anne stood there apprehensively, biting her lip as she seemed to consider her words. It pained Ann to think she trusted her word so little now, but she also couldn’t blame her one bit.

At the same time, she knew she needed to put everything on the table if she wanted even a chance at getting Anne back.

Squeezing Anne’s hand, she brought it forward and clasped the warm skin with both of her hands, looking intently at Anne.

“I’ve known for so long that it’s always been you I wanted, and no one else. I just never found the courage to act on it. Until Christopher’s party. The first time I just went for it and didn’t look back.”

Ann smiled when her thoughts went back to that one fateful evening, the first time she’d felt a bright spirit of courage embolden her as she decided that one night that, screw it, she’d go for what she desired. And she’d been successful.

Anne couldn’t stop the soft smile from growing on her lips alongside Ann’s as she remembered that night when it had been her who was swept off her feet so effortlessly by Ann.

“I didn’t really think about what would happen after, and when you wanted to be together with me too, I could barely believe my luck,” Ann continued as a tear escaped her. Her expression fell though when she thought about all the complications she hadn’t foreseen.

“And then when I realised how brave I needed to be to get what I wanted, and how much the thought of my family finding out scared me, it overwhelmed me.” She rubbed affectionately over Anne’s knuckles as the older woman nodded, her eyes glazing over.

“I’m not confident and strong like you are, and I’m so sorry that I hurt you by being so weak,” Ann whispered as more tears ran down her cheeks, “Only in my darkest moments I found the strength to do what I should’ve done already.”

Anne squeezed her hand, looking at her with such raw feelings in her eyes it took Ann’s breath away. There was conflict there too, doubt and sadness. But Ann took a deep breath as she steadied herself and focused on the love she saw there too.

“Anne Lister, will you marry me?”

The following moment of silence felt deafening as Ann’s heart pounded in her chest. This was it, all or nothing.

Anne inhaled sharply, blinking once, twice as her brain tried to process what was happening to her on this crazy day. Ann just proposed to her. In her room, at Shibden. Entirely out of the blue. Was this some sort of cruel dream she would wake up from any moment?

No, as she looked at her and into those deep blue eyes, she realised this was as real as it got. Ann had put all her cards on the table and chose her. And her heart wanted nothing more than to say yes.

Ann looked at her expectantly, worry worming into her thoughts as Anne only stared at her seemingly in deep thought about this question. Ann licked her lips, hoping Anne wouldn’t feel the cold sweat forming on her hands as they kept holding to hers – had she missed her chance? Had she lost her and there was no way back into Anne’s heart now?

“I… I need some time, Ann. This is all very sudden,” Anne responded softly, her eyes filled with emotions Ann couldn’t properly read. Her heart dropped at the response, her eyes filling with new tears as what she feared became reality right in front of her.

Anne put her other hand over Ann’s. “This is not a no. I just need to wrap my mind around it all, okay?”

She smiled softly, and while it only did so much to ease Ann’s worry, she nodded. “Okay.” It wasn’t a no. She repeated the words to herself in her mind.

They stood silent for a few moments before Anne freed her hands from hers but stayed close. “What about your family? What did you tell them?”

Ann had done her best to try and ignore that topic as she’d focused all her energy on Anne, but the question brought back the uncomfortable reality. She shifted on her feet. “Nothing. I more or less ran away from a date with my husband-to-be, and here I am.”

Anne arched an eyebrow, erupting into a surprised chuckle at the news. “You did what?”

Ann shook her head, smiling despite the horror of the situation she’d gotten herself out of. She guessed telling her like this did sound kind of comical, which was probably for the better – she didn’t want to upset Anne again telling her in detail what went on.

“Eliza lied to me. I found that out the hard way when he told me that I didn’t actually have a choice but that he’d been chosen for me and everything was already planned for us to marry in three weeks.”

Ann looked at her with a sad smile as Anne’s eyes widened before her expression shifted to disgust at the news. “I panicked, and then it all hit me that I just couldn’t go on like this. That I didn’t want to spend my life with anyone but you.”

The angry lines on Anne’s face softened at her words, and Ann closed her eyes the moment she leaned forward and pressed a brief kiss to her forehead. “Oh, Ann.”

“Eliza overstepped. This is unacceptable,” Anne said as her expression hardened again. Ann nodded, already feeling better at the supportive words.

“So they don’t know yet?”

Honestly, Ann hadn’t thought about it all that much since she rushed away. They probably did know by now though. “By now they probably do. No idea what that means for me, but I’ll probably lose access to my money soon enough, and likely my house too.”

Anne nodded thoughtfully as she let that sink in. Ann really had done it. For her. “You can stay here tonight of course. We have a spare room.”

Though grateful for the offer, Ann still felt the sting that Anne was offering their guest room instead of sharing her bed as before. She guessed she should’ve expected it though – Anne had every right to keep her distance after everything.

“Don’t worry,” Anne soothed as if reading her mind. Then she turned to the door, gesturing for Ann to follow her. “I’ll show you the room.”

Anne left her to herself after showing her the little room that had a small bed, desk and a closet in it and nothing else. Ann was grateful that she had somewhere to stay that wasn’t Crow Nest, too worried that Eliza would come by in the early morning hours to do God knows what. In a way Ann felt like a criminal on the run from the police, and Anne had generously offered her a place to stay low for now.

Whatever else happened time would tell. Ann had contacted James to bring round a few more of her things, and she quickly texted Catherine to update her on the news as she sat around in the small room waiting for time to pass.

Anne certainly didn’t want to be around her right now she thought, and as much as it hurt, Ann respected her need for some distance to think it all through. To say she felt anxious about the result was an understatement, but she tried to keep her hopes up. Her phone chimed.

_Cath:_ _You’ll be fine, don’t worry! :)_ _She’ll say yes, I know it._

Ann smiled. Ever the optimist, that one. She spent a few more hours by herself, looking up more about York and how they could get married there – it kept her spirits up to plan ahead, to look at ways to get there – looked like taking the train was the best option – and finding out more about how it worked in this place.

It was time for dinner at the Lister’s when she was done. She was apprehensive about it, worrying Anne’s family would hate her after what went on, but received only kindness from her aunt and sister, though the latter seemed a little puzzled but was clearly making an effort to play along anyway. Anne herself was uncharacteristically mostly quiet, but the little smiles she gave her the few times their gazes met were at least encouraging and soothing the anxiety in Ann’s heart.

Still, she only found sleep late into the night as thoughts kept swarming through her mind. What if Anne came to the conclusion she couldn’t do this? That she didn’t trust her enough anymore?

Ann kept tossing and turning until exhaustion took her in the early morning hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This got rather long, so I made a cut at this point. Will try not to keep you waiting too long for the next one :)


	10. Chapter 10

Ann wasn’t sure how much she’d slept when the series of knocks to her door woke her, but it couldn’t have been much by how groggy she felt and that it was still dark. Her eyes felt glued shut so she kept them closed and pulled up the warm duvet to her neck.

“Yeah?” God, her voice sounded rough, didn’t it?

“It’s me. Can I come in?”

Anne. She sounded slightly apprehensive from what Ann’s sleep-clouded mind could tell. No amount of tiredness could stop the excitement at the familiar voice from taking a hold of her though.

“Of course.”

She forced an eye open when the door creaked and Anne entered, clad in her boxers and loose top, her hair messy from sleep still. She sat at the edge of Ann’s bed, and when Ann managed to fully open her eyes and take her in in the mostly dark room, Anne smiled.

“It’s early, I know. If this is a bad time, I can-“

Ann shook her head. “No. It’s okay.”

Anne nodded, resting a hand on the shape of her body over the duvet. “I couldn’t sleep anymore. I needed to see you.”

Ann suddenly felt wide awake. “Did you?”

“Mhmh,” Anne hummed. “I’ve been thinking about what you said, and what you asked me.”

Ann looked at her with lips parted in anticipation, her hand gripping the duvet as she readied herself for either the best or worst thing she’d ever been told.

Anne licked her lips, suddenly looking nervous herself as her free hand fingered the hem of her shirt.

“I…” she shook her head as if displeased with that start, looking back at Ann before taking her hand in hers. The warm touch immediately relaxed her.

“Before you came along, I was trying to make it work with someone else for round about twenty years. We were even engaged at one point, you know.” She almost had to scoff now at her own foolishness, but it was always easy to be smarter in hindsight.

Even in the half-dark room Ann could clearly see the emotion in her eyes as Anne looked intently at her. “But it meant little to her, apparently, because at one point she left me to get married to an older man. Just like that.”

Ann slowly nodded. She’d had no idea about all of this, but it started to make sense how the entire situation must’ve felt to Anne, first the threat of Ann doing the very same to her and getting married to another, then her sudden return and proposal. Not that it wouldn’t have been difficult for anyone else, surely, but she could see now how Anne’s background must’ve made all of this more painful. She swallowed thickly, feeling tears prick at the corners of her eyes as she let it sink in how much she must’ve hurt Anne.

Anne squeezed her hand. “The past is the past, and you did what you could.”

Taking a deep breath, she continued, “You know, after she betrayed me like this, I naively let myself be dragged along in a pathetic excuse for an affair for _years_ and wasted my time. It left a mark on me, as you can imagine.”

“That sounds awful. I hope you’ve kicked her out of your life for good after all that.”

Ann was aware she’d not been great with her decision-making either, but good lord, someone who played with Anne for actual years without regard for her feelings wasn’t just a bad decision-maker but a grossly selfish individual. She’d give that woman a piece of her mind if she ever came across her.

“I have. It took me a while, but I have.” Anne bit her lip briefly, deciding it would be better not to mention to Ann that it had been Mariana who’d sold out their little secret and started trouble for them. It would do no good, and she didn’t want to dwell on it anymore.

“And I’m telling you this because it’s an important part of me, a part of my past I’m not proud of but that formed me.”

The soft smile she was giving Ann dropped as she thought of the last days’ turmoil. “I wish I could’ve been stronger, but when you told me about the marriage, it shattered me and I thought ‘this is it’.”

Her voice broke at the last part, and she blinked away the tears that were glazing her eyes over, looking up when Ann sat up and rubbed along her shoulder. “And then you came back so suddenly and asked me to marry you with a clarity and sincerity in you that made me speechless, but I was too scared to commit.”

“That’s okay,” Ann whispered, moving the duvet to the side and shifting so she was sitting next to Anne, their knees touching. The little touch was electrifying, reminding Ann just how much she’d missed Anne.

Anne leaned into her, putting her hand on her back where her flimsy nightgown was covering her. “But I’m not scared anymore,” she whispered. “I love you, Ann. And I’d be so proud to be your wife.”

Ann was sure her heart skipped more than just one beat in that moment. She looked into Anne’s face for any signs this was a dream, or that this could not be happening, or it was a lie or anything that made it not true. But there was nothing of the sort.

There was only the soft touch of Anne’s lips as they captured hers, the gentle rub of her hand along her lower back, and the way they both hummed contentedly as if they’d been starved off each other for far longer. Anne kissed her with a softness that made her want to cry and hide in the safety of her arms forever.

Two broad smiles were on their faces when they parted, and Ann felt like all her troubles had been blown away into nothingness in a matter of minutes.

“I have a suggestion to make about this,” she started, almost feeling giddy now that she knew Anne was going to be her wife and her thoughts went back to the research she’d done last night.

Anne raised an eyebrow in intrigue, but before Ann could speak, a long yawn escaped her instead. Anne chuckled.

“I think that suggestion can wait. You should get some more rest.”

Ann nodded, but looked at her with her brow furrowing in worry. “What about you?”

Anne looked past her at the bed. “Well, this is a small bed, but if we squeeze together, we could make it work. What do you think?” She smirked.

Of course there was no reason at all why they couldn’t just go back to Anne’s room where there was plenty of space in her bed, but Ann was thrilled at the thought of having no choice but to press tightly together in the small bed that was definitely not made for two people.

She nodded, slipping under the duvet again and moving all the way to the edge, looking over her shoulder as if to tell Anne ‘get over here now’. Grinning, the older woman got under the duvet immediately and pressed her front to her back, sighing at the warmth and the scent of Ann all around her. It was a tight squeeze, but they made it work. Anne didn’t want to change a thing about it.

Ann hummed contentedly as she pressed back against her, smiling when an arm securely wrapped around her waist. Sleep was already looming on the horizon again as her lids felt heavy. The last thing she felt before she drifted off were soft lips pressing to her shoulder.

****

She had no idea how much time had passed when she woke, only that it was bright now and – more importantly – she still felt the reassuring warmth of Anne’s body behind her and heard her gentle breathing.

Ann smiled, letting her fingers trail over the arm around her waist, her smile widening when Anne stirred.

“How late is it?”

“I’ve no idea.”

Anne only hummed and buried her head in the pillow. She was sure it must be ridiculously late for her who rarely slept in, but she couldn’t bring herself to care as it seemed the last days’ exhaustion had caught up with her and she only wanted to refill her energy by staying right here with Ann.

She shifted and kissed along the exposed part of her shoulder, smiling when Ann hummed contentedly. It hadn’t been more than a few days, and still it felt like they’d been apart for an eternity. Anne stroked along her stomach as she let her lips wander towards Ann’s neck to nip at the sensitive areas there to reacquaint herself with every part of her that had nearly been lost to her forever. God, she’d missed her.

Ann squirmed, all remains of sleep fading away with every second Anne’s touch was sending sparks and a growing heat through her body that was quickly becoming hard to ignore. When Anne gently sucked at her skin, she moaned softly and pressed her behind into her crotch, slowly grinding against her. Anne’s hand stopped wandering over her stomach and gripped her nightgown tightly as she groaned.

“Anne…”

“I’ve got you,” Anne lowly husked next to her ear, making Ann’s core throb and her heart leap. She couldn’t recall ever feeling this safe and happy before.

Anne’s hand pulled away from her middle, and she felt the loss acutely until fingers ran over her thigh, leaving goosebumps in their way. Anne slipped under the hem of her gown, and Ann shifted her position to allow for easier access.

She just wished Anne would hurry up, but it seemed her fiancée had all the time in the world as fingers ghosted over her hipbone and slowly drove her crazy when they teasingly pulled the waistband of her underwear. They trailed inward, and Ann tensed in anticipation only to be let down when they retreated once more. How long was Anne going to torture her like this?

But then, oh, then that hand moved to the apex of her thighs, smoothly slipping into her panties and trailing lower. The loud moan reverberating in the small room nearly drowned out Anne’s gasp when she found Ann warm and wet and coated her fingers in the sticky arousal.

“Fuck, you’re so hot,” she breathed as she let her fingertips dance around her swollen clit with light touches.

Ann sighed, pressing into Anne’s front desperately as her core was burning for more. “I need you.”

“I’m here,” Anne whispered, applying pressure to the sensitive nub and feeling Ann shudder against her.

“Harder, more,” Ann moaned. She reached for Anne’s wrist, tightly holding her in place as if worried she’d pull away.

That thought couldn’t be any further from Anne’s mind. All she wanted was for this beautiful angel to fall apart in her arms. She rubbed more firmly, insistently keeping up a fast pace as she felt Ann tense against her while her breathy moans were filling the room.

“Come for me.”

Ann was grinding hard against her hand with her hips while holding her in place with a vice grip on her wrist as the wave washed over her at Anne’s words. Anne whispered sweet nothings in her ear as she let her ride out the orgasm until Ann slumped and let go of her arm.

Placing a kiss to her shoulder, Anne found a smirk playing around her lips as she spotted the red marks on her wrist from where Ann had been holding on so tightly. They were fading quickly, but Anne was impressed that such a small woman could have such a firm grip.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to mark me.”

Ann turned to look at her with a puzzled expression. Anne lifted her arm so she could see, raising an eyebrow.

Ann bit her lip as a light blush tinted her cheeks, but then she had to smile mischievously as a thought came to her. “Maybe I was. So everyone can see you’re mine.”

Anne’s smirk faded and darkened eyes seemed to bore into her as she licked her lips, and whatever other witty remarks Ann may have had left her mind as a fresh rush of desire shot through her body instead.

“Is that so? I’m sure there are better ways of marking me though,” Anne said with a low voice, rolling Ann on her back and coming to straddle her.

“Like?”

Her voice sounded as weak in the knees as she felt looking up at this goddess of a woman resting confidently atop her as if it had always been her place to be – in a way it had been, Ann thought.

“Like…”

Anne leaned down and made for her neck, not wasting any time as her lips found her target and she sucked. _Oh._

When she pulled away after a few moments, she gave the result a pleased look and grinned at Ann. She could do nothing but grin back and shake her head at this perfect woman as she pulled her back down by her top and kissed her firmly, her hands coming to rest gently around her waist.

Having Anne’s mark on her neck and soon her ring on her finger filled Ann with pride. It was so freeing not having to worry about the wrong people spotting it, having to hide what she wanted to show off instead – and now she could, no Eliza or anyone in the way to treat her like a stupid child.

But those thoughts were blown away as she focused on that dextrous tongue sliding against hers and moved her hands under Anne’s top and up until she could tease her hardened nipples. Anne’s moan was lost between their lips.

An idea struck her out of the blue, the vivid images not leaving her alone though Anne was making it hard to even focus on those as she seemed to have her own ideas and again found the sensitive spots around her neck that she’d gotten to know so intimately. Her expert work made sure Ann found it hard to keep any coherent thought.

“Anne…”

Anne moved back to look at her with pupils blown wide. “Yes?”

Suddenly, Ann was feeling a little nervous – having sex was one thing, but talking about it sometimes felt awkward to her who’d had little experience to begin with before Anne.

“I was wondering, uhm…”

Anne looked at her expectantly, but with patience in her gaze.

“Would you…” she gestured above her helplessly, “on my face?”

It took Anne a moment to comprehend, but when she did she blinked, looking at her for a silent moment, and Ann’s heart sank as she worried she’d suggested the wrong thing. She wasn’t into that at all, was she?

Anne cleared her throat. “I, uh…”

In all honesty, Anne was completely taken by surprise by the suggestion. She’d done this before, sure, but not once had anyone suggested _she_ be the one on top. But Ann Walker only proved once more that she wasn’t like anyone she’d ever been with.

Still, she couldn’t deny the idea felt a little daunting, being so exposed and open when Ann decidedly wasn’t. Anne swallowed, but then Ann rubbed her arm with an apologetic smile.

“It’s okay. Maybe it was a silly idea, I just thought-“

Anne shook her head. “No, no. It wasn’t silly.”

As much as it made her nervous, there was also a part of Anne that was thrilled about trying this and finding out if it was for her or not.

Taking a deep breath, she sat up. “Let’s try this, I just haven’t- I just haven’t been the one on the receiving end before, not in this position anyway.”

She smiled, and Ann nodded in understanding as she saw insecurity but also affection and desire in her eyes. “Okay. We can stop anytime if you don’t like it.”

Anne slipped out of her boxers but kept her top on, placing a brief peck to Ann’s lips before climbing up her body.

Ann’s heart was pumping wildly in her chest as Anne settled atop her and lowered herself until she was hovering just above her. Ann wasn’t sure if she’d ever seen anything hotter as she looked up at Anne and nodded her okay and her fiancée slowly lowered herself further.

Both moaned when Ann’s tongue connected with Anne’s heated core. Anne held on to the headboard tightly, getting used to this unusual position but finding with every stroke and lick it became easier to let go and forget about her insecurities as Ann stoked the raging fire within her that drowned everything else out.

Who would’ve thought that she, Anne Lister, would find herself in this vulnerable position? She certainly didn’t expect to see herself here, sitting on Ann Walker’s face with small hands travelling to her ass to gently encourage her as she ground against her with increasing neediness, the firm muscles in her legs flexing with the effort.

“Ah, Ann...”

Ann hummed against her as she wrapped her lips around her clit and sucked, feeling Anne tense above her as she let out a breathless moan. She felt strangely empowered in this position, reducing Anne to a moaning, writhing mess atop her with her mouth alone.

Doubling down on her efforts, she held Anne in place against her face. Anne’s legs seemed to clamp around her head as she cursed and came with a sharp gasp. Ann greedily lapped up all there was until she felt her go limp over her.

It took Anne a few moments before she could feel her legs again and came back to her senses from the powerful high Ann had shot her to. Her joints popped when she awkwardly maneuvered so she could climb back down, about to roll her eyes at herself and her age when she saw Ann’s happy smile and all was forgotten.

She returned the smile and lazily ran her hand along her middle.

“Did you like it?”

Anne smirked. “Do you have to ask? Certainly you saw.”

Ann bit her lip, nodding when a grin formed on her face. Unravelling Anne like this was a special privilege, and every time she succeeded at it, Ann felt her chest swell with pride.

Lifting her arm invitingly, Anne looked at her with kind eyes. Ann didn’t need to be asked twice – being in Anne’s arms was her favourite place in the world. They lay pressed together in the small bed for a few moments longer before a thought came to Anne.

“What about that suggestion you mentioned?”

Ann moved back to look at her. Ah, yes. A swell of nervousness came through as she wondered if this wouldn’t seem sudden for Anne. Especially now that she knew more about her past.

But when she looked into her loving brown eyes, Ann decided to take heart and go for it.

“I spoke to Catherine, and, well – if this is weird or sudden or you don’t want to, I-“

Anne encouragingly ran her hand over her back, smiling. “Just tell me.”

Ann smiled, shaking her head at herself. “Okay, so,” she took a deep breath, “she suggested we could go to York and get married there, you know, like… very soon. This way my family has no way of interfering anymore. They’ll be presented with the facts and have to deal with it.”

Looking up at Anne with hopeful eyes, she waited for her reaction with her stomach tied in knots. Anne licked her lips as she took in the information, thoughtfully biting her lower lip. She hadn’t expected that at all.

“Okay… wow. I-“ Anne swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. This was all moving very quickly even for her.

Ann’s heart sank. It was too much, wasn’t it? “Maybe this was a stupid idea.”

Anne’s gaze met hers. She took her hand in hers, shaking her head. “No, I understand where you’re coming from, and- and it’s a very clever idea, you know.”

Ann nodded apprehensively. Somehow that didn’t sound like it should give her hope. “But…?”

_I’m worried you’ll get sick of me._ Anne’s thoughts went back to Mariana and the others. She’d never been enough for any of them, had she? Mariana had taken a little longer than most, but even she had seen it after a while and had left as a consequence.

If Ann married her before she’d had a chance to take a long, good look at her, she’d surely regret it sooner rather than later as boredom would eventually spread like a disease until Ann was absolutely sick of her.

Concern showed in those clear blue eyes as Ann wrapped her arm around her. She must’ve seen those worry creases form on her forehead, or the way Anne seemed so far away as those thoughts replayed in her head.

“Anne? What are you scared of?”

Anne forced a smile. _Nothing,_ was her go to standard response, _I’m not scared._ But she didn’t want to lie to Ann, and besides, the clever little woman would probably see right through her.

“This is so soon. I’m worried you’ll just grow sick of me before long.”

Ann’s face twisted in sadness. “Why do you have such a low opinion of yourself?”

Anne’s mouth fell open as she looked at her. It surprised her Ann was so openly stating it, but she was right. And the answer was just as clear to Anne.

“Because it’s never worked out… Everyone left.”

_And they were fools for it._ Ann frowned, placing a soft kiss to Anne’s lips. If she had to spend a lifetime convincing Anne she was a wonderful person who deserved to be loved, then she’d do it. “Their loss.”

Anne had to chuckle despite herself, despite her eyes glazing over at her own feelings of inadequacy. There was something to be said about Ann Walker’s ways of showing her so bluntly exactly how much she meant to her. Anne was quickly becoming a fan of it.

“Besides… I’ve wanted you for so long, I’ve daydreamed about what it would be like for years, and,” Ann smiled, squeezing her hand, “and then it’s so much better than any of those fantasies.”

What had she done to deserve this woman? Anne honestly didn’t know. A tear ran down her cheek as she brought Ann’s hand up to her lips and kissed her knuckles one by one while keeping her gaze on hers.

Everything seemed to come together in this moment. The voice telling Anne she wasn’t enough was becoming smaller, still there in the background – and maybe it always would be – but quieted enough by the love she saw in Ann’s eyes and the words she’d spoken with such honesty.

Where others had told Anne she was not enough this, too much that, weird in this way or boring in another, Ann simply took her exactly the way she was and loved her not in spite of herself but _because_ of who she was.

“Let’s go to York.”

They spent the next half an hour or so speaking about what Ann had looked up, and without hesitation agreed that they would take the train tomorrow. Anne would book them a hotel room for a few days today and make sure she had the time off as well as get them an appointment at one of the churches for the day after tomorrow.

Ann would sort out the train tickets, get in contact with Catherine to tell her the news and – this had been Anne’s idea – see if she could still transfer money from her family-controlled funds to her bank account. With any luck, it wouldn’t be blocked yet and she could save some of her money at least before it likely would be inaccessible.

Everything was falling into place nicely. They had missed breakfast with their late lie in, but couldn’t bring themselves to care as they got ready for the day alongside each other, talking about ideas for rings as Ann scrolled through various pictures online while Anne dressed. So far, they’d already agreed they wanted nothing too over-designed but rather a modest, simple style for their wedding bands.

There was a knock on the door just when Ann had gone for a shower and Anne was sat at her desk reading through her work-related mail.

“Yes?”

“Ma’am, Mrs Priestley is at the door. She wants to speak to you. It sounded urgent.”

The blood froze in Anne’s veins. _Well, fuck._ Her gaze fell over to the bathroom door where she could hear the stream of water. It was a good thing Ann wasn’t here right now.

Nodding to herself, she stood. “I’m coming.”

Eliza Priestley stood at her door with her arms folded at her chest, her brow furrowed and a thin-lipped smiled on her face when Anne came into view.

“Miss Lister.”

“Mrs Priestley.”

The atmosphere was ice-cold, and not just from the temperature outside. Anne mirrored her pose. She was done being nice with this woman after everything that she’d done and the ugly way she’d treated the woman she loved.

“I will make this brief. Have you seen Ann? She disappeared from her house yesterday. No one has seen her.” She paused, rubbing her wrist. “With what you’ve been… _up to,_ I wondered if she might be staying here.”

The disgust on her face was so obvious, it was clear she wasn’t even trying to hide it. Anne wanted to punch her. Taking a step forward so she was towering over the small woman, Anne looked her straight in the eyes.

“Even if I knew where she was, I wouldn’t tell you so you can make her miserable,” she hissed in her face.

It seemed to startle Mrs Priestley. She stumbled backwards, her eyes wide as she took in the imposing figure before her. But then she seemed to catch herself, straightening her posture and lifting her chin.

“Make her miserable? Miss Lister, you should know better than to talk about things you know nothing about.”

Anne snarled. “Know nothing about? It’s funny because I was going to say the same thing about you – you clearly seem to understand nothing about what makes Ann happy.”

Mrs Priestley looked her up and down with disdain. She scoffed. “Oh, but you know? I don’t think Ann needs the advice of a woman who has spent decades of her life making herself known as a skirt chaser by frequenting married women’s beds.”

Ah, there it was. Anne was expecting her to follow it up with a rant of how sickening and wrong it was, but she guessed the disgusted looks she was giving her were enough to get that across.

But she wouldn’t step to that level, no. She’d spent years withstanding such attacks by furious husbands and the like. While she could deal with the attacks on her person, how Eliza had treated Ann was hard to stomach and fuelled her resentment, though.

Anne exhaled deeply, clenching and unclenching her fists a few times as she focused on letting go of the seething anger inside her.

“No, I don’t claim to know what’s best for Ann. But I give her the freedom to choose for herself. She chose me because she wanted to. That is the key difference between us.”

Taking a step back, she left a dumbfounded Mrs Priestley standing there. “Maybe think about that. I have nothing else to say to you. Good day.”

It felt good to be shutting the door in her face. Anne even smiled proudly when she climbed back up the stairs – she’d never seen Mrs Priestley of all people speechless before.

She found Ann standing in her room wrapped in a towel. The way she was looking at her she knew she’d seen the exchange downstairs.

“What did you say to her?”

Her face was unreadable, so Anne approached her with care. Was Ann worried she’d said the wrong thing?

“In a nutshell, I told her to go fuck herself.”

Ann blinked, looking at her blankly before starting to giggle. “What?”

“She wanted to know where you were, I lied I didn’t know and we had a brief skirmish before I told her to leave.”

Ann calmed, stepping forward to wrap her arms around Anne. “I hope she believed you. I don’t know what I’d do if she, I don’t know, turned up here when we leave tomorrow.”

Anne rubbed over her shoulder. “Don’t worry. She won’t. And even if she did, what’s she going to do? Call the police?”

Ann found a smile grow on her face. Anne certainly had a point. There was no way Eliza could stop them.

“Last I checked leaving my house isn’t exactly illegal.”

By the time they retired to Anne’s – or rather, as she’d emphasised, _their_ bed for the night, all the planning for their spontaneous trip was taken care of. Ann’s bag sat neatly packed in the corner, and Anne’s half-packed one lay next to it. Ann had given her a funny look about it, but Anne had confidently explained she always packed most of her stuff right before leaving since she had a habit of often forgetting things if she packed in advance, and anyway it was the most time-efficient way to go about it. Ann wasn’t so sure, but let Anne be Anne even as she went on about the importance of efficiency. An insistent kiss shut her up eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this makes up for the angst of the last chapters :) Don't worry though, more fluff and smut coming up before this story is going to wrap up.


	11. Chapter 11

Anne hummed contentedly when she woke up in the early morning hours, feeling bright and rested. A smile grew on her lips when she looked over to where Ann was resting against her with her leg slung over hers and her arm across her stomach. Her future wife, she thought proudly and stroked over her hand.

Ann pressed more tightly against her, mumbling something incoherent in her sleep. Anne chuckled softly before gently untangling herself without waking her and sneaking over to the bathroom.

When she stepped out, she found her fiancée not so asleep anymore, insistent blue eyes on hers.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you when I got up.”

“Doesn’t matter. Get back here,” Ann demanded with a low voice that sent thrills through Anne’s body.

She was over in a heartbeat, taking Ann’s offered hand and letting herself be drawn back into the cosy warmth of their bed. Now that she was closer, she could see how wide Ann’s pupils were as she looked at her and licked her lips before pouncing and capturing hers in a passionate kiss.

Caught off guard by the sudden move, Anne groaned but recovered quickly enough, going along with Ann’s insistent pace while reaching around and sliding her hand under her nightgown. She grinned when she palmed the curve of her ass.

“No underwear, Miss Walker?”

Ann moaned, blindly fumbling over her shirt before gripping the fabric and pulling Anne with her so she rested on top of her. Placing sloppy kisses along her neck, Anne’s hand found her breast and brushed her fingers over the nipple that was straining through the fabric of her gown.

Ann’s hips insistently bucked against hers, and Anne grinned. “Already?”

“Please, Anne…”

“Mh, someone’s impatient this morning…” Anne drawled as she let her hand wander down her body painfully slowly.

Running her fingers over her thigh, she looked right into Ann’s eyes, “What am I going to do with you?”

Ann spread her legs wider. “I can think of a few things.” Her voice ended in a gasp when Anne bunched up her gown and moved her hand inwards.

“So can I.”

Anne hovered over her as she moved her fingers through her wetness, growling when Ann impatiently pressed against her, slinging her arms around her strong shoulders to pull her in.

“You’re gorgeous,” Anne whispered, lining her fingertips up with her entrance and starting to press forward-

Both twitched at the shrill sound coming from Anne’s side of the bed. Anne blinked, holding still and looking over to her alarm. Ann groaned underneath her.

Anne swallowed thickly and reluctantly moved off her to turn it off, biting her lip as she stood and Ann looked at her with a puzzled expression.

“There’s no time. I’ve got to pack.”

“Anne…” Ann whined. “Please.”

She didn’t care how needy she sounded, she was practically burning up inside and all Anne could think about was packing?

Anne bit her lip. This wasn’t any easier for her. “If I don’t do it now, there’s no time.”

Moving over to the closet to sort out the clothes she wanted to take, she turned to Ann who was now sitting at the edge of the bed looking dishevelled and ready to drag her back into that bed. Anne smiled apologetically.

“I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you.”

She grabbed a stack of clothes and neatly put them in her suitcase.

“At least this proves that I was right.”

Anne turned to her. “Mh?”

“Packing in advance is better. We’d still be in bed now if you’d done it too, you know.”

The self-satisfied smirk on Ann’s face was saying it all. She added a little confident swagger as she moved over to their bathroom.

Anne grumbled. “It’s still more efficient time-wise. What’s the point in packing the night before when I have to open it up again the next day because I forgot something and to add the stuff I still use in the morning, mh?”

She pointed to Ann’s toothbrush as she put some toothpaste on it and looked at her through the mirror.

“That takes like two minutes. And sex beats efficiency, don’t you think?”

Well yes, Anne would definitely think so. Not that she’d admit it though. “Well, I couldn’t know you’d be so on fire this morning.”

Ann hummed. “You know now.” Smiling, she put the toothbrush in her mouth.

****

As planned, everything was packed and they’d had breakfast by 9.30 and were ready to leave. Anne noticed Ann glancing around when they went outside where their taxi had just arrived. She let out a sigh of relief when they safely got in the car and were driven off. Anne took her hand and smiled.

“I expected her to somehow just know and show up.”

“I know. It honestly wouldn’t have surprised me.”

Ann leaned against her shoulder. She knew it was silly to worry, but part of her had been wary after Eliza had found out about her and Anne so suddenly. It felt like the woman had eyes and ears everywhere, a frightening thought.

Now though, that they were on their way to the train station, Ann felt a sense of calm overcome her and the remaining stress and tension faded with every moment she felt the safety of Anne next to her and took in the fact that tomorrow she’d be married to the love of her life. She’d done it. Despite it all, she’d done it.

Ann wanted to scream to the world about it. The silly luck she ended up having. It was crazy. If some months ago someone had told her she’d be taking a train to York to get married to Anne Lister, she’d have called them crazy.

She briefly checked her phone for any messages, rolling her eyes at another few missed calls from Eliza. It had been a smart idea to mute her after Ann sent her a brief text not to look for her. This woman didn’t know what the little word no meant.

They arrived a few minutes later, in time for their train. When they got on the train and sat down in the stiff uncomfortable seats, Ann thought how silly she always found it that high-speed travel with the train to even the furthest districts never took longer than a few minutes but travelling by car was at a snail’s pace. If only those trains could be used anywhere, there’d be no delays because of traffic in the cities anymore.

The train quickly filled and left the station shortly after. The surroundings flew by so fast it was impossible to take anything in, which was probably the biggest downside to travelling this way. Minutes later they arrived in York.

New Halifax’ small empty train station paled in comparison to the one in York. There were multiple platforms and all kinds of people rushing back and forth between them either just leaving or hurrying to make it to their train in time. Many of them looked like tourists, families with screaming children and others with heavy suitcases eager to explore the city.

Ann was excited too. She’d never been to York but her research had shown her why the district was a popular one for all kinds of people to visit: there were big shopping malls with everything one’s heart could desire, restaurants across a variety of cuisines and price ranges, nightclubs that were open all night long, as well as casinos and – Ann liked the thought of that in particular – cosy cinemas. She’d never been to one before since a small district like New Halifax couldn’t attract enough visitors to sustain a cinema when most people preferred watching at home. She hoped they would find time to go and see a film.

Anne insisted on carrying both their suitcases and was grunting with the effort beside her as they exited into the cold morning air. Ann bit back her grin, knowing if she commented on it and offered to help, Anne would stubbornly refuse her.

They jumped into a taxi and were driven to their hotel, which – as it turned out – took rather long because the centre of York was packed with traffic. At least it gave them enough time to have a look around and discuss ideas what they wanted to do – other than getting married of course.

Ann had long thought about what to expect from their hotel because Anne had refused to tell her anything about it, insisting she should let herself be surprised. So she did. Her mouth hung open when the driver parked in front of the impressive building. It was clear that Anne must’ve chosen one of the pricier ones. Ann looked at her wide-eyed.

Anne smiled, placing a kiss to her temple. Knowing that Ann had grown up never wanting for anything, she’d opted for a luxurious choice. She wouldn’t admit it to her but Anne had to dig into some of the money she’d set aside so she could pay for it. It was a matter of principle to her that she could offer Ann the best for this special occasion, a time in their lives they would remember fondly.

They checked in and eventually were led upstairs to their room. It was spacious, with bright warm colours pulling Ann right in as she smiled widely and sat on the edge of the big bed right away, sighing when the soft mattress dipped under her.

Anne moved over to the window right away and looked out. “The sight is amazing, come look.”

They were rather high up in the building, and the sight reflected that when Ann stood next to her and took in the city buildings stretching before her eyes. Smaller ones next to the hotel which was in a quieter area but still close enough to the centre, taller buildings and even some skyscrapers in the distance. Ann could only imagine how amazing it would look at night time with all the lights and the vibrant colours of the billboards.

Anne wrapped an arm around her. “Do you like it here?”

Ann didn’t miss the flicker of uncertainty in her eyes. Smiling widely, she pressed against Anne and kissed her on the lips to chase away those worries. “It’s beautiful, Anne. I love it, and I love you.”

The tension noticeably faded as Anne let her shoulder slump a little more and smiled, following her as she pulled away to kiss her again. “I love you too.”

“And I’m glad. By the way, there is a spacious bathtub, at least that’s what it said online. We could have a look, though we should get going soon. Got some shopping to do.”

She winked, untangling herself from Ann and already marching across the room. Ann giggled, following her fast pace and silently vowing to herself she’d make it her mission to slow this woman down a little – at least sometimes.

Their first destination for the busy rest of the day was the jeweller. Luckily there was one not far from the hotel, so they decided to walk there and take in the vibrant city on their way.

It was a beautiful day, still relatively cold but not so much that it was unpleasant. They made a turn into what Anne told her was one of the more known shopping areas in York, a long broad street with all kinds of businesses lined up on both sides.

They frequently stopped to have a look at the wares on offer, discussing clothes – though really, that was more Ann discussing them and Anne mostly agreeing with her – and shoes and accessories. Ann practically had to drag her fiancée away from a window displaying all kinds of watches with various technical accessories. Of course that’s what Anne was most interested in, she thought with a shake of her head and a smile. One of those days, she’d buy one of them and Ann could just see herself frowning trying to talk to Anne while she was busy staring at her new watch.

Eventually they found the jeweller’s, easy to miss between a coffee shop and a department store. It felt strangely surreal when they entered, the clerk greeted them and Anne took in all those display cabinets with various rings and other jewellery on offer. In that moment it hit her that his was real, that she was doing this; she was buying their wedding rings with her fiancée who’d be her wife come tomorrow.

Ann squeezed her hand, and when she pulled herself out of it and looked into her loving eyes, she knew that Ann felt it too. Nodding at her, she led her to the nearest cabinet and they began looking.

“Can I help you?”

Anne looked up at the clerk who was smiling politely as she approached them.

“Ah, yes. We are looking for wedding bands.”

The clerk nodded. “Okay. Do you already have a rough idea what kind of design you want?”

She looked at Ann who seemed more focussed on the rings in the cabinet than the conversation, so Anne turned back to the clerk.

“We’ve had a bit of a talk about it, and we know we’d like something a bit more on the plain side. Not too overdesigned.”

“Sounds good! I think I have a few rings you might like, if you’d just follow me-“

“What about this one?”

She stopped in her tracks, and so did Anne. Ann’s eyes were on hers as she pointed at a ring in the cabinet. The silver reflected the light shining down from the ceiling nicely, and Anne liked the beautiful simplicity of the shape that was mostly plain with two lines carved into it that were intertwining. It reminded her of how her and Ann’s paths had crossed so unexpectedly at that party and had weaved together ever since.

“Why don’t we have a look.”

The clerk immediately opened the cabinet and took out the ring in question to show it to them. It was rather small and judging from the looks of it, it might just fit Ann’s finger. She handed it to her, and Ann turned it over between her fingers as she studied it.

“What do you think? It immediately caught my attention.”

She handed Anne the ring who ran her fingers over the carved design and nodded appreciatively. There was nothing she didn’t like, but that didn’t mean she was satisfied yet. Anne hummed to herself as she thought it through.

Handing the ring back to Ann, she turned to the clerk. “What material is this ring made from?”

The clerk smiled. In fact, Anne didn’t think she’d seen her not smiling since she’d come over. She was thankful this wasn’t her job, she’d go crazy.

“This one right here is made from silver, but if you’d rather have the same design in, say, gold, we could craft that for you and have it ready to pick up in less than twenty-four hours.”

Okay. So far, so good. Anne rubbed her chin in thought. Silver wasn’t quite what she’d had in mind, but if Ann wanted it, she would be fine with it too. Looking over, she saw her trying to slip the ring on. It was too big.

Ann smiled. “I really like this one. Just need one made in my size. What do you think, darling?”

Anne wasn’t sure if it was the way Ann looked at her with so much adoration, or the pet name, or the fact that this was happening while they were shopping for their wedding rings, but either way, she felt her heart leap as a broad smile grew on her lips and she realised she’d never felt this happy before.

“I think it’s wonderful. However, it would be better if we got it in a sturdier material. Silver scratches easily.”

Ann chuckled. Such a typical thing to say for her fiancée. She didn’t mind the choice of material too much, as long as it wasn’t gold. Gold felt like the choice her family would want her to make, and it was the kind of ring she’d had in her first marriage but had never worn. Choosing something different was important to her. Something that emphasised that this time she was getting married because she wanted to, to the woman she loved.

“Okay. What about white gold?”

After that was settled, they got their sizes measured and the clerk promised to have the rings ready for them next morning so they could pick them up before their appointment. Ann’s bright smile seemed to be rivalling the sun when they left the shop and the butterflies were causing chaos in her stomach, and Anne’s grin was saying it all as she reached for her hand and clasped it securely in hers.

The next stop was a clothing shop Ann had dug up online that apparently had a good selection in wedding themed wear. However, when the growl of Ann’s stomach reminded her it had been a fair few hours since breakfast, they stopped by a café and each had a sandwich before going straight to the shop. Anne had planned everything meticulously but that didn’t mean they had a lot of time to spare.

More importantly, they had figured it would be better to have another pair of eyes around for each of them, so Anne had contacted Tib – who’d been rather surprised to hear of the marriage, to say the least – and Ann had managed to get Catherine on board to help choose a dress. They were scheduled to meet them in front of the shop at 2pm.

It was a bit of a rush making it there in time, and that was with Anne slowing herself down so Ann could keep up with her still fast pace. She hummed contentedly when they arrived at 2 on the dot and found Catherine waiting for them, waving when she saw them approach.

“Here’s the happy couple!”

Ann turned a bright shade of pink, while Anne only chuckled as she shook her hand in greeting.

“Miss Rawson, thank you for coming.”

“Please, you can call me Catherine.” She smiled.

Ann hugged her friend tight before turning to Anne.

“Where’s your friend?”

“Oh, Tib’s always late. But never more than seven minutes.”

Catherine raised an eyebrow, and Ann only shook her head and kissed her wife-to-be on the cheek. “Do you mind if we head inside already to have a look?”

“Not at all. Go ahead.”

“Don’t forget, no peeking allowed.” She gave Anne a meaningful look.

Anne raised her hands in defeat. “I wouldn’t dare.”

Well, maybe she would. If she got a chance to sneak a peek without being spotted, that is. Or she’d ask Tib if she ever showed up so she could describe the dress for her. Really, Anne couldn’t possibly be expected not to know what her fiancée’s dress looked like _at all._ For an entire day, no less. That was unacceptable.

She leaned against the wall nearby as Ann and Catherine disappeared inside and she waited for Tib. A brief check up on the stock markets showed no surprising news. Looking around, she spotted a familiar posh black car drive down the road and come to a stop right in front of her.

Anne smiled when a familiar sight exited the car and approached her.

“There you are.”

Tib took a good look at her up and down, making Anne take in herself with a puzzled expression. Was anything wrong with her?

“What?”

“Just taking in what my best friend looks like on the day before her wedding. Honestly didn’t think I’d see the day.”

She stepped close and enveloped Anne in one of those bear hugs that always crushed her a bit and made her clothes smell of cigar until the next wash. Tib smiled, nudging her shoulder. “I’m happy for you, both of you.”

Anne nodded appreciatively. “I’ll tell you all about it when we’re looking at suits. Come on.”

The wedding themed section of the shop was bigger than expected, but in the other corner where the dresses were Anne spotted Catherine. No Ann though. Tib dragged her along to the suits before she could have a proper look.

“Woah. I mean, I had a rough idea that the Walker clan is a big backwards, but I never thought it’d be that bad.”

“I can’t quite believe it either,” Anne responded glancing at Tib through the mirror she was standing in front of dressed in an all-white suit. Running her hands up and down the smooth material, she frowned at her mirror image in thought.

“What do you think?”

Tib came to stand next to her, humming as she rubbed her chin. “I don’t know. White looks strange on you when I’ve seen you in nothing but black for years.” She lightly bumped Anne who briefly narrowed her eyes at her before looking back at herself.

It was true, she wasn’t quite used to the sight either. But she’d wanted to make a statement to herself and everyone who knew her by not wearing black for this special day that would turn her life around. And what better way to make such a statement than by wearing the exact opposite of her usual black?

Maybe a little colour couldn’t hurt though, she thought. “I think I have an idea.”

Anne quickly spotted what she was looking for, and when she found herself in front of the mirror again now with a light blue tie added to her outfit, she smiled contentedly, and Tib gave her a thumbs up. She turned to her.

“That’s settled then. I’ll go change. Will you look for Ann? I’m not allowed to see her.”

Tib raised an eyebrow, grinning. “You’re so whipped. I’ll have a look.”

Anne decided to ignore that comment, though she knew it to be true. She shook her head at herself when Tib walked off, smiling sheepishly.

She’d just gotten changed back into her regular clothing when her friend returned and let her know Ann was nearly done.

As they went to the counter to pay for Anne’s suit, she turned to Tib. “What did she look like?”

Tib gave her a sideways glance, stopping. Then an amused grin formed on her lips. “Oh no. We’re not going there. You’re not getting a word out of me.”

Anne frowned. “Come on, Tib. It’s not like I’m breaking any rules if you’re just describing her to me. I haven’t technically seen her, have I?”

Tib shrugged, but then shook her head resolutely. “Nope, not gonna work on me, Lister. My mouth is sealed.”

Unfortunately, if Anne knew one thing about her friend, it’s that she was stubborn to the point where trying to convince her was a complete waste of time. Groaning in frustration, Anne moved along to the counter.

“I will say that she looks stunning though.”

Anne smiled to herself. She had no doubt about that.

Not much later, Ann and Catherine came out of hiding and paid for their things too before meeting Tib and Anne outside the shop.

Ann was almost giddy with excitement now that she had a beautiful dress that she couldn’t wait to put on and see Anne’s reaction to. And she considered herself lucky that Catherine had been able to join her and help pick the dress and reassure her that she looked ‘absolutely great’ in it.

Tib had her driver come over and pick her up, saying she still had an appointment and would see everyone for the wedding tomorrow. Catherine was staying at the same place as them, so the three walked the way back together and agreed to meet up for dinner at the hotel’s restaurant later before splitting to go to their rooms.

Ann sighed when they were alone and she kicked off her shoes and let herself fall on the soft bed. It didn’t feel like they had really done all that much, but she still felt exhausted from all the decision making and thinking things through that she wanted to be absolutely right for their special day. She was grateful in that moment that she didn’t have to organise an entire reception for their wedding – the stress of getting that just right would’ve likely driven her crazy.

She glanced to her side when the bed dipped and Anne crawled towards her, letting herself fall next to her and draping her arm over her midsection. Ann hummed contentedly when soft lips kissed first her cheek, then her jaw, and finally her lips, lingering close for a moment.

A moment Ann used as she pressed forward and captured them again, smiling against Anne’s mouth at the unbelievably lucky turn her life had taken as of late. She wrapped her arms around her shoulders, grasping the fabric of her shirt; in that moment, her mind briefly strayed, wondering what kind of suit Anne had chosen for their wedding. It was black no doubt, and oh, Ann knew she would be effortlessly handsome in it. She couldn’t wait to see it.

Anne’s tongue darted out against her lips, pulling her back to the now as Ann readily opened her mouth and tilted her head to deepen the kiss. Her busy mind was calming down as Anne’s skilled tongue worked on scattering whatever thoughts were trying to come to the surface and only left her fiancée with a growing heat.

She slotted her leg between Ann’s, eliciting a moan. Anne had every intention of making up for their lost opportunity this morning, the embers from earlier quickly burning bright and hot once more the longer they kissed and Ann’s fingertips drew those maddening circles on her back while keeping her close.

Until she pulled away from her mouth, looking up breathless and with dilated pupils before gently pushing against Anne’s shoulders. Oh, it was hard. So hard. But Ann had this all thought out and she was nothing if not committed, even if it broke her a little inside right now.

Anne gave her a puzzled look. “Is something wrong? Did you not want to-“

Ann smiled at her, reassuringly leaning in to kiss her chastely. It was painful when Anne’s eager mouth immediately followed her when she pulled away again so quickly.

“No, I do. But we can’t.”

That response did nothing to ease Anne’s confusion. Can’t? Oh, but then it clicked. “Ah, you’re-“ she gestured a bit clumsily before finding the right words, “time of the month?”

That would be incredibly poor timing but they’d deal with it, Anne thought even as a sliver of annoyance at the unfortunate timing came through.

Ann shook her head, gently chuckling. “No. Don’t worry, it isn’t that.” Reaching up to brush a strand of hair from Anne’s face, she added softly, “We’re getting married tomorrow. I think we should wait until then.”

Honestly, she hoped Anne wouldn’t ask her why – which she likely would though – because as it stood, Ann didn’t really know why exactly she’d thought of this and why it was important to her, she just knew it was and that it would make it even more special if they held out for tonight, even if it was hard. After that, they had each other for a lifetime. The thought filled her with excitement.

Anne slowly nodded, dumbfounded as she rolled off her. Then her expression changed as she looked at Ann and smirked. “Didn’t seem to be all that important to you this morning, Miss Walker.”

Blushing, Ann looked away. Well. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that she only came up with her little idea on their journey here this morning. Anne’s smirk widened. She looked so pleased with herself – that just wouldn’t do.

Ann tried to play it cool as she leaned close and pressed a sweet kiss to her fiancée’s soft lips. “Well, it matters to me now.”

Darkened eyes seemed to stare right into her soul as Anne licked her lips, and whatever resolve Ann built up just moments ago seemed to start crumbling at that fiery look in her eyes. Would she cave?

“If that’s what you want. I can wait.”

Anne looked at her for a long moment before hopping off the bed and sauntering towards her suitcase still unpacked near the door. Looking over her shoulder, she winked at Ann who was now staring at her like she was seriously questioning her wish.

Of course she respected her wife-to-be’s request. Though that didn’t mean it was easy for Anne as she battled with herself to drag her mind out of the gutter. It also didn’t mean she would make it easy for Ann.

****

They met Catherine for dinner at 7pm, a waiter leading them over to the table she was waiting at. Ann sat opposite her and next to Anne, and they ordered wine and chose what to eat.

Ann was silently grateful that the only person in her closer family circle who had her back and the woman she loved were getting along so well. It was lovely, or rather it would’ve been perfectly lovely if not for how utterly distracting Anne was.

At first her hand was innocently clasping Ann’s – so far so good. Only that she started rubbing these circles on her hand that kept drawing Ann’s mind away from the conversation and to her, and when she’d look at her, all she’d get would be one of those charming smiles that would one day be her undoing.

But that wasn’t so bad. Ann had been coping okay, and she knew most of her distraction was since she was still feeling the effects of not allowing Anne to ravish her earlier. That was her own fault though, she reminded herself.

What was worse was when Anne’s hand shifted to her thigh. That was when Ann really started to struggle, when fingertips idly rubbed from where her dress covered her legs over the hem to her uncovered knee. Ann pressed her thighs together tightly, torn between the pleading gazes she was sending Anne which were only answered with little knowing smirks, and grabbing that hand to inch it higher, only for Anne to move it back down casually.

She knew exactly what she was doing, and Ann was her helpless victim. The worst thing was that she loved this silent torture. It didn’t help that Anne’s profile looked particularly handsome tonight from the side, the way her jawline was illuminated by the dim ambient light and how animated she was as she spoke.

“Doesn’t it get dull though? Working for a bank, all those numbers and dealing with other people’s money all day.”

“Not at all. I guess it’s not for everyone, but I’ve always enjoyed numbers and the comfort there is in the predictability and reliability of them. And who doesn’t like money?”

Anne chuckled lowly, the timbre of her voice sending a flush of heat straight to Ann’s core as she tried to focus on what they were even talking about instead of the inappropriate images trying to push to the forefront of her attention. Anne glanced at her with a knowing twinkle her in her eye, only making it worse. Ann suddenly felt so hot.

“Everything okay, Ann? You look a little red.”

Ann didn’t miss the way Anne was biting her lip trying not to laugh next to her at the oblivious question from her friend. She forced a smile while reaching for her hand and clasping it tightly to stop Anne from drawing those circles across her thigh.

“Y-yes. I think I’m just feeling a little full after all the food.”

The answer seemed to satisfy Catherine, and Ann took a deep breath of relief.

“Oh, me too. I should probably head up in a moment.”

Ann loved her friend, but in that moment she was kind of relieved; she didn’t know how long she could’ve kept her act up when she was burning up inside, her hands sweaty and her heart pumping wildly in her chest. The next few minutes dragged on like hours until they finally made it back to their room.

The door shut, and Anne gasped when her fiancée pressed her up against it. The raw want in her darkened eyes made her swallow before Ann’s hungry lips claimed hers. Anne would be a liar if she said she wasn’t starved after all the build up, that she hadn’t spent the better part of dinner trying to keep her desire in check.

And yet. It took all her willpower, but Anne pulled away from her, and the desperate look in her eyes was worth it as she smirked.

“What about waiting for tomorrow?”

Ann groaned. She knew. She knew what she’d said. But God, she wanted to forget all about it right now and have Anne throw her on the bed and fuck her till they passed out from exhaustion.

“I-“

“No going back now, Miss Walker.” The soft kiss Anne pressed to her forehead belied the cruelty of her actions as she slipped past her. “I wouldn’t want you to regret it later.”

Ann was already counting the hours and minutes. Just another reason added to the long list of why she couldn’t wait to be married to Anne Lister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm currently a little busy with things and also working on my contribution to the Valentine's Day writing challenge at the same time, so if the next update takes a little longer, please bear with me :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you read:  
> I'm terrible at describing clothes, so here's a link if you want to see what I based Ann's dress off: https://www.jjshouse.de/A-Linie-V-Ausschnitt-Sweep-Pinsel-Zug-Chiffon-Spitze-Brautkleid-Mit-Spitze-002250151-g250151
> 
> Looking forward to getting marriage ads for months to come since Google will now think I want to get married :D

Ann woke up feeling well rested, with a lightness and joy surrounding her. She was usually often groggy in the mornings, even though she got enough sleep and stayed in bed long, but today she felt nothing but a deep happiness as the remains of sleep left her, a single thought filling her mind: Today Anne was going to become her wife.

She hummed contentedly before frowning as she noticed one important thing was missing: the familiar warmth of Anne’s body pressed against hers. Opening one eye, Ann was surprisingly met with the sight of Anne’s boxer-clad thighs in front of her.

“Sleep well?”

Ann craned her neck upwards awkwardly to meet the brown eyes looking down at her from where Anne was resting against the headboard reading something on her tablet. She groaned in response, reaching out for Anne’s thigh.

“You’re not down here.”

Anne chuckled, tangling her free hand in her hair and gently brushing through it. “I had to do something to keep myself entertained until you woke up.”

Ann dug her fingernails into the soft skin of Anne’s thigh just enough to be noticeable, burying herself in the warmth of the bed. How had Anne not put that tablet aside already to snuggle close to her?

“I’m awake now. But you’re still reading.”

She knew she sounded whiny, but today especially she was positively desperate for the comfort of Anne pressed against her. Luckily, despite the far too amused laugh that came in response, Anne put the tablet aside and slid down, and Ann immediately turned away with an expecting glance over her shoulder.

“So demanding,” Anne whispered close to her ear as she pressed her front into her back, making Ann sigh with contentment. “Is this what I have to live with for the rest of my days?”

Oh, Ann could hear the smirk in that voice. That voice that did things to her, with its low and smooth timbre. It was unfair, really. She pressed into Anne’s crotch without being able to help herself – maybe this cuddle hadn’t been a good idea, she thought as she remembered her wish to wait until they were married.

She pulled her mind out of the gutter, a soft smile growing on her lips as the meaning of Anne’s words sank in and her heart started beating fast for another reason entirely as her stomach filled with excitement and butterflies.

“Oh, you just might have to, yes.”

Anne pressed a soft kiss to the exposed part of her shoulder, humming as she tightened her grip around her waist, pulling Ann more firmly against her. Ann was convinced there wasn’t a single place in their world she’d rather be. She briefly considered just keeping Anne in bed all day.

“Are you going to show me your dress?”

Ann shook her head with a smile. This woman was impossible. “Anne… you know the rules.”

Anne peppered her shoulder with kisses now, soft lips wandering to her neck. Ann knew exactly what she was doing, but she was determined not to give in.

“Come on, just a small peek.”

Ann tilted her head to look back at her, finding her eyes already focused on hers. “No. No chance. And besides, you’ll see me later anyway. Just a few hours.”

Anne groaned, but when Ann didn’t show any signs that she’d concede, she huffed. “Fine.”

They spent a few more minutes in bed like that before the growl of Anne’s stomach reminded them they better get up and ready for breakfast. They had a long day ahead of them. Ann couldn’t get the smile off her face when she stepped under the shower and kept imagining their marriage.

****

Unlike yesterday, they had the luxury of time with their wedding only scheduled for 3pm. Ann was glad about that when they took their time with breakfast and Catherine didn’t have to rush to pick up their rings and the flowers.

Anne even asked her to go on a little walk together just after noon, and despite the light drizzle outside Ann agreed. It felt so natural by now to be holding that hand in hers, to listen to Anne as she went on about this and that, only to end up telling her one of the stories of her earlier life, when she travelled a lot – not just through the districts of their colony, but through all kinds of women’s beds as well. Ann wasn’t sure when the supply of stories would end, but she did know that she wouldn’t mind listening to Anne and her captivating tales for decades to come. And the loving smiles she got in return when Anne saw the interest she received were a nice bonus.

On a normal day, Anne would’ve likely frowned at the light rain and the grey cloudy sky that happened to be their setting for the wedding. It was less than ideal, not exactly inspiring joy, and while it was winter and Anne hadn’t exactly expected a light summer sun, she had hoped for at least a clear bright sky. Still. Today wasn’t a normal day, and with everything she’d ever wanted and dreamed of right here, only hours ahead of her, she couldn’t bring herself to be bothered by the less-than-ideal weather as Ann’s delicate finger ran over her hand when they stopped in front of a shop so Ann could look at the clothes on offer.

Part of Anne thought all of this felt surreal, like she was stuck in the best dream of her life and would be woken by her alarm any moment now to find her bed empty and only unread hurtful messages by Mariana waiting for her. But then Ann leaned up and pressed the gentlest of kisses to her cheek, and Anne pressed into her side with a soothing warmth spreading through her chest. This might feel surreal, and it was a dream for sure, but one they had made come true.

****

Anne still tried to wrap her head around the reasons for why Ann had insisted that they’d each travel to church separately as well before they’d get changed into their wedding attire there and would only then see each other again. She wasn’t entirely sure she could follow the logic of it but had agreed since it seemed important to Ann that they spend the last hour or so apart.

Ann flashed Anne a final smile before leaving her in their room to meet Catherine and go to church together, and the moment Anne was left to herself – of course Tib was running late again – her nerves started showing as she paced in front of their bed, biting her lip as the peace and calm she’d been feeling all day was replaced with restlessness.

The knock to her door interrupted her chaotic thoughts, and she was grateful for it.

Tib’s grin was replaced with a frown the moment Anne let her in.

“You don’t look like someone who’s about to get married.”

Anne licked her lips – Tib had known her long enough, really, there was no hiding anything from her. So she didn’t even bother pretending she was alright as they walked over and sat next to each other on the edge of the bed.

“I don’t know, Tib, the moment she left I started worrying.”

Tib reassuringly placed a hand on her shoulder. “What’s there to worry about? Do you think you’ll, I don’t know, get sick of her?”

Anne frowned, shaking her head. “No, not at all. I’m concerned she’ll soon think I’m too old, too boring and too… _me._ ”

Did that make sense? Anne looked up carefully at her friend who wrapped her arm tighter around her.

“If this wasn’t your wedding day, I’d say you’re in need of a drink right now. To calm those nerves.”

She grinned, and Anne could only shake her head at her as she couldn’t help but smile despite herself.

“But really, Lister… don’t you think she would’ve dumped your ass already if she thought that?”

Anne swallowed. “Well, this is all rather rushed, isn’t it? She’s not had time to get to know me all that well yet.”

“And still, from what I hear, she’s had the biggest crush on you forever, hasn’t she? And she was the one who proposed.”

Anne looked up from where she’d silently been staring holes into the carpeted floor. “Well yes, but-“

Tib smacked her shoulder hard. “No but. I don’t know her very well but from what I can tell she’s the type of woman who knows what she wants and – once she’s put her mind to it – won’t stop until she gets it,” she paused, smiling reassuringly at Anne, “and the way she looks at you it’s very obvious she’s made up her mind."

That got a smile out of Anne as her thoughts calmed a bit. Tib was definitely a good judge of character, and it was true: even from that night she’d pursued Ann at the party – though arguably that had been Ann pursuing her, even if Anne would never admit that – it had been clear that Ann had wanted her and hadn’t been shy to go for the chance that presented itself to her. Sure, it had taken Ann a little while to find her courage to fully commit after that, but she’d done that too despite the odds.

Anne eventually nodded as she realised she was overthinking this, likely a result of her past with Mariana and the other women who never quite saw her as good enough. But this wasn’t about them anymore. Anne had finally found someone who accepted her for who she was. She felt lighter as she stood.

“Well then, let’s leave.”

****

From the outside, the building their taxi dropped them of at looked like nothing special. Just like a standard bland office building really, if Ann were just walking past it and didn’t know what it was for. Only getting closer she noticed the sign next to the door reading _Cupid’s Wedding Chapel York._

Ann cringed a little – it was clear Anne hadn’t picked the place for its name, that was for sure. They went inside, and Ann immediately saw proof that judging a book by its cover was often not a smart idea.

The spacious lounge drew her in with the warm, bright colours of the marble floor and pastel walls, as well as the elegant design of the sofas and armchairs and the largely wooden furniture.

The woman at the reception straight ahead waved them over right away with a friendly smile, and Ann and Catherine headed over.

“We have an appointment for a marriage, it’s under Lister.”

The woman’s eyes lit up in recognition. “Ah, your partner got here just a few minutes ago. Please follow me.”

The woman led them away through a corridor with many doors on each side, stopping in front of one. “You can change in here. We will pick you up once it’s time. Please don’t hesitate to ask us if you need anything.”

She opened the door and left them with a smile. The room was comfortable enough, plenty of space, cabins to change in and big mirrors as well as vanities. Catherine gently hung up the dress on a nearby hook before going over for the minibar straight away. Ann rolled her eyes. _Of course._

Her thoughts went to Anne, wondering if she was already dressed or what her and Tib were doing. She couldn’t wait to see her.

Not much later, Catherine and Ann were having a laugh as Catherine helped her friend get into her dress, not without the expected lewd remark about her lace underwear, of course, and the blush Ann couldn’t suppress in return.

Catherine gave her an appreciative look in the mirror, nodding proudly when Ann stood fully dressed and slowly turned looking at her reflection with a scrunched-up face as she checked for any imperfections but found none.

She’d already liked this chiffon dress the moment she’d spotted it in the shop, with its revealing but not too revealing v-neck and her exposed arms and back. Catherine had attested that her behind looked great in it too, so that had been a selling point as well.

“I’ll be surprised if Anne can even take her eyes off you for five seconds.”

Ann giggled, biting her lip as she imagined it, how the official might have to repeat themself if Anne hadn’t been listening while staring. Then again, Ann was certain she’d have a similar problem with Anne who was going to be ridiculously handsome even if she decided to show up in sweatpants and an old t-shirt, at least as far as Ann was concerned.

Now the only things she still needed to get in place were her hair and make-up. She’d long pondered whether she’d want to go for an elaborate hairstyle, but had eventually decided against anything too fancy. She wanted to look normal, the way Anne usually saw her on most days. So she brushed through her blonde curls, the long hair falling freely over her shoulders, tucked behind her ear on one side. Ann took a similar approach with her make-up, a bit here and there but nothing too extreme.

“You look stunning,” Catherine commented with a smile when Ann turned and presented herself.

Ann smiled, then looked her friend up and down in her own pink dress. “So do you.”

They turned at the sound of a knock to the door. A quick glance at the clock revealed it was time. “Let’s go and get you married.”

****

The wedding room looked beautiful. It had a similar lively style as the lounge, Anne noted as she looked around and tried to focus on the bright walls, modern art and the rather comfortable looking wooden chairs facing the front. There was probably room in here for about twenty people or so, Anne estimated, but in reality most of the time it would probably hold a smaller audience due to the spontaneity of most marriages done here.

Really, Anne didn’t care too much about any of that though. It was merely a pathetic attempt to try and keep her nerves in check, a substitute to focus her mind on so she wouldn’t start fiddling with her impeccable suit or anything else that showed how nervous she was, in front of Tib no less – she’d never hear the end of that. No. Anne Lister was cool and collected, even on her wedding day. She tried to ignore the fact that Tib had already seen her in disarray earlier when picking her up. That never happened.

The official, a young woman with short dark hair and a long black dress, entered the room from the other side and took her place in front of Anne, nodding at her with a smile. Anne turned towards the double door she’d walked through herself only two minutes ago, preparing herself mentally for what was to come.

She couldn’t have. The heavy doors opened with a squeak, and from that moment on all Anne could focus on was the heavenly creature walking down the brief carpeted way with purpose next to her best friend. The way her dress flowed as she walked step by step closer to her, the v-neck that teasingly invited Anne’s gaze to linger but didn’t show too much to be inappropriate, the way small hands held onto the bouquet of pink roses, and lastly – most importantly – that soft smile on those perfect lips as blue eyes focused on her with a determination that blew away any remaining fears Anne might’ve still had in an instant. This was happening, this was real. Ann loved her.

It felt like the moments were passing in slow-motion, as if they were stuck in some sort of universe of their own where nothing else existed. If that was the case, Anne never wanted to leave. She barely registered Catherine sitting down next to Tib when they reached the front, could only stare as Ann came to stand next to her, shoulders forward and head held high with a vibe that said it all: _This woman is mine._

Anne couldn’t have stopped the tear escaping if she’d tried. Had there ever been a time someone had wanted her this much? As she was, not despite but because of who she was? She was speechless.

Ann smiled before turning behind her to hand her flowers to Catherine, but all Anne could see was her exposed back, and she resisted the urge to reach out and run her hand over the smooth skin.

The official started talking when Ann had turned back around. “We are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses to join Ann Walker and Anne Lister in marriage.”

Ann reached out to take her hand in hers, and Anne squeezed it gently, smiling at the familiar warmth that grounded her to the moment.

“We are here to share this important moment with these two as they set off together on a journey that, from today forward, they will be making together as wife and wife.”

“Anne,” the official turned to Anne so she knew she was meant, “will you take this woman as your wife, to share your life with her, to love and honour her, to faithfully stand by her side through the good and the bad, in sickness and health?”

Anne’s gaze didn’t waver from those deep blue orbs as she nodded. “I will.”

“Ann, will you take this woman as your wife, to share your life with her, to love and honour her, to faithfully stand by her side through the good and the bad, in sickness and health?”

Ann’s eyes glazed over as the words sank in and the reality of her dream fulfilled hit her all at once, nearly rendering her speechless until she remembered she had to give a vocal response to a question that had never been easier to answer. “I will.”

The voice of the official was nearly drowned from her consciousness, just barely noticeable at the edge as Ann focused on her handsome wife in her white suit – a welcome surprise, Ann had found the moment she’d entered the room and spotted her. It felt like a statement, in a sense, after seeing Anne in nothing but variations of black and grey for the most part. Those dark brown eyes that could certainly appear intimidating and at times cold to others were soft and deep with love as they focused on Ann’s. This look, she thought, was only for her.

“Ladies?”

It seemed Ann hadn’t been the only one focused solely on the woman in front of her. They turned to the official who smiled knowingly. “The vows.”

Ann blushed, and even Anne looked away a little sheepishly before clearing her throat. Ann’s heart pounded in her chest the moment her nearly-wife turned back to her and took her other hand in hers too, securely holding her.

“Ann, I… I’m not good with words, sometimes, and as you can imagine I’ve spent long and hard thinking about this.” Ann smiled. Yes, she could imagine.

“When you came into my life, I wasn’t prepared for what it would change in me. The way your smile, your kindness and your laugh would affect me. I was scared, but you showed me I didn’t need to be. From the first day, you’ve accepted me for who I am. I love you, and I promise to do everything in my power every day to make you happy, to be there for you when you need me, to laugh and cry with you.”

Anne smiled, freeing one of her hands to reach up and wipe away a stray tear from where it had escaped down Ann’s cheek. Ann wanted to scream it to the world how lucky she was. She tried to steady herself so her voice wouldn’t break as she spoke.

“I love you, Anne. In this short time we’ve been together, you have shown me a strength that has inspired me to fight for my happiness, to take back my right to make my own decisions. You’ve held me when I needed you, and you’ve encouraged me even when I didn’t believe in myself. Instead of looking down at me and telling me I’m weak, you’ve pointed out my strengths. Instead of controlling me, you’ve emphasised my freedom to choose for myself. And I choose you. I’ll do my best every day to make you smile, and I’ll comfort you when you need me to. This is my promise.”

Truly, Anne was glad she wasn’t expected to respond, because she found it impossible to find any coherent words in reply to Ann’s words and the butterflies currently causing chaos in her stomach. She didn’t even mind the tears running freely anymore, there was no stopping them anyway. A deep sense of peace overtook her, a strange concoction together with the seemingly endless excitement at a shared future with Ann, her Ann.

“Now, on to the rings.”

The official’s voice drew her back out of it, just in time for her to hand the first ring to Anne. She gave the fine ring a good look, smiling as Ann held out her small hand and Anne gently slid it on her finger.

“Ann, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow and my love and commitment.”

It fit perfectly, the light reflecting off the beautiful material. Her ring on Ann’s finger. She’d never get sick of the sight.

Anne held out her left hand, trying to steady it so the slight tremble wouldn’t be noticeable as Ann slid her ring on her finger.

“Anne, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow and my love and commitment.”

Ann bit her lip as she admired the result. All she’d ever dreamed of and more. Married to the love of her life. They were almost there now, and the thought made Ann smile so much it nearly hurt.

“With this, I pronounce you, Ann, and you, Anne, wife and wife. You may now kiss.”

They didn’t need to be told twice. Anne steadily wrapped her arms around her wife’s slim frame, smiling at the comforting warmth of their bodies close together again, finally, until their lips met in the middle in a slow, tender embrace. Ann’s tongue darted out briefly before she seemed to remember where they were, and Anne grinned into the kiss until they parted. Ann’s wide smile rivalled the brightness of the sun. Somewhere in the background, Catherine and Tib were cheering. They’d done it.

There was still the paperwork to be taken care of after, but it did nothing to wipe off the happy smiles from their faces as they put down signature after signature, giving each other looks and holding one another’s hands whenever there was a free moment.

Anne smiled in that way that always made Ann weak in the knees as they left the building and sat in a taxi to return to the hotel. “What now, Mrs Lister?”

Ann bit her lip at the ring of her new name. Would her heart ever stop jumping in her chest from hearing it, especially from her now-wife? She didn’t think so. What’s more, it felt freeing in another sense to be rid of another part of her family’s burden with her last name exchanged for Anne’s. That reminded her.

“Hang on, I need to take care of something,” Ann said as she took her phone out of her coat pocket and quickly took a snapshot of her left hand. Anne raised an eyebrow, but didn’t pry as she waited for Ann to type out her message.

Her wife had a content smile on her face when she put the phone away.

“Who did you send it to?”

Ann’s smile turned mischievous. “Eliza.”

Anne chuckled. “She’ll be delighted to hear you got married, I’m sure.”

Ann giggled, taking Anne’s hand in hers and resting her head against her shoulder. She was sure she’d never felt freer or happier in her life.

****

They returned to their room before long, and Anne went over to the minibar for a drink straight away. Ann found herself staring, taking in her wife properly now that they were alone.

Anne turned to ask her if she wanted anything, raising an eyebrow at her as she stared from a little distance. “You’re staring,” she pointed out with a smile.

Ann stepped closer, nodding. “You look great in white.” She gently pulled at her tie, smiling as she tilted her chin forward. “I’m thinking… you should wear it more often.”

Anne put her drink to the side without averting her gaze from her wife, leaning closer and tilting her head.

“I think I just might… Anything to make my wife smile,” she whispered before pressing her lips to Ann’s. She felt her smile against her lips as they kissed, and Anne wrapped her arms around her.

Only now Ann fully realised how much she’d been craving some privacy, some one on one with her favourite person in the world. She felt a familiar flame ignite in her belly at the warm press of Anne’s lips and the secure feeling of her arms around her, and Ann pressed herself against her as she deepened the kiss. It hadn’t been all that long, but right now it felt like an eternity since she’d had Anne’s hands on her last, and she was desperate for it.

Anne seemed to be on board, she thought as her wife’s hands wandered to her hips and possessively held onto her as their kiss grew more intense. That was, until Anne abruptly pulled away and dilated pupils met hers.

Ann frowned in confusion.

Anne nodded to her side where a clock displayed the time. “We don’t have enough time before dinner with the others.”

Of course Anne would’ve kept track of that. It hadn’t even occurred to Ann, but looking at the clock showing they had about an hour left, well, it wasn’t a lot. But still.

“It’s enough for a quick one.”

Anne chuckled, pressing a brief kiss to her lips. “Yes, but I want to take my time with you later.”

The meaningful look that Anne gave her and that promise were doing nothing for Ann’s current state of arousal as she pressed her thighs together and bit her lip. On the one hand, Anne had a point and she wanted nothing more than for her wife to thoroughly ravish her later. On the other, though, Ann was entirely unconvinced if she’d survive for that long.

Anne’s smile turned into a smirk as she took back a step before Ann got any ideas. She gave her bridal dress a good look up and down, licking her lips. “This is not any easier for me, believe me.”

With that look on her face? Oh, Ann did believe her. Images of what they’d do later flooded her mind, and of the countless past situations she’d seen that look on Anne’s face, like when she’d wear the strap and-

Ann swallowed, her mouth dry as an idea came to mind.

“Did you bring the strap?”

Anne lowered the drink she’d been sipping from with a smirk. “What do you think?”

“Well,” Ann shrugged almost casually, wrapping her arm around Anne’s waist from the side before standing on her tiptoes so she could reach her ear.

“I want you to wear it. While we’re having dinner.”

Anne nearly spat out her drink, putting the bottle down before turning to her wife and only seeing desire in her darkened eyes. She meant it. Anne seriously wished they had more time right now so she could alleviate this tension between them by putting on that strap and fucking her wife on every surface in this room.

She wanted to respond but found that speech eluded her, so she only nodded before rushing over to the drawer she’d stored the strap in. She still needed to get changed before dinner, but under no circumstances did she want to forget this now essential detail – not that she would. The thought of wearing the strap all throughout dinner made her hot, even more so knowing that Ann didn’t only want her to but had requested it – none of her past lovers ever had asked her such a thing, and it thrilled her how much want she’d seen in Ann’s eyes.

They quickly got changed – separately, since none trusted they’d make it to dinner otherwise – with Ann putting on a figure-hugging red dress with an enticing slit at the side giving a far too distracting view on her legs, as well as the entirely unfair way it pushed up her breasts so it felt like Anne’s gaze was magnetically drawn to them. How was she going to survive the evening like this, especially with the tight feeling of the strap between her legs serving as a constant reminder of what was to happen after dinner.

Ann was in no better position. She was convinced suits had been invented with the sole purpose of making her wife look even more handsome than she already was. Any suit really, though the white wedding suit had been her favourite. Still, the dark grey one with red tie and white shirt she had put on for dinner was nearly as good. And what was worse was that Ann kept thinking about her little request, and that her wife had gone through with it. Her heart was already pumping fast with her constant flow of arousal as they left their room for dinner – this was going to be a challenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed. Writing the marriage part was a super difficult challenge for me since I knew nothing about marriage procedures and the like even in my native language. But Google is a blessing. I tried to go with a non-traditional marriage here and I hope it met your expectations :)
> 
> Initially, I'd planned not to split the chapter where I did, but I didn't want to keep you waiting any longer and it would've likely also made the chapter too long. Next one should be up in less than a week.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much no plot in this chapter :)

Catherine and Tib were already at their reserved table in the hotel’s restaurant when the couple arrived, and Tib smirked knowingly when they sat down next to one another on the bench seat.

“Got held up?”

Anne only gave her friend a long look as she slid in place next to her wife.

“Don’t look at me like that, Lister. I know what you’re like.” Tib grinned, and Catherine chuckled next to her.

A quick glance at Ann revealed she was biting her lip, and when their gazes met, Anne saw the want in her eyes and knew exactly where her mind was. Probably had been since they’d left their room. Anne swallowed.

“See, that’s what I mean right there. You see that, Catherine? They can’t wait to be rid of us so they can shag all night.”

Tib was having far too much fun with this.

“I mean, I can’t blame them. They are a hot couple,” Catherine teased with a smirk.

“Cath!”

Catherine grinned at her best friend across the table, raising an eyebrow. Ann was convinced these two had plotted to tease them all night. When she looked over at her wife, she found her gaze already on her with a softness that immediately drew a smile on Ann’s face. For a moment, it seemed like it was only the two of them at the table.

“And these looks. I think I might be sick-“

Anne turned her head at the interruption, narrowing her eyes at Tib who held her hands up in defeat. “Alright, alright. We’re only riling you up a little.”

“But we’re happy for you,” Catherine added with a smile. Then her expression shifted, her eyebrows going up as she seemed to remember something.

“Oh, talking about being happy, I’ve got some very outraged messages by Eliza… What did you say to her, Ann?” She looked at her friend with amusement.

Ann almost casually reached for Anne’s hand to hold it in her own as her eyes twinkled with enjoyment at the pleasure she derived from sending Eliza that image and text.

“I just told her I got married like she wanted me to, although not to the first rich asshole I could find but to the woman I actually want.” She didn’t need to look to her side to see Anne’s smile, feeling her wife’s warm hand squeeze hers.

“And I added if she ever mentally arrives in the 21st century she’ll find me at Shibden.”

Tib’s roaring laughter in response drew a few frowns from tables nearby. “Every minute I can see it more clearly why Lister fell so hard for you. A woman after my own heart!”

Turning to Anne, she added, “Finally made a good choice. Took you long enough.” She winked.

Anne only rolled her eyes, but not without smiling. She knew that not only had Tib a point, but that she meant well. How many times had her friend tried to tell her over the many years that Mariana wasn’t a good choice, that there must be someone else out there? Well, she found her now, she thought as Ann smiled sweetly at her.

After ordering their food, they chatted a little about their honeymoon plans, which the two hadn’t really been thinking about all that much yet. They’d booked their room for a few days longer to explore and enjoy their time in York, but hadn’t thought about plans any further than that. Maybe now was a good opportunity to brainstorm a little with their friends and go through some ideas.

Or maybe it would’ve been a good idea. If Anne could concentrate at all, which she probably could if not for the hand that had settled on her thigh and was rubbing far too innocent circles near her knee, slowly inching closer to the strap.

Looking over, she found Ann casually making conversation with Tib and Catherine as if she wasn’t currently stroking dangerously close to where the strap was pressed against Anne’s leg. Anne tried to pay attention to their words but Ann’s nimble fingers monopolised every bit of concentration she had.

Then, _oh,_ that hand slid over the strap and Anne clenched her teeth to hold in the groan as the sensation travelled straight to her core. Part of her wanted Ann to stop in this public place, another part wanted nothing more but for her to go on. Well, it was out of her hands anyway, that much was clear when she sought eye contact and Ann licked her lips as she properly gripped the shaft.

Anne tensed in her seat, her willpower crumbling as her heart pumped wildly in her chest.

“Yeah, I totally think you should just take a few weeks away from everything and do whatever you feel like- you alright there, Lister? Looking a little red.”

Anne cleared her throat quickly, nodding. She could see Ann biting back a grin at her side. Oh, she’d get back at her for this when they were alone. But for now she needed to calm down or she’d embarrass herself in front of Tib and Catherine, or hell, the entire restaurant.

“I’m always alright. If you’ll excuse me for a minute.”

She gave Ann a long look as her wife moved to let her get up. Anne could feel her stare on her even as she turned and rushed for the toilets. She took a deep breath the moment she locked herself in one of the stalls, closing her eyes as arousal pumped through her veins. Her mind filled with filthy images of what she wanted to be doing to Ann right now but couldn’t. She took a deep breath and forced them away, trying to focus on something more innocent.

A smile formed on her face as she thought about the situation she was in: married to the kind, sweet and ridiculously hot woman that was Ann Walker – now Lister, she corrected herself proudly – whose mind was just as firmly stuck in the gutter as her own. Her perfect match in so many ways. What wasn’t perfect about this? Anne nodded to herself as she focused on how happy she felt in this moment on this day, pushing her desire for her wife to the side for now until later. She left the stall with the smile still in place, still in her thoughts.

Maybe that was why she didn’t see it coming when a small frame crashed into hers and pushed her right back into the stall before locking it behind them. Her eyes went wide as they locked onto familiar blues. Ann pressed her up against the wall, kissing her fiercely.

Anne moaned, instinctively wrapping her arms around her wife and holding her close before she even caught up with what was happening. So much about keeping herself in check. It seemed Ann had other plans entirely.

Ann kissed along her neck to her ear, fully pressing against her wife’s body. She nearly lost it right then when she felt the strap against her, starting to grind against Anne as best as she could as she breathed next to her ear.

“I can’t wait, Anne. I need you inside me.”

Anne let out a shaky breath as she held onto Ann tightly, her hips rolling forward of their own accord while she was fighting with the urge to give in and take her now in this stall. Ann reached down and took the decision from her as she hurriedly popped open the button of her trousers and impatiently dragged down the zip.

Their gazes met. Ann’s face was so close, all Anne needed to do was close the gap between them, lose herself in another heated kiss before pulling down her panties and pressing her up against the wall to fuck her. It was so easy. And she needed this, they both did.

But still. Anne didn’t know where she found the willpower to reach down and gently move Ann’s hands from where they were about to pull down her boxers.

Ann’s eyes went wide as Anne pressed a soft kiss to her forehead while trying to calm herself as much as Ann.

“Not here. Not like this.”

The desperation she saw in Ann’s eyes certainly mirrored her own, and it was almost painful to have to deny her when it felt like they’d been waiting for this for too long already. But this was their wedding day.

“I want to take my time with you, make love to you properly. Not a rushed fuck in here.” She waved her hand around the stall. Admittedly, since the restaurant was expensive the stall was clean and not shabby at all. But it was still a public toilet. That was not how Anne wanted to think back to the first time they had sex as a married couple.

Ann’s expression softened as she nodded, a smile growing on her lips. “You’re right. I just couldn’t help myself… but you’re right.”

She pressed a soft kiss to Anne’s lips before reaching down to fix up her pants. “Shall we go back then?”

Anne nodded. They’d better. Though she could already hear the teasing coming their way as soon as they’d return to the table. But she’d survive that.

What she was not so sure she’d survive was more of Ann’s teasing. She’d hoped that after their understanding in the bathroom her wife would keep her hands to herself, for both their sakes. And at first she did.

That was until the wine started to have an effect on her and she became tipsy, showing in how Ann became more talkative, waving her hands around much more than usual when she spoke. This was the first time Anne was seeing her wife in this state, and she’d smile and call it adorable if not for the fact that tipsy Ann clearly also became more touchy, and soon her hand found its way to Anne’s thigh again.

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat as fingers ran up and down the strap before circling the tip, nearly making Anne jump as she bit her lip to hold back a groan. Luckily despite her tipsy state Ann managed to be discreet enough about it so neither of their friends noticed. That didn’t change that Anne was finding it harder with each second to focus as all her pent-up desire came back with a force.

Looking over, her gaze lingered on the way Ann’s chest looked in that dress, and she wondered how long it would be until she could fill her palms with her soft breasts and roll her nipples between her fingers. Moving up, Ann’s full lips drew her in as she spoke animatedly. Anne’s throat was dry as she craved the feel of those soft lips against her own. She glanced down at her legs, honestly that dress was made to make those look perfect, not that they weren’t anyway. Anne could practically feel them wrapped around her as their hot bodies grinded against each other over and over-

The sudden departure of Ann’s hand drew her back to the present at once. Their gazes met, the desire in Ann’s eyes obvious. Anne turned to the others.

“Alright, it’s been nice but we’ve got to go up for the night.”

“Sure. Don’t forget to sleep sometime, lovebirds.” Tib winked.

“Send me a message tomorrow, Ann, will you?”

Hands clasped together, they walked to the elevator as fast as was appropriate without drawing attention in the lobby. Anne was counting down the seconds until the doors opened, and again until they closed and left them a brief window of opportunity.

Hungry lips clashed against hers in an instant, and Ann moaned wantonly when Anne pressed her against the wall and cupped her breast with one hand while the other found her behind. She nearly forgot where they were until the elevator stopped and the doors opened with a chime. Reluctantly, they pulled apart.

Anne’s eyes were completely dark as she grabbed Ann’s hand and they rushed down the corridor to their room. She kicked the door shut behind them, their bodies clashing immediately. Relief washed over her that they were alone at last as their tongues danced around each other and Ann pressed against her insistently until her back hit the wood of the door. Then her wife’s hand slid down her body and Anne groaned as she bluntly gripped the strap, sighing as she pulled away from her lips.

“You’re so handsome,” she whispered breathlessly, and all Anne could do was writhe against her as Ann’s hands impatiently fumbled with the button and zip before almost forcefully pulling her pants down to her knees, followed by her boxers.

Anne’s core was throbbing with need… when had she last wanted anyone this much? She didn’t know, all her brainpower swallowed by her desire and the way Ann’s practised fingers tightened the straps so her cock stood in the air. She reached out and wrapped her arms around Ann, ready to carry her over to the bed or however far they’d make it until succumbing to their desire.

But then darkened eyes met hers and Ann licked her lips before lowering herself on her knees. It took Anne a moment to process what was happening, but when she did, Good Lord, she felt a fresh surge of wetness coat the insides of her thighs.

Ann looked up at her almost shyly from where she was head level with her cock. “If you don’t like it, let me know, okay?”

Anne could only nod quickly, swallowing thickly. Somehow she doubted there was a reality in which she’d dislike what Ann was about to do.

She tensed in anticipation, her breathing ragged. There was a moment’s pause before she felt the warmth of Ann’s tongue against her cock, running a slow line from the base to the tip. Anne shuddered, holding onto the cold wood of the door for support.

“Fuck…”

Looking down, she found Ann’s intense gaze on her already before she slowly leaned forward and – _God –_ wrapped her lips around the tip. Anne moaned both at the sensation and the visual of her wife on her knees submitting to her so fully.

As her head started slowly bobbing up and down, Anne saw stars. She wasn’t in control, not at all, the sparks of pleasure shooting through her core a firm reminder of it as she surrendered to Ann’s exploring mouth, the wet warmth that wrapped around her shaft over and over, sometimes alternated with quick flicks of the tongue against the tip.

It was almost embarrassing how quickly Ann reduced her to a moaning writhing mess, and all Anne could do was reach down and tangle her fingers in golden locks as Ann tore her apart.

She tried to keep a sense of control over herself even as she was approaching that peak rapidly, but there was no way as Ann’s mouth unravelled her, her hands gripping her hips tightly as she moved faster, her tongue seemingly everywhere at once. Anne couldn’t stop herself from grinding her hips in sync with her movements as her gasps and moans filled the room; she felt like she was about to explode.

“A-Ann, I’m-“

Ann hummed against her cock, the vibration travelling straight to her core as Anne tensed, holding onto her wife’s head for dear life as she came with a loud moan, her insides seizing with the powerful wave carrying her away.

The only thing she heard was her own laboured breathing as she came back down. She opened her eyes in search of her wife, finding her sitting on the floor looking up at her, her hair slightly messy, the downwards angle giving Anne a perfect view of her cleavage. Ann licked her lips slowly, and with that any fatigue and need for a break were forgotten in a heartbeat as Anne felt a rush of desire flood her senses once more.

She held out a hand to help her wife up, their gazes not once leaving the other as the air crackled with electricity.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you practised.” Anne gestured vaguely between her legs, smirking as her eyes narrowed as if she was watching the prey she was about to pounce.

Wrapping her arms around her wife’s strong frame, Ann hovered close to her mouth, her lips parted.

"I’m glad the ‘how to give head’ tutorials I looked at online were worth it.”

Anne wasn’t sure in the dim lighting of the hallway, but it looked like her cheeks were reddening slightly. Ann bit her lip seductively.

Anne hummed appreciatively at the information, reaching up to cup her wife’s cheek. It felt strange, but part of her was becoming a little sentimental knowing Ann had put in the time to look up guides to please her right. Who’d been this considerate with her needs before?

Anne smiled as she ran her thumb over the softness of Ann’s lip. “They most definitely were.”

She closed the distance between them for a kiss, both moaning when Ann pressed against her and the strap was pushing up against her. Anne pulled away to quickly shimmy out of her pants and kick off her shoes and socks before kissing her wife again and slowly walking them backwards, stopping when they bumped into the side of the sofa. Not quite where she’d wanted to end up, but Ann’s eyes were dark with want as she lay down and pulled Anne with her on top of her.

Ann sighed when she sank into the soft cushions and the comfort of Anne’s weight on top of her enveloped her. She wrapped her arms around her neck, urging her close and angling her hips up in a silent plea. Anne’s lips curled into a smirk as she let the strap brush against her belly over her dress, and Ann moaned both in frustration and want.

“Anne… come on.”

But her wife only looked down at her as she ran her hand up her side to her breast, brushing her fingers over the nipple that was straining through the fabric in its way.

“Oh, I don’t know… you’ve been teasing and working me up all throughout dinner. You’ve not been good to your wife, Mrs Lister.”

Ann groaned, but her heart went wide and her panties soaked through a little more at the use of her new name. She wouldn’t ever get sick of that smooth voice calling her Mrs Lister.

“I think you need a lesson in patience.”

Anne sat up, keeping eye contact as she slowly popped open button by button of her suit jacket before discarding it to the floor. Ann swallowed as she let her eyes rake over the display of her handsome wife in that tight white shirt and red tie, and Anne smirked as she let her hand run up Ann’s calf to her knee, bunching up her dress as her fingers trailed over her thigh.

Ann let out a shaky breath as she watched her with half-lidded eyes; she was so worked up, had been for most of the evening. This was becoming increasingly difficult to bear. She bucked her hips upwards when Anne’s fingers stopped just shy of her underwear.

Those dark eyes kept staring into the essence of her soul as Anne let her digits go over her underwear at last but stopping immediately as she raised an eyebrow in intrigue.

She broke eye contact to look down at the white lace underwear. Ann bit her lip as she studied her reaction, hoping Anne would like what she’d picked.

“Fuck, you’re so hot.”

Anne let her fingers go over the frilly material before drawing inwards, grazing her finger over the wet spot and her sensitive clit. Ann inhaled sharply.

“You’re so perfect,” she husked, leaning over her wife as she continued ghosting her fingers over her core, making Ann nearly lose the plot as she tried to concentrate on Anne’s words. “This dress, I’ve been looking at you all night…”

“And now the lace,” she breathed, pulling at the frilly parts. “I need to see you.”

Ann had no complaints about that as she sat up and Anne wasted no time pulling down the zip of the dress. She took it off, and she didn’t need to see Anne’s eyes on her to feel them raking up and down her body and the white lace that was doing a good job pushing up her breasts nicely, she thought proudly as Anne’s gaze seemed to get stuck on that part for a moment.

She nearly shivered when Anne crawled over her and pressed her back into the cushions, growling softly as she cupped her breasts. The strap brushed against her now naked stomach. Ann moaned, reaching up to pull Anne into a desperate kiss as she wrapped her legs around her and they started grinding against one another.

The tension between them became nearly unbearable, and Ann was considering begging if her wife didn’t fuck her soon. But then Anne pulled away, eyes wild as she shifted just enough to pull the ruined panties down her legs.

She let the strap brush against Ann’s exposed core, both moaning.

“Let me quickly get the-“

Ann stopped her with a firm grip on her wrist, getting her attention.

“I don’t need it.”

Anne’s core throbbed. She licked her lips, nodding slowly at the raw want in Ann’s eyes as she slid her cock through the ample wetness before lining the tip up with her entrance and pressing inside. Ann gasped at the stretch but took the entire length easily. It felt so fucking good.

There was no holding them back anymore as Anne started up deep long thrusts straight away, their pants and moans echoing in the room together with the filthy slap of their skin whenever their hips met.

“Harder.”

Anne growled, thrusting faster as she panted heavily next to her ear.

“Always begging me to fuck you harder and faster, is that it, Mrs Lister?”

Ann’s walls squeezed her firmly in response, and Anne moaned as Ann nodded vigorously, wrapping her legs around her. Anne grunted with the effort as sweat started running down her temples. Her peak was already looming at the horizon, the growing inferno stoked by Ann’s breathy moans and the way her core constricted around her cock, gripping her tightly whenever she pushed inside.

She watched the slight bounce of her chest in that ridiculous lace bra whenever her body shook with the force of Anne’s thrusts, the way her wife’s red lips were parted with gasps and moans spilling from her mouth, how her soft legs were gripping her hips snugly. Anne was convinced she was in heaven.

Ann looked up at her wife, finding a depth of affection and love in that feral gaze. This was only for her. She nearly came right then, holding Anne close and pressing her lips to hers in a sloppy kiss, moaning each time Anne filled her. Her body tensed with her approaching climax and the sudden pressure of her wife’s fingers on her clit.

Their gazes met. Ann felt herself overcome with an intense warmth. “I love you.”

There was no telling who peaked first, but they rode out the waves together, their sweaty bodies grinding against each other until Anne eventually fell limp on top of her wife with a grunt. For a few moments, only their breathing could be heard. Anne smiled when she felt the rapid beating of her wife’s heart.

“Satisfied?”

Ann smiled softly, brushing a strand of hair from Anne’s face. “For now.”

The older woman hummed, a twinkle in her eyes as she sat up to loosen the harness. Ann couldn’t quite say why, but watching her handle the straps so expertly was a turn on in of

itself, those dextrous digits going through the motions so fluidly because she’d done this so many times already. And would many more times, Ann thought.

The harness was thrown to the side, and Ann climbed into her wife’s lap, feeling her pulse quicken at the once more growing hunger in those brown eyes. “Take me to bed.”

Ann locked her arms securely around her wife’s neck as she lifted her up with ease, her legs wrapping around her as Anne carried her the short way to the bed as if she weighed nothing. Her strength – not only the physical aspect of it – would never cease to impress Ann.

Anne gently dropped her on the bed before removing her shirt, tie and bra and joining her. Ann was about to reach behind to remove her own bra when Anne shook her head, kneeling next to her.

“Let me.”

Ann was convinced her wife sometimes simply wanted to show off when she’d reach behind her with one hand to flick open the bra as if it was child’s play. It was some sort of magic trick as far as Ann was concerned who even sometimes struggled opening her wife’s bra with both hands.

She prepared for the material to fall loose around her, only for her wife’s face to scrunch up as she tried and failed to open the bra. Ann tried to bite back the grin, but it was futile.

“Having trouble, darling?”

Anne grumbled, and Ann thought she saw the hint of a blush on her cheeks. “This bra… as lovely as it is, it’s stuck!”

Ann chuckled. “Maybe use both hands.”

Anne shot her a sharp glance but seemed to realise she was right and reached behind with her second hand. After a moment, Ann felt her bra loosen. Her grin broadened.

“Not a word.”

“Or what?”

“Or,” Anne started as she flung the bra aside, “I’ll go to sleep right now.”

Ann frowned as she searched her wife’s face for clues on how likely that possibility was. “You wouldn’t.”

“Do you want to risk it?”

Anne’s gaze challenged her, and while she knew her wife wanted her as much as she wanted her, she also respected her stubbornness and ego. Luckily, Ann knew how to easily claim victory here.

Ann sat up, letting her gaze linger on Anne’s until she leaned close and ghosted her lips along her ear.

“No. But I do want my handsome wife to fuck me now.”

She barely had a moment until Anne’s lips fiercely claimed hers, her hands cupping her cheeks as she seemed to put all her desire into this kiss. Ann moaned, letting herself be guided backwards until her head hit the soft pillow.

Dark eyes flicked up to hers briefly as Anne’s insistent lips already moved on a determined trail along her neck to her shoulders, clavicle and to her breasts. Ann let out a shaky breath as teeth grazed over her nipple and lips followed to suck it in and let it go with a pop before Anne repeated the treatment on the other breast until Ann was starting to squirm impatiently underneath her.

But Anne only kept her hips still with her bodyweight, not deterred on her agonisingly slow tour downwards. For a few moments, Ann was convinced time had actually come to a halt as Anne’s lips took their sweet time plastering her stomach with kisses.

They moved on eventually, Ann’s muscles tensing as she prepared in anticipation for Anne to reach her destination. Their gazes met, and when her wife smirked up at her, Ann feared the worst – more teasing and stalling, no doubt – before Anne granted her mercy and pressed her lips to her clit in an almost shy kiss.

Ann sighed, pressing her hips forward for more. Anne slung her arms around her legs, opening her up before her mouth started an assault on her core, her dextrous tongue flicking over her clit over and over, spurred on by the breathless moans Ann couldn’t help but make.

She brought down her right hand to hold on to Anne’s head while the other gripped the sheets, tightening whenever Anne’s lips engulfed her sensitive nub and sucked, making her toes curl in bliss.

Then Anne stopped and shifted, untangling one of her hands from Ann’s legs, and for a moment she worried she’d be subjected to more teasing that she most definitely could not handle right now, opening her eyes when that hand reached up for her left, a finger running over the wedding band as Anne smiled.

Ann’s heart went wide as she returned the smile. Anne squeezed her hand softly before leaning back in, and whatever thoughts Ann may have had disappeared into thin air the moment Anne’s tongue continued unravelling her. Ann felt heat curl in her stomach, spreading out until her entire body was aflame.

“Oh God… don’t stop.”

Anne didn’t. She kept up her efforts, licking and nipping and sucking. With a final strike of her tongue, Ann’s body went rigid as she was pushed over the edge, crying out loudly as her hand kept Anne’s head firmly in place against her core.

She shuddered when Anne placed a gentle kiss against her sensitive clit in parting. Opening her eyes, she found her wife wiping her chin with the back of her hand, grinning proudly before climbing up her body.

Ann opened her arms with a satisfied smile, tasting herself on Anne’s lips when she kissed her. Her heartrate was slowing, the safety of Anne’s warmth pressed against her calming her and making her feel safe… and loved. Their colony had many beautiful places, but Ann knew without a doubt that the most beautiful of all of them was found in the arms of her wife.

Anne pulled away slightly to look at her, her eyes glimmering with a familiar intensity. “Ready to go again?”

Ann’s mouth watered, any oncoming sleepiness dissolving in an instant as the desire in her wife’s eyes replaced it with excitement and want.

Ann pulled her down on top of her. The night was still young.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With this, the story is pretty much at its end. I'll write a brief epilogue and that's it. I'm happy I managed to write a proper multi-chapter story again and hope you guys had as much fun reading as I had writing.


	14. Chapter 14

_About half a year later…_

Ann bit her lip, narrowing her eyes in concentration as she looked down at the tablet in her lap, then back up to the big apple tree, then back down again. Pen in hand, she corrected a few little things here and there before comparing with the tree once more.

Her frown dissolved into a content smile. Much better. She was pleased with her first sketch. Rising from the wooden bench she’d been sitting on, she gave the proud tree at the border of their property another look before turning to head inside, her summer dress flowing in the mild warm breeze as she squinted at the sun. What a lovely day it was.

Stepping inside the house, she took in the beautiful garden once more, a sense of happiness overcoming her. She still couldn’t believe that this was her life, that they’d found this wonderful little house and with the help of a loan had been able to afford it even without access to Ann’s fortune.

Her thoughts briefly went to her family. For a little while, she’d felt a sense of resentment – not because of the money or anything of the sort, but because they’d been denying her her right to make her own decisions and pursue her own happiness for so long. Now, however, she’d moved on and mostly didn’t even think of them anymore. There’d been a few awkward situations running into them in town, but other than that Ann was fine.

She smiled when a familiar purr could be heard and she felt soft fur rub against her leg. Turning, she knelt and put down her tablet to pet the ginger and white cat, taking her time scratching behind his ears where he liked it most. He pressed into her touch.

“Such a good boy,” she cooed.

Ann thought back to the day they’d picked Luke up from the animal shelter just a few weeks ago. The five-year-old cat had been shy around them at first, hiding away for days only coming out to eat and drink whenever her and Anne weren’t looking.

But then that one evening when they’d been on the living room sofa and an innocent kiss was turning into more, just when Anne had rolled her on her back, Luke appeared next to them and pawed Anne’s leg. Anne was still swearing to this day she’d not twitched and had most definitely not cried out in surprise – or fear, even, Ann thought with a smirk – when he’d lightly scratched her leg to get her attention. From that moment on, he’d shown up more and more frequently, and once he’d let them pet him the ice had been broken pretty quickly from then on.

Now here they were. Ann gave him another pet before grabbing her tablet and rising. It was then that she heard the front door close. A smile grew on her face.

She rounded the corner, silently watching for a moment as Anne took off her shoes and put them in their place in the hallway. Her hair was slightly dishevelled, contrasted by the smart grey blazer and white shirt combo that she wore, and those tight pants, Ann thought while licking her lips as her gaze travelled the same way it had this morning before her wife had left for work. How was she always so handsome?

Anne turned, her eyes widening for a moment as she caught Ann standing there staring. Then a knowing smile grew on her exhausted face. “Enjoy the view?”

Ann grinned, nodding as she closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around her wife before gently kissing her. “Very much. How was your day?”

Anne placed a kiss to her forehead before they moved on to the living room together. “Exhausting mainly. You know how it is, people can get fussy when it’s about their money and they’re worried they’re going to lose it.”

She moved over to their open plan kitchen, opening the fridge for a drink. “Zero trust in my abilities.” She shook her head at the memories popping into her mind in that moment.

Ann smiled, wrapping an arm around her waist as she stood beside her. “Well, then they’re stupid. I have faith in your abilities.”

There was a glimmer in her eyes as she spoke, and Anne chuckled as she poured herself some water. “Those aren’t the abilities that interest them when I shift their money around.”

She was about to lift the glass when Ann leaned in, humming as she placed a hand on her belly and moved her collar to the side to plaster her neck with kisses. “I’ve missed you today.”

Anne swallowed, her mouth dry as she closed her eyes and wrapped an arm around Ann. She was exhausted, tiredness weighing down her bones… all she’d been thinking of on her way back was to sit down on the comfy sofa with Ann and watch some silly movie cuddled up. And yet. A familiar warmth was spreading in her body with each press of those soft lips, chasing away the tiredness bit by bit.

She groaned, turning to Ann more fully and lifting her chin with her fingers to make eye contact. Her blue eyes had darkened, leaving no room for interpretation in what ways Ann had missed her today. Anne smiled – she was extraordinarily lucky to have Ann by her side, wasn’t she?

Brushing her thumb across her lip, she leaned closer. “I love you.”

She felt rather than saw Ann’s smile against her as they kissed, their bodies pressing together, seeking each other naturally as if they were magnets drawn to one another.

Ann deepened the kiss, her hands moving up Anne’s stomach to her breasts, making her shiver as she pressed her chest into the eager touch. Ann pressed her hips against her until the counter was digging into Anne’s back. She was panting as she reached down and impatiently fiddled with Anne’s belt until it fell open.

Anne’s mind was clouded with desire, her hips bucking forward eagerly, craving Ann’s touch more than anything. She enjoyed how forward her wife was, her impatience and straight to the point actions making Anne feel wanted and pushing the weight of the day off her shoulders bit by bit. Anne could only hold on to her wife, encouraging her without words to go on.

Ann moved close, groaning in her ear as she slipped her hand inside her boxers and found plentiful wetness awaiting her. She’d never tire of the feeling of Anne warm and wet against her fingers, the slick glide as she started rubbing in the tight circles that she knew would unravel her wife.

Anne’s eyes closed and she moaned, every touch shooting through her body like lightning. She wrapped one arm around Ann and steadied herself with the other against the counter as Ann expertly brought her closer to her peak with each stroke.

“You’re so hot,” Ann breathed next to her ear before kissing a way along her jaw.

Opening her eyes, Anne found her staring at her with raw want reflecting back at her, lips slightly parted. She nearly came right then from the sight alone, hips insistently pressing into Ann’s hand as she let out a shaky breath.

“Ann…”

Ann licked her lips, tugging at her blazer with her free hand. “This fucking blazer… you shouldn’t be allowed to wear these.”

Anne chuckled confidently, or rather tried to, the sound coming out more as a strangled half-moan. “Why not?”

“Because it makes me wet the moment I look at you,” Ann whispered next to her ear.

There was no stopping the explosion between her legs as those words combined with Ann’s skilled touch sent her over the edge, a loud moan echoing in their four walls.

She didn’t know how long it took for her to come down from her high, only that the day’s tension had been wiped away and replaced with contentment and lightness. Anne opened her eyes, just in time to see Ann licking her fingers clean.

Their gazes met, a challenging twinkle in her wife’s eyes as she continued seemingly unaffected, her pink tongue licking along her fingertip before taking it in her mouth. Anne groaned, her core throbbing at the sight.

She pulled Ann’s hand away from her mouth, urgently pressing her lips to hers and her body to Ann’s. Her wife moaned as Anne pushed her into the opposite counter, wasting no time trailing hungry kisses to her ear before reaching under her and lifting Ann to sit on top.

The blonde bit her lip, her cheeks flushed and eyes wild as Anne stood between her parted legs, running her hands under the dress and up her smooth thighs.

Ann pulled her back into her by her blazer, both moaning as their lips impatiently slipped against each other. Anne could feel her pulse racing in her body as she trailed her right hand higher until she felt the wet fabric of Ann’s panties against her fingertips.

Another day, she may have considered teasing, but not here, not today. She needed to be inside Ann right now, reaching under to pull her panties down her legs before sliding her fingers over her clit. Ann shuddered, flexing her hips.

“Fuck, Ann,” Anne breathed as she teased her entrance and pressed inside, revelling at the slick heat surrounding her as she started thrusting into her at a fast pace. Ann’s fingers immediately dug into her shoulders in a tight grip as moans spilled from her lips each time Anne filled her.

Ann gasped as those long fingers curled inside her just right, her hips rocking urgently against her wife’s hand as she approached her peak quickly – too quickly perhaps, but she often didn’t last long under Anne’s skilful touch.

“Anne…”

“You feel so good…”

“I- Oh God…”

She was right there, only a little more, only-

The moment Anne’s thumb brushed against her clit, Ann cried out, tensing as her climax rolled over her with a force and swept her away. She barely registered Anne’s arm wrapping around her as she rode it out, barely noticed soft lips pressing against her shoulder.

A few moments later, she took a deep breath and opened her eyes, finding Anne staring at her with adoration in those brown eyes. Her lips curled into a smile, and so did Ann’s as the satisfaction of her post-orgasm bliss mingled with a growing warmth in her chest.

“I love you.”

Anne kissed her lips, still smiling. “I love you too. Shall we sit down on the sofa? I’m absolutely shattered.”

She chuckled, and Ann nodded with a smile as she hopped off the counter and put her panties and dress back in place while Anne closed her pants and buckled up her belt.

She shrugged off her blazer, sighing in relief as she let herself fall on the soft cushions and Ann pressed into her side. Wrapping an arm around her, Anne smiled. To her other side, the sofa dipped as Luke jumped on it and purposefully strode over to settle in one of his favourite places: Anne’s lap. The women chuckled, and Anne stroked his soft fur as Ann browsed through their Netflix watchlist.

There was no place Anne would rather be: her wife curled against her side and their cat in her lap, in the warmth of their own home. She got to wake up with the woman she loved every morning and fell asleep with her in her arms every night. All these things unthinkable not so long ago, distant dreams she’d been chasing for decades without a chance for them to ever be fulfilled. And yet, here she was.

Ann leaned up to kiss her cheek, smiling as their gazes met.

“Want to order some Chinese or something?”

Anne nodded, silently thanking whatever gods may or may not be out there for her luck that had led to this turnaround in her life. It had all started with a Christmas party she hadn’t even been keen to attend. Fascinating how things worked out sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't plan for it at all, but they ended up fucking anyway :D I hope you enjoyed this story and are happy with the way it ended. Thank you all so much for reading and for your comments throughout this journey.
> 
> I'm going to take a little time to think about my next story, there are a few loose ideas I have but I need to settle on one and flesh it out properly before starting something new. I'll be back soon, and will also be participating in the Anne Lister birthday challenge in a few weeks :)


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